Not looking forward to getting a medical checkup, but the future Starbucks sounds fun.

He thinks pets are for the unwashed plebs.

He’s a cunt

“It’s ok son. Don’t listen to her. Your mother is fucking insane.”

If I’m sitting on the couch, the phone is not on me. It’s on the table next to me or on a counter somewhere. I don’t even always look at it if I get a message. Sometimes I’ll wait hours after I get a message to read it.

This can probably be argued that places that deny phones, like courts, could be charged with criminal intent against you.

I don’t use those self checkout machines because they’re a serious liability to me. If I fuck up and miss scanning something, then I get a shoplifting charge. Best case, they realize it was a simple mistake a trespass me indefinitely for it.

Fuck you. Ring up the items for me.

I also now have a new policy. If they have more self checkout open than regular checkout, I leave my cart in the parking lot NOT in the buggy corral.

There used to be sort of an unspoken honour system that if they didn’t have to pay a kid to collect carts, prices would stay down. Now they’re reducing their labour AND bumping prices to increase profits.

Fuck you. Collect your own cart.

They had tanks there. I think that would have been more performative.

Wooof,… kableeeewy,… SPLAT

Grand applause

Can someone explain how this would work?

I think to pull this off California would need to enact some sort of large state tax and then offer tax rebates. Then California could capture the money before it’s sent to the fed.

This Canadian doesn’t want the added baggage of American guns, Jesus, and hubris.

I’m clubbing the bot in the head and stealing it’s batteries.

The people who want California to just leave are the ones who want to dismantle the country.

This Canadian is fine with it at this point. Fuck the USA. We’ve been your friend forever and you shit on us.

Burn baby burn.

Not just anyone. Just Trump supporters eating at Trump Burger.

How about Planned parenthood?

Toadstool.

Next week on Kitchen Nightmares:

Gordon: “You donkey! You’re going to get someone killed!! You can’t store raw pork and chicken in the same tray as the iceberg lett…”

Ice Nazi: “Blackbag him boys. Teach this immigrant slug to respect the new way.”

LOL. New phone cases are going to have little privacy sliders to go over the cameras.

all of the known gold in the world would fit into a cube with a side length of 20-25m.

Same could probably be said about my lifetime toenail clippings, but Beyonce won’t be dropping high stacks for those earrings.

Hold on. Wait a minute.

It’s cold and I need fluffing.

“STOP RESISTING”