Listen to music I was into in my teens & twenties and sing out loud. Cook grub. Clean the flat. Read books on couch and go to sleep early. Probably start a project that will be left unfinished on the table. Enjoy the peace & quiet. Then walk around talking to myself and get annoyed for being lonely and bored.

Judging by the look on its historical face, the bowls must’ve been empty already then

manul

Excited to wake up to a new day, slightly confused, a bit of a hassle going on but there are some friendly faces around and I get to help those people fend off a dragon, everybody seems to be expecting great things of me!

…some months later I’ve lost the track of my life, no idea where I should be going, a long to-do list in the pocked I am sneak-archering through yet another draugr-filled cave, later I go pick up flowers and delivering notes instead of focusing on the big and important goals, what were they anyways? I seem to have ridden on this side path for too long and really need to find direction for my life. Everyone is waiting for me to save the day after all! I’ll just finish this one small thing and get to it –

Excited to wake up to a new day, slightly confused, a bit of a hassle going on but there are some friendly faces around and I get to help those people fend off a dragon, everybody seems to be expecting great things of me!

Be me at 15, obviously depressed, mom: “I’m worried about you hanging out with (my partner at that time), they wear black and are weird, it seems like they are bad company for you!”. Me at 35, still struggling with mental health problems and having recently got an ADHD diagnosis w/ autism traits, been to psychotherapy for 3 years because of trauma-related depression and anxiety, yet mom goes: “it must be the guy you hang around with in your teens!” (And has nothing to do with the trauma of being neglected as a child and raised by undiagnosed neurodivergent parents with their own traumas, as well as having lived with undiagnosed AuDHD and dealing with the consequences).

So damn that weird guy who wore black! I wish I had known better! Also can’t be AuDHD, probably just want to use drugs or something, everyone has those same problems anyways! And they aren’t really problems either, just similar to her “personal traits” or could be that I’m just not trying hard enough!

I just had food in my mouth, thanks

I have a drawer in the garage titled “uncle solutions”, it has a collection of rusted wire, bits of electric wire and similar shit for “quick fixes”. I also just bought me and my SO nordic walking sticks, we still need to get matching trekking suits. Oh and I dream about retiring to a remote cottage and growing my own veggies like proper siberian babushka.

I probably would end up in limbo getting splashed by Magikarp

Being ND it feels that my senses are already too much sometimes and they become even more amplified by the amount of stress I experience. Honestly I’d rather have the option to decrease the intensity of sensory experiences than increase it. 😅

There are various factors that increase the risk of course, but according to the doctors for a person this young the exposure is not the reason for getting sick. Epigenetics could be the reason for the increase in young people’s mouth cancers as epigenetic changes in genes can transmit across generations, meaning it’s possible that, for example, environmental exposure that occurred in one generation, could be transmitted even further beyond their children and grandchildren.

Big up to all my fellow unsuccesful burned out ND millenials without houses or careers! You know who you are!

Yup. My SO got mouth cancer a couple years back in their early 30’s, even though the operation was succesful and chemo & radiation worked and they’ll be considered cancer-free in about 9 months, the fact that it happened so early means it’s quite likely they’ll get it again. How does one live with that information? And as a partner how do I build my life around it? Of course it’s possible they’ll never get that shit again, but it would be foolish to not prepare ourselves mentally for the worst. If it’s around the head they can’t get more radiation. If it’s in the same place than the previous one they’d would probably lose their ability speak, eat properly etc. The chemo probably made them infertile so if we’d like to have biological childer we have just a couple years to make the decision, and I have restrictions about that so we’d have to look for other opportunities anyways, and we should start looking for them now but we * can’t *. If we move elsewhere, as we’d like to, the chances are they won’t get as good treatment as here. I don’t feel like I’m ready to consider all this in my mid 30’s while I’m still trying to find my place in the world. So yeah, fuck cancer.

I’m usually grumpy in the morning and feeling rarher down until 15-16, after that my mood gets a lot better, evenings and night time is best for me. If I have to wake up really early I feel just empty.

Elvanse can make the afternoon crash worse and it also causes a depression hour at around 17, I’ve tried taking half the dose in the morning and half mid-day and it seems to help with the crashes but it also makes the quality of my sleep worse…

Or “plaa-plaa-plaa”

Cat knows their value, if that’s a real Eames chair they cost nearly 13k€ 😂

I just heat up some frozen veggies, pretty good with kimchi!

Raw porridge is a good breakfast (and lunch) option, but you need to put it in the fridge the night before. I mix some oats, seeds, nuts and berries or fruit in a container and add soy/oat milk and some yoghurt (high protein soy yoghurt is best). Fresh dates are a superior sweetener and cinnamon + cardamom give a nice twist. 1/2 container of dry stuff and fill it up with liquid. I used to live on this stuff.

Good that they’ve finally updated the firmware! The previous models didn’t have charge status indicator bar and the only way to check was by a belly rub sequence, but it was very risky as there’s a major safety concern with the model: attempting the belly rub sequence would cause some units to randomly short-circuit switching them from friendly loaf mode to aggressive self-defense, thus inflicting significant damage on user’s hand!

The last encounter with Alexander the Warrior Jar in Elden Ring made me cry. What a brave jar and a good friend.

I think I might’ve cried for other reasons too when playing Elden Ring. :')

As it should be!

What a shame that the cheese and red wine flood didn’t happen at the same time. It would’ve been a feast!