Routines is our friend. Routines takes care of us.

And the guy in the middle is arguably the most powerful SCP in the room. Whenever he is killed, he regenerates a new body to replace the old one, and he also might be host to some even more appalling eldritch abomination.

Hmm.

Since Trump hit the scene, I’ve come to believe that everything that can happen has had a 50/50 chance of being either normal or absolutely batshit insane. And, really, that’s much too high a ratio of insane. If the insane thing happened one time out of a hundred or a thousand or so, that would be the right amount of insane outcomes. But fifty fifty is completely intolerable.

I can think of “penny for your thoughts,” and “I don’t give a red cent,” and arguably the very concept of “penny loafers,” but all of those are fairly archaic. What are some others?

An Andrew Cuomo-era nursing home.

“Empty”?

What are the mimics disguised as? Floorboards? Lint?

I feel like Scroll of Immolation could cause an exploding plague that would plausibly wipe out the entire population of anything more than a moderately large city where the population density was high enough.

There was a Superman: The Animated Series episode where someone put a bomb in Clark Kent’s car (or something like that) and it went off and the episode dealt with him having to come up with a plausible explanation for how he survived.

Coal Ash Is More Radioactive Than Nuclear Waste

Ask John Bolton how that worked out.

Destroying National Landmarks for Fun and Profit

I have a graduate degree in psychology

You would know better than me, but just from personal life experience, I tell people “Don’t try to ascribe rational motivations to irrational actors, because the effort will just make you crazy in turn.”

There’s only one way to find out if you’re right or wrong. Let’s release those files!

Cockroaches do a lot of litter cleanup out in nature. I worry about what might happen if they vanished. But those malaria mosquitoes can fuck right off to Hell as far as I’m concerned.

The white supremacists are losing the numbers game, so “something must be done before it’s too late.”

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I have fun in my car by just practicing various maniacal Joker laughs.