A few from my grandfather and father which aren’t unique to them but aren’t universal:

1. “red as a smacked ass” or just “smacked ass” - referring to someone who is embarrassed so their face is flushed or generally just a fool
2. “Born on Wednesday looking both ways for the weekend” - someone with a lazy eye
3. “Scissor grinder” - aggravating person, or someone who inserts themselves into other’s business. Ostensibly referring to a person who travels offering sharpening services because they come by unannounced and make a lot of noise in the street.

Related, but not a saying, we had a family tradition at Easter where my grandparents/parents would put all the egg dyes together and dye a final egg a murky brown. That egg was given to the kid with the worst behavior over the last year. It was called the “pissmuckle” egg. There was no discussion after you got it either or any punishment, it was just a censure.

“Everybody’s record starts somewhere.” If you’re considering doing something illegal, is this worth starting your record? (It’s also used to dismiss someone getting into trouble for the right reason.)

I’m realizing that my previous one sets a bad tone for this, but I had hippie uncles, and we were all taught, “We do not cooperate with the police.” Some of us were recently reminiscing about one of my dead uncles and said, “We do not-!” And the rest of us said, “-cooperate with the police!”

All the rest of them are your typical American South sayings.

If you’ve got a dead hooker in the trunk drive the speed limit.

The last one is a legit saying in Germany “Was man nicht im Kopf hat, hat man in den Beinen” (What you don’t have in your head you have in your legs.)

If you are not german (I guess if you were, you would know this is a common saying) maybe your family heard it from some German friends or acquaintance and adapted it.

“There’s always money in the banana stand”

“If you sing at the table you’ll cry before you go to bed.” I thought it was super common until I said it to my kid and my partner thought I was crazy.

For your third example - my mom says “My head wouldn’t save my heels”

Never heard them but there’s something vaguely similar in Italian, going “chi non ha testa abbia gambe” literally “who doesn’t have head, have legs” used in various situations like when you go out and forget something (because you didn’t think of it) you gotta use your legs to go back and take it

So apparently I have a similar contorted expression to my mother when eating sour food.

My father always referred to this as my mother’s-maiden-name-gene. Let’s say her maiden name was Chaplin, he would say “Ah there’s that Chaplin gene again!”

Being young I misunderstood this as a verb, ie. I was “chaplinging”.

Cut to first year of school where I proudly waltz around informing any classmates eating fizzy sweets that the correct and proper term for their reaction is “chaplinging”. It was a few years until the penny dropped.

“you don’t speak unless spoken to”

(i had a shitty family lol)

That one is stupid with two O’s

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6 one way, a half dozen the other.

“The goat man will get you.”

Used as a warning when doing something careless that would invite predators. My great-grandma came to the US from the Czech Republic and told the story of a man who raised goats and would steal children and break into homes at night. It was a reminder to lock your doors and valuables, and to never walk alone in shady neighborhoods.

I wish I could remember how to say it in Czech. It began with “Kuzubah”.

№2 sounds like something Biden would say