Think it very thoroughly if you want kids
As someone nearing his 40s, I really do want to have kids, though I’m really afraid my sedentary body won’t keep up
I ain’t trying to scare you, but if you live a statistically average life you’re about to hit a downward trend in your mood which will last a couple of decades. By the time you’re thirty you’ll likely have a boss, a spouse and kids, all of whose needs will have to come before yours. Things start to improve again at age 47 when the kids have moved out and you’re at the top of your career.
Maintain your friendships. It’s so easy to make them a low priority, but having good friends and being a good friend to them is the way to make it through.
mid 30s guy also learning from most of these comments
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Exfoliate, moisturizer, sunblock
It’s fairly hard to create one-size-fits-all advice since everyone will be in different parts of their lives in different circumstances.
Less time on the internet and definitely away from the big social media sites does one good. Avoiding the 24/7 news cycle does as well. Instead, read a book for something you want to learn or read fiction for some period of time a day on most days.
Listening to other people, especially to women, is a skill. Don’t spend silent time in a conversation waiting for your chance to speak or be smart or witty, stay quiet and really process what you’re hearing. Imagine yourself in their situation. Accept that what they say is exactly how they feel.
The less time you spend talking, the more your conversational partner will tell you, and the more you will start to understand them, their lives, their goals, and their anxieties.
Knowing and understanding other peoples’ experiences will help you not only make better decisions in your own life, but understand why other people act and think the way they do. You’ll be less likely to snap-judge or make assumptions about others. And knowing more about your loved ones, co-workers, and neighbours will allow you to help them effectively if they need it.
And travel abroad as much as possible - listen to people from other countries and cultures. The human experience is wildly varied and endlessly fascinating.
If you want kids, don’t put it off for too long. I waited till my late 30s because I was never ready. Here’s the thing you will never feel completely ready. As long as your life is basically stable (job, housing, and no serious issues) you will be okay.
Kids are hard but super rewarding. If you have them young then you’ll get to see them as adults in your 40s. By the time my kids are adults I’ll be pushing 60 and hoping that I live long enough to meet a grandchild.
People have successfully (shades of grey here I know) been having kids for a long time. You’ll never feel “ready” but rest assured you’ll figure it out.
Take care of your health in general, but take extra special care of your core. Your back will thank you in 20 years.
Back and teeth are haunting me already at 31. Take care of them, it’s crucial for your quality of life!
Especially if you have an office job. Get a really good and really expensive office chair with a flexible back and adjustable arm rests so you’re not sitting in the same position every time.
And also, take a walk every day. I do that every time on my break and haven’t had back problems in years.
37, close enough. Invest invest invest. Start a 401K with Acorns or something, I don’t care. Just start putting money away for your retirement yesterday.
Save 5% now so you don’t have to save 50% later.
When things are great, even small things like a cup of coffee with a friend or a quiet morning, take a minute to say to yourself, “this is really great.” Say it out loud. Years later you will realize those moments are as good as it gets, and if you don’t mark them they just disappear. Bad moments stick around in your head regardless, but the good ones need to be memorialized.
if you don’t mark them
This is why, whenever I’m truly happy, I whip it out and pee in the nearest vaguely vertically-oriented object.
Working hard is for suckers.
Getting paid is what the whole song and dance is about.
I’m 43 and gradually coming around to the fact that as long as my managers aren’t actively talking to me about not doing enough, then I’m doing ok. It’s worked wonders for me being anxious that I’m not doing what’s expected of me.
It’s fine to do the bare minimum as long as you’re not fucking things up for your colleagues. You get paid to cover the minimum of your job description, not to work yourself to death.
We should have been taught this at 23 not FAFO 20 years to learn it.
Sucks to suck being a pleb I guess… “real” people made careers in the mean time.,
Isn’t it just.
I’m surrounded by young lads who think that working themselves to the bone is some kind of flex, or lazy pricks who give the others shit for not working hard enough.
These days I just crack on and do my thing. My manager is happy with my work, and I can sometimes spend a good five hours just scrolling the internet, looking busy.
lazy pricks who give the others shit for not working hard enough.
Upper management potential spotted lol some people are born to win in this system…
Yeah, at some point, they can do but so much bullshit. If you do your job, adults aint got time to bullshit. People got kids lol.
Fuck I needed this. I am at the point where I am about to talk to a psychiatrist about this because I have such bad anxiety about whether I’m doing okay or not at work.
Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.
Go to the dentist. Get a little exercise. Find a way to reduce calories over the next 20 years, spend as little as possible. Borrow a little money for your car. Stay away from credit cards until you make enough to pay the cards in full every month. Keep track of every skill you learn on the job, using that information to transition into higher-paying jobs. Get a savings account. Spend as little as possible without skimping on food quality. Save 1 months salary and keep that in checking. At the end of each month, transfer everything above the target funds into savings. Save 3 months salary for an emergency fund. Once this financial foundation is established, divide additional funds into two buckets: one gets invested each month, the other is for major purchases and travel.
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