Perpetual imperial war, cool cool cool.

Make sure they can both see me and understand that I heard their cries. Turn my back and walk away.

Meet injustice with justice.

She sleeps with men, that’s pretty gay

Even if we don’t believe that (which I don’t) the dudes on the boats are not kingpins and commanders, they are one step above literal slaves, their choices are pretty much:

1: Drive the boat and don’t get caught or tell anyone, or 2: get necklaced as soon as your wife is done getting necklaced

Okay so first let me tell you about a woman named Patty Hearst…

Overt bad guy: Sauron

Secret bad guy: Saurumon

There was a van life de-influencer called Dave2D (not the computer one) who lived in a van and demonstrated the harsh realities of living full time in a van, while also mocking and exposing van life influencers who made it look glamorous, and called out those who were obviously just living in a house and pretending to be living in vans for the insta. He regularly made fun of those vanlife couples, especially when they inevitably broke up, until a very famous recently single vanfluencer killed herself after enduring lots of harrassment by his followers, and then Dave2Ddeleted almost all his videos.

Then he moved into a car with a puppy in LA and someone stole his catalytic converter while he was sleeping in the car, then he moved to a tiny cabin in Montana and transitioned to painting on Livestream, and now as far as I know he has no presence on YouTube.

Something terrible.

Most people who rape kids

Can’t he just do the big funny with a tomahawk missile before retiring?

And the hookers are just all obese sweaty neckbears roleplaying as hookers

Most people give up 10-25 years of their life to a prison cell, but whatever.

I used to fix POS machines and networks for retail and hospo. I didn’t wear a uniform, just a polo shirt. I could walk into server rooms, storerooms full of liquor, and open cash registers without ever announcing myself or saying who I was.

Retail and hospo workers so often DGAF who walks behind the bar.

Mostly I make JIRA tickets.

Maybe Trump should buy Islas Malvinas from Argentina.

Never meet your heroes.

Personally I blame Dave Plummer.

Never ever regretted being uncircumcised. In fact, I regularly feel especially grateful to my parents for not getting me circumcised. If it were socially acceptable, I’d talk to more people about it and why it’s great not being circumsized. I would get me parents a “Thanks for not mutilating me as a baby” thank you cake.

Gay marriage for all (mandatory)

In acid?