I get a little spike in the morning but it’s usually over in less than an hour. Then I get hit with task paralysis for the rest of the day, spiral when I go to bed, and if I’m lucky I’ll get tired enough to slip into a mildly dissociative hyperfocused state.

I also can’t do creative things. I have too many ideas, they don’t mesh, I get frustrated and give up. And nothing is ever just right. There’s always something to nitpick, something that needs to be changed. Writing is so hard. I have the thoughts, but I struggle to put them into words. When I do find the words, they never feel right. Sometimes it takes me an hour to write an email. It all just gets really frustrating sometimes.