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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 16th, 2023

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  • My first experiences on the internet were riddled with misogyny. As a child, I was told I am lying about being a girl and didn’t sound like one. I had many guys tell me “tits or gtfo” when learning I’m a girl, usually after they asked me if I was a girl. I tried playing some multiplayer team games online and was hazed once they found out I was a girl, multiple times. I refuse to play those games now. Even as an adult, I’ve had gamer guys think I’m great until they learn I’m a feminist, then the hate comes back. I’ve dated an adult man who belittled me for playing Sims because people with real lives play games like Overwatch. At least mainstream media felt like there were more women around, lemmy just feels more centered for men :/


  • I get that men are terrified about false rape accusations, even though there is an extremely low chance of it happening, they are afraid. When someone talks about sexual assault, in their mind they feel they need to defend themselves by bringing up false accusations because in their mind it will discourage this crime, bring light to real victims, and thus protect themselves. I’m not a man but this is what I’ve been told. Then you have victims, who simply want their rapist and other rapists to face justice. They often know others around them who have also been sexually assaulted. When they talk about sexual assault and someone else brings up false accusations, it feels like they don’t actually care about the victims and just want to soapbox about false accusations, stealing the spotlight. They might even be a toxic part of the manosphere.

    The nature of the crime means it is usually the victim and the perpetrator alone and not in public, and the victim is more likely to know who the assaulter is. It can be a family member, friend, partner, etc. There usually isn’t much evidence to prove sexual assault. So we have a problem. As you said, you don’t believe a hefty amount of these sexual assaults should have laws enforced on them. I don’t have a solution, other than a suggestion that people should be more empathetic towards victims. And not ask questions like yours to victims.

    questions like these are unproductive
    1. How many rapists are you ok with letting go free so that you or someone you know doesn’t have to go to prison for something they didn’t do? 1,000? 10,000? Every single rapist? Is it better to let every single criminal go free so that you do not have to go to prison?

    2. Do you think rape/sexual assault don’t happen?




  • Lemmy is mostly men, it is hard to share any other perspective. SA is hard to get a conviction in. If there isn’t physical evidence like semen, then the victim is called a liar. If there is semen evidence, then the victim is called someone who regretted their choice and is now getting back at the person. (And this is assuming the perpetrator was male, there can be female perpetrators too). A lot of victims do not come forward about what happened because they don’t want to be called a liar and labeled a pariah publicly. The absolute shame and rejection when someone doesn’t believe you. This subject is pretty sensitive to me and lemmy just really, really disappoints sometimes.













  • The state I was born in has a public birth record, everything about me was already on the internet before I was an adult. I started trying to get my online info removed as an adult but it is like a game of whack-a-mole plus I get the patronizing: “all info we have is public record, we’re not doing anything wrong.” Then when I vote, the voting registry is public so even more up-to-date info of me gets leaked online 🫠 I froze my credit since I’m paranoid.

    As for the government, well they already have all of my info, not much I can do about that. They’ve been spying on their citizens for decades, their surveillance expands more and more as time passes on.


  • I recommend against Hawaii. It’s not exactly self sustaining since there are too many people living there. Housing/rent is crazy high so there are many homeless. Everything is much more expensive. Jobs can be hard to find. The islands are sinking. Storms still hit every season. Depending on the island, you may be dealing with volcanic eruptions and vog. And I do believe their coral reefs are bleaching. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Then factor in the locals, they only want locals living there and to restore their Hawaiian Kingdom, #GoHomeHaole. Best to pick somewhere else.