Helium mask.
I went through a serious bout of cancer when I was 30 and saw what it looks like trying to fight the inevitable. I’ve been cancer free for about 9 years now, but the suffering I went through and saw in others left its mark on me.
When I do finally get sick again, I will go out on my terms, not the disease’s.
Don’t use the helium gas for balloons, its mixed with enough oxygen to keep you alive, use nitrogen or argon from welding supply places.
I have a book about this, and I think it’s good to plan ahead.
I’m also too scared to read the book because I struggle with suicidal thoughts, and I fear I might make the decision too soon, when I’m in fairly good health.
I’ll probably get bodied by a massive SUV while cycling
I wrote basically the same thing before seeing your comment. Stay safe, hope you keep the rubber side down.
(I’d hope for safe bike infrastructure but I don’t believe in Santa anymore.)
Lol probably same for me. Already got bodied (lightly) once, half of my back was all tones of yellow, brown and purple for a month. Thankfully only the soft tissue suffered. Always wear a helmet! The bastard took one hell of a beating that day but at least my head was completely fine.
My username
Hello there!
Sup Snowden
damn ur that important
One side of my family is all heart disease, the other side is all cancer.
I’ll obviously find a way to die of heart cancer.
Jesus that would be like a 1 out of 10,000,000 thing to develop
well there are 8 billion people so
By nobody stopping me from building my own helicopter.
You joke, but my dad literally built (most) of his own helicopter. My mom wouldn’t let him fly it because of us kids haha. He sold it still incomplete
My main mode of transportation is a bicycle and I live in North America. I will likely die spread out on the asphalt when someone runs me over with their oversized SUV/truck after they blow through an intersection out of turn while on a Facetime call.
No amount of defensive riding will protect you against that, unfortunately.
This is the main reason I don’t cycle.
Probably suicide.
I read the tile as who do you think will, and was confused seeing this
Also
,
You ok mate, iam open to talking if you want. DM me or if you have a matrix account , iam at @barafur:matrix.org
As someone who has always felt the same way, look. Time eventually runs out, and age and disease catches up to us. Hard labor wears us the fuck out. Some pain never stops. There’s only a few things that keep me going; I’m convinced that humanity needs people with my perspective on climate change and fascism. Both must be fought til death. There are also people I love who I don’t want to hurt. Finally, maybe we’ll find an alien civilization soon! And so I go on.
But there are limits to what I will fight. I’ve watched a friend die from brain cancer. I will not go that way. I’ll choose my own path.
Love and Justice are excellent reasons to stick around.
Very kind. Almost certainly not going to happen for a few years until only non-dementia parent dies.
Alright, but am still open to talking if you want. Can’t say i am in a better position as i attempt suicide a little over a year ago, tried overdosing on my insulin
But, i know that whether i was gonna through with it or not, i would still liked to talk to someone, be it that or chitchat
Also, the reason it didn’t work was a generation family heath error as you are not meant to inject into your stomach, not my parent, or even grandparents knew
Sorry to hear that you were suffering. I’m feeling better about my recent brain spaz but I still reckon it’ll happen in years to come.
Thanks,Ironically, almost everyone in my family, have admitted having suicidal thought at some point, and not like in curious morbid kind of way. This coupled with my gradma intentionally overdosing on her meds, leds me to belive at the very least is partially genetic.
either way i hope thinks get better for you
Ah you know I reckon everyone past the age of 30 has probably had similar thoughts, to some degree. It’s the human condition. Perhaps not those with some sort of severe intellectual disability who cannot process that much self-actualisation.
Most people just dismiss them or never act on them.
Christmas morning in 2015 I was on a park bench hungover and depressed as fuck having slept the night in an open garage in a strange city, after drunk raging in My MIL’s house calling her horrid names after hearing her (or thinking I heard her) berating my wife because I was getting smashed on the couch.
I stormed out, hung about then tried to get back into get my wallet and passport. The door was locked so I kicked my way in and got the stuff and swore some more and left. Huddled in an carport/ garage downstairs overnight with mosquitos and rain seeping in.
Later I got up and went to a local park where everybody ignored me. I found an empty bottle in the bushes, smashed it and tried to cut my wrists but was too much of a whimp to do it properly.
Eventually called some sort of official thing and ended up in a psych hospital for a few hours. Luckily I knew someone else in this strange foreign city so called them and they came to discharge me into their care.
The police interviewed me a couple days later and my wife had said she wasn’t fearful for her physical safety so I was off the hook. I’m not actually violent as such, but I might hurt myself.
I spent the next couple weeks with my old acquaintance until our tickets were due to fly us back. Our kids were told that I had to fly back home briefly to deal with a project. I met them all at the airport and flew home in silence.
Giving up booze was my next challenge, which I did alone, angry and determined.
Recently I’ve been dreaming of an old girlfriend whom I left and have felt horrible about the situation ever since.
She’s the one I really love and I’ll die by the thought of her grace. But not before my parents die. I cannot hurt them.
There you go. There’s my story. I’ll probably choose hanging next time.
This will probably sound inappropriate as fuck but when my family found out about my suicidal atempt, i had a talk with sister and we both joked about not finding a place to hang ourselves as apparently she also tried to choke herself with the charger USB, didn’t work.
Have talked to anyone about this before like a family member or friend
My luck I’ll somehow live forever; if only to suffer the consequences of life. But if I had my way, I’d love to go “peacefully” in my sleep. Just lay down one night and never wake up.
Cancer is a fairly safe bet; I’m in the western world.
I hope it’s not for a long time. I grew up seeing my great grandmother age gracefully and finally pass in peace in her favorite chair reading John Grisham novels. I admired that woman so much, despite the fact that she lived alone, her life partner long gone, she enjoyed her humble life in her cozy home.
I hope to do the same, for my heart to just stop beating in my advanced age. I’ve told my family that I don’t think I’ll mind even if I’m the last to go, I want to see how it all ends. I want to see the good and the bad of everything. I want to live as long as I possibly can.
I’ve planned my death, but I won’t tell anyone the details because I don’t want to be distracted from the experience.
I’m not depressed or suicidal. It’s something I’ve planned for old age, when I’m becoming invalid.
CW: Grim content
I’ve thought about this, and having worked in hospitals and nursing homes, I’ve seen a lot of people die, so it’s given me some perspective.
My husband is the closest person to me by far. He also has a lot of chronic health problems. I suspect he will pass away before me.
The older I get, the fewer people I have in my life. In my 20s and into my 30s, I had a lot of friends, but little by little they’ve fallen off. I’ve got a couple friends in my MTG playgroup and one friend who I go longboarding with in the summer, but beyond that, I’ve pretty much lost touch with everyone. This only gets worse as time passes.
Best-case scenario is that I die in a nursing home or hospital, completely alone. Maybe my nieces and nephews might visit sometimes, but there’s no way I’d ever see them frequently, nor should they feel compelled. I’ll be old and confused in a strange scary place, with people talking in that condescending baby voice that I saw a lot of CNAs and nurses use. If I’m still able, I can play video games or something up until the end, but I have reason to suspect I have the beginning of Parkinson’s like my dad, so slim chance of that. I’ll just die staring at the ceiling, in a completely emotionless void.
Worst-case scenario (most likely) is that I get put in a nursing home but evicted for being too poor. Then I’d just die faster out on the streets or something, or in a shelter. And come to think of it, this might actually be the preferred scenario.
Either way, I’ll certainly die alone and unloved.
I don’t think I will.
fate be a cruel mistress. won’t let me go, gonna make me suffer for decades more.
Yeah, I was thinking about not bothering with it either.
This has changed over the last 15 years.
For the longest time I was sure it going to be by my own hand. I had looked at different methods of suicide. I had very bad depression and I thought about it a lot. I eventually started treatment and while it was still a struggle and in no way cured my depression, it helped me make changes in my life that took me out of the situations that exacerbated the depression. I also started treatment for my ADHD.
Now, I’m not so sure. I still have the occasional bout of hopelessness, crying, and ideation. But it’s rare now. My girlfriend and her daughter are moving in soon and I’m starting to be optimistic about the future.
Now it’s probably my health, a car accident, or I blow myself up somehow.
I don’t exercise and I work from home. So I’m overweight and don’t move as much as I should.
I like to drive and let’s be honest, it’s a dangerous method of travel.
I work with explosives. We make it as safe as it can be and it’s unlikely something will happen, but it’s an inherent risk of the profession.
Congrats and good luck not exploding
My great-great-grandfather was murdered by an iceberg in 1875 and some days I feel a mysterious chill breeze that suggests it’s still out there and not finished with my family. Or my arse. Probably that now I think of it.
I think your great grandfather made a deal for a stupid large amount of money, but instead of a snail it was an iceberg that would kill him
The family would like to know where the magic iceberg money went, as we never saw a penny of it.
