geteilt von: https://lemmy.world/post/18499026
“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.
A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.
The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”
It’s interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.
From what I understand it’s the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don’t think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.
Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don’t want to risk misinterpreting it.
Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?
p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.
I would say I’ve never approached a woman romantically not quite out of fear of being viewed as a creep, but out of fear of creeping her out. I’m paranoid about putting people in uncomfortable situations, because I hate when it’s done to me
I could never imagine “approaching a woman romantically”. However, I’d also say it’s 100% a different thing to say, see someone across the room, and then meet at the bar while ordering a drink. “Hey I like how you did your hair” or “Great/terrible music”, small talk you know. If she reacts poorly, eh you tried. But maybe you strike up a conversation, all about confidence
IMO yes, but true of men too. If someone is interested in dating then they are on one or more dating apps or sites, and that is the safe front door they have created to date on their terms.
Dating apps don’t work for everyone though.
I’m still holding out hope that I can meet someone in person, because I’m 99% sure I’ll never get a date out of an app.
We have entered… the Friendlight Zone!
Imagine, if you will. A man so desperate for human companionship he is willing to avoid any and all women he comes across. So determined to not come across as a creep or weirdo. Little did he know he just came across the Friendlight Zone.
I don’t want to toot my own horn. But this would be a perfect Twilight Zone episode 😂
I can remember friends of mine who worked in retail wearing fake wedding rings to fend off advances, because they happened day in and day out, and guys were pushy, and can remember being chatted up every time we went to a club or out anywhere, every single day I worked at a restaurant or in a retail store, and I am not stunning in looks - if this has declined by 90% it is probably at a reasonable level now. You are right those guys didn’t think they were creepy, that doesn’t mean they weren’t.
Online dating has problems, the commodification of people, etc. but you can’t compare it to some ideal that didn’t exist.
Not picking up on hints is a separate thing - that is with someone you already know, right? Who is being subtle because they also don’t know if you are interested. I think you should feel more free to ask someone you know out and they should feel free to accept or decline without thinking you are creepy for asking. That’s not creepy.
No, but it’s more uncommon. It would be nice to have the kind of culture where everyone felt more comfortable with it and cooperated to find good matches naturally.
Yup. Relying on dating apps to propagate our species is good for no one but the dating app stockholders.
I found the best way to meet people has been EDM festivals and hobby events.
In the same year I approached two women out of the blue before the pan. One complimented me for doing so outside of a dating app and the other looked at me like I violated a social norm.
I think the idea of approaching anyone in person is out-of-fashion, but it should be done regardless.
#metoo won, and I hope the species dies for it.
I think this trend predates that by a longshot
You’ve got a generation of young men who look at a woman, and they think “If I approach her, she WILL react badly, I just don’t know HOW badly. There’s a strong chance she’ll assassinate my character online. Pussy just doesn’t sound fun enough to try this.”
That’s a fuckton of assumptions. Terrible assumptions, I might add.
The metoo thing is about coming forward about rape. Conversely, what you’re describing is cyberbullying. I realise the former can be used as the latter by assholes, but publically lambasting someone’s reputation is not a new thing.
If you think getting dragged on school twitter is bad, try having a dirty rumour started about you in a small town.
How is the act of romantically approaching men out by women coming along statistically?
I was and still am very cautious of approaching woman. I asked my gf in person as well because i just think its just important to be genuine and personal about it.
I asked my gf in person as well because i just think its just important to be genuine and personal about it.
When you say you asked your gf in person. What exactly do you mean by this?
Sorry in my head that sounded more clear than it reads. Well i asked her for her number before she was my gf in person.
Wait, if you didn’t have her number how else were you gonna ask her out than in person??
I could have asked her via instagram (i don‘t have insta but she has) or via a friend of hers that i know.
out of date??? no. I can assure you, it happened around the earth several million times to both women and men just last night alone. if there’s one thing I know, it’s that humans are horny as fuck wherever you go.
Do people do it less nowdays? maybe slighty! but that’s really different from being “out of date”
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It’s not. Just do it with 100s of women and you will get there
