Bro I know the feeling. I’m still in uni, but I’ll have my life put together, getting homework done on time, cleaning regularly etc. and then there’ll be like something wrong with one of my grades and I procrastinate writing the email to my professor for no reason at all and suddenly I can’t do anything and I get overwhelmed by everything I’m not doing and that just makes me dread doing anything.
Anyway, sorry you’re feeling depressed right now. But if you want my opinion, if it’s impacting your life negatively, I don’t think it matters if someone has it worse than you. If your life could be better, that’s what matters.
Honestly, finding a psychiatrist and setting up the appointment was probably the hardest part of getting medicated. I put it off for multiple years even though I knew that I probably had ADHD, but let me tell you, that first day on my meds, sitting in class and realizing I am actually getting information out of the lecture, it was so weird. Like wow people actually learn things in class? I can actually write emails and make phone calls without having to build up the motivation over several days? I regret not doing it sooner.
Anyway, if you feel like medication would help, once you get your “pinball machine” running again, I think getting diagnosed may be worth a try. You deserve to try and make your life better just as much as others do, even if you don’t have it as bad as they do.
One of the effects of me getting medicated is being able to make phone calls and schedule meetings. Do I still hate that everyone would rather I call and stumble over my words and forget what I’m going to say rather than let me write an email that allows me to clearly and concisely ask my questions? Yes, fuck them for doing that. Hell, it’s stupid and inefficient to try and find times your schedules are both open to have a meeting when you could just write a fucking email and reply to it when your schedule allows. But yeah, anyway, now I actually have enough executive function to make those phone calls and meetings when I have to.
Also here’s a reminder to take your meds because I definitely would have forgotten to take mine if I hadn’t seen this post and remembered.