If the party says the pipes are smooth, the pipes are smooth.

Gosh I hope it’s me >:3

British cuisine is abysmal, but Australia doesn’t even have a cuisine at all.

The cow that made that cheese should sue him for assault.

Your mum is the best sausage handler in the world

What about doner kebab and garlic sauce?

It was saltier than I expected

I used to drink the milk of other species

A watched clock never boils!

There’s a tiny little suburban enclave in my city that is entirely surrounded be freight and passenger rail lines.tgeres only one road in and you have to cross the train tracks to enter

I think about the people who live here more than I reasonably should.

GAU-8 discombobulates people

Nah it’ll be fine Ill just have a quick peek!

I’ve never considered the colour of the sun. I’m going to get my telescope out and have a look later today!

It doesn’t look like anything to me, comrade.

All’s I know about sasquatch is that they are interdimensional all-terrain vehicles piloted by aliens and delivered by flying saucers that come to steal our water and cow rectums.

But they are not, repeat, NOT demonic entities. It is in fact the Greys which aren’t aliens but hyperterrestrial demons in biomechanical exosuits.

Batman on his bathorse

This is why we Jason Bourne style snatch the gun out of their holster before they can draw it and beat them unconcious with it.

For cocaine, yes

"What’s with all the train tracks you’re laying?*

“Oh, I’m adding blue science packs.”