I just don’t get it… Why is that important, especially for kids now, that feel like they need to do a YouTube video asking for a date or doing some meme stuff. Some teens even hire the hottest celebrity or ask them to appear in their prom? This is so bizarre for me, all that just for a frivolous night.
In my country prom was a thing but nowhere near as theatrical, I didn’t went to either my prom trip or the party. Also skipped half of my middle school trips.
I think it’s important to remember that the USA isn’t a single culture. Things vary dramatically even within a single state to say nothing of differences between states.
In some areas prom is very important. In others, not so much.
Only one of my three kids went to prom (Eastern PA).
Prom in my high school was a relatively big deal. You rented a tux or bought a dress. Some people would rent a limo. The prom was held in some kind of banquet hall with a fairly fancy meal. There’d be a DJ and dancing.
My wife was one year behind me in high school, and we attended FOUR proms (my junior prom, then the next year her junior prom and my senior prom, then the next year I came back for her senior prom).
I think for most people it’s just an opportunity to get dressed up, have a good meal, and dance. If you’re already dating someone, it obviously has more significance, but I had plenty of friends who just took another friend as a date for the prom and others who didn’t go with anyone. However, there was a lot of pressure to be a “couple”, even if you weren’t actually romantically involved with your “date”.
Typically the parents take pictures of the kids in their dresses and tuxedos. From the parents’ point of view, it’s a moment to sort of take note of how your kids are maturing and think about what the future holds for them. Lots of thinking about how old you are ;-)
Often there’s an after party that goes on late into the morning, and for many kids the after party is more important than the prom.
I think social media has had an effect on what prom is, but it also has the effect of distorting what it is to people who only experience it remotely. When you’re seeing the crazy YouTube videos and Instagram posts, you’re not seeing what prom is. You’re seeing a snapshot of what those particular proms are.
Thank you, that was a really good explanation!
Most US kids skip prom as well but there is a lot of pressure to go and have someone to bring. Honestly its not as big a thing as TV/movies makes it.
Prom is fun. You get to hang out with all of your classmates, ask someone out. A subset of people are always going to go overboard, but keep in mind that you don’t see the “normal” cases. Most people just walk up to someone and ask them out. They find a date from the school or go alone.
I’m from Canada so I don’t know if the US is wildly different, but here it is a bit of a big deal, but I think part of that is what makes it fun, you sort of build a bit of hype around what would otherwise be just another school dance.
Is just weird for me, in my country nobody ask anyone dates is was just a party. And even like that I didn’t went… Always had the impression that USA gives this idea that you must get a date to go
FWIW I think it is actually a valuable social skill to be encouraged to ask someone out to prom. A lot of people don’t have many similar experiences throughout their lives.
I’ve never been with anyone in my life. I highly doubt it has to do with not going to a dumb party though.
I don’t really mean literally to practice asking people out. But there are times in your life where you need to ask people for things. It is hard to get over the anxiety, risk of social embarrassment and practice showing confidence (even if you are not). These are valuable skills in all sort of social circumstances.
I asked sometime to the prom and got turned down. All I learned was that rejection hurts a lot more than I would have thought.
Yeah, being rejected can destroy someone’s confidence
You might consider what’s driving you to put people down who are having fun
I don’t put anyone down just because I think a party is lame dude. They can do whatever they want, I can’t stop them.
When you call an event where kids get together to celebrate the end of high school “frivolous” and “dumb,” it really comes across as putting other people down.
you must get a date to go
You really don’t, it’s where the phrase “going stag” (To go without a date, or with a group of friends rather than a date) is commonly used.
Also, HS is important for developing social skills and prom is usually for seniors. The end of the last stage of childhood and an opportunity to flex those skills out as graduation is usually within a couple weeks after prom at which point you’re ejected into the adult world.
It’s just a fun event for teens to be teens before they go fully into the workforce or college
Yeah, with my kids and their friends, it was mostly one or two couples and then their girl and guy friends all went together as a group without dates.
The rituals started in the 1950s. At that time, in order to go on a date with someone, your parents had to chaperone you. It was the wisdom at the time. Prom and homecoming were the only exceptions, so it became a really big thing. Then those people grew up, impressed upon the next generation how homecoming and prom were the best times in high school, started making nostalgia movies about homecoming and prom. That created pressure to live up to this, girls started getting overly fancy dresses, guys started doing elaborate prom-posals, the wedding dress industry jumped in to fill the gap, and now it’s a whole capitalism-fest like Christmas and Valentine’s Day
Can someone explain me [ X country] obsession with [ X celebration] and similar [location] rituals? Why do different cultures have their respective rituals? Why do some people prioritize certain values and act on them? Is having more reasons to celebrate life a bad or good thing?
Nah, I think it’s more; “as someone who consumes 90% of culture X, and gets 90% of the X references, what is the significance of this 10% X reference which has no analog in my native culture?”
based and human nature-pilled
You think prom is weird. Do an image search for Texas homecoming mums.
As a Texan, I can absolutely attest to this
Proms were around for ~50 years before we started seeing “promposals”, where guys would ask girls out with 3 minute-long choreographed dances in the middle of the quad for the whole school to see & record for social media. I’m not saying it’s stupid to put effort into asking someone, it can definitely be cute, but it can also be ultra cringe if you take it too far
The education system is primarily promoting degeneracy. Prom was a good way to start it.
I’m just going to throw out that if your understanding of US prom is based off of movies and videos people make to try and get views, that doesn’t match reality. For mine, it was fun to dress up and dance, but I knew plenty of people who didn’t go, and plenty who went without dates. And there was no prom queen or king or anything.
I would separate the two – Prom isn’t necessarily theatrical in nature. It’s usually the first time a teen gets to dress up and do something special with friends, but the type of thing you’re seeing sounds like pretty typical “lets see if I can go viral” narcissistic behavior.
I haven’t seen anything like what you’re talking about, but Prom isn’t the only target of this type of thing.
Even without the viral part still think is weird. I already though it was weird during my time and that was over 15 years ago and in a third world country.
Just because you’re not into that sort of thing doesn’t make it weird.
“Weirdness” is a strange concept, honestly. People probably thought you were weird for not going.
Only weirdos DON’T attend prom. Even I went.
Sure
Bullshit! Obviously there can only be one correct viewpoint and it’s mine
Prom is part of the culture and teenage experience here. Some people are more into it than others. It’s ok not to totally understand or like it. I’m sure there are things that we don’t understand about other places too.
There’s also a lot of variance within the US. In some towns prom is huge. In my home town it wasn’t as much. Many students elected not to go at all.
A school dance isn’t just a date, it’s a social event. The US doesn’t really have a lot of public social rituals, so a school dance is a unique kind of social experience that doesn’t really exist outside of school. It probably wasn’t as big when there were town festivals and church holiday events where everyone knew each other, but over time the school dances have become the only thing left.
Have you seen all those high school movies? The US is obsessed with high school. I guess prom is just part of that.
At least you don’t expect them to undergo two training arcs, beat a kaiju in single combat and h*ld h*nds with their crush to graduate.
It’s ridiculous and goes along with the gender reveal parties and outrageous destination bachelor/ette parties. Opportunities to post pics of yourself and say ‘look how cool i am’.
Haterade
I though that as well
You’re only seeing the most outrageous edge cases. It’s a weird kind of survivorship bias.
Prom was kinda like graduation to me. It’s a school event, I mostly went because it was important to someone else, and it’s a very common and relatable event in American life. All in, it was a waste of 50 bucks and a few good hours of gaming/relaxing with my GF.
