When I was very young, maybe 7 or 8, my parents took me to Rancocas Nature center in Westhampton, NJ. There was a jar full of tiny, rubber dinosaur figurines in bright neon colors because it was the 80s. I asked my parents if I could get one, but they said no (we had very little money). Well, the ranger manning the shop held up a little orange ankylosaurus and said if I could name it, I could keep it. Well, grade school me was like, “Game on, motherfucker! It’s my time to shine!” I wound up winning 4 of them before the ranger said he might get in trouble if we kept on going. I don’t remember what the other three were, but that neon orange ankylosaurus was my favorite toy for a very long time!

I hope that ranger is having a great life!

Relationship mechanics. If I give someone a pumpkin twice a week, they’re just going to be confused and pissed.

Oh, come the fuck on…

When you can hear each others same jokes for the umpteenth time and still laugh.

I can’t be the only person who first read “Fuckwhale”

Tidus

Nice try, pickpocket!

Pet my cat Woodworking Reading Watching After Hours or OPCD Hanging out with my wife (100% effective)

I like the second one better. The white is a little too much for a dark bottle.

Anyone else see Darkwing Duck in that image at first?

Ted Lasso

Super subjective, but for my handtool woodworking, my grail is a pistol grip Stanley 610 drill. Do t know why, but ever since I saw one, I’ve wanted it!

Grunch

Cheesesteaks and yeungling

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

It’s mega-maid, sir! She’s gone from suck to blow!

I had a friend whose dog had 5 puppies in his 1BR apartment. The smell of urine was bad enough that it choked you and made your eyes water. This house must be a toxic nightmare

A friend of mine turned me on to pineapple and peanut butter on my burger. It is weirdly amazing.

Mallet and chisel

reads news oh.

Full bathtub and a toaster

Dick Van Dyke and Dolly Parton are the real American royalty.