• Classy@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I agree with this, and I’ll add that I often have a bit of paralysis around getting into things that I’ve been putting off for years, not because of procrastination, strictly, but because of my fear of failure. 9/10 times, I end up succeeding at the task far better than I could have expected to and I chide myself for doubting my abilities. Rinse and repeat…

  • frunch@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Does anyone here find they really enjoy groups of things, collections, arrays, assortments, varieties? I can’t really explain it adequately, but I’ve always somehow enjoyed collections of various things. One of the things i always think about that I’ve enjoyed since i was a kid, was the way a building in a city might have a set of signs in a vertical column with different logos for all the different stores/businesses within. Somehow i just found it satisfying to see all these different self-contained designs, all representing a variety of products or services. I also have really heavily enjoyed collectibles in my time: action figures, trading cards, video games, etc.

    I also remember having a couple posters above my bed years ago that each had a grid of like 100 different smiley faces that said “Have a day” and each smiley had a different expression/look and it said under it “Have a happy day” or “Have a broken day” or “Have a plaid day” and eventually i got a sequel poster that said “Have a night” with 100 different night-theme smileys each with their own “Have a _____ night”

    Just wonder if that’s a common trait anyone else here can relate to 😅

    • Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 month ago

      I have a similar odd thing that I can only descibe as being fascinated with articulation.

      Robots, skeletons, suits of armor, dolls, gears, some insects.

      Something made of distinct pieces moving in articulated ways, it’s a downright core desire.

      I also like things separated but still connected like by a string, cable, or wireless. Like kites, security cameras, or drones.

      I used to have a toy fishing rod with a rubber fish at the end that I love just throwing in the lake and realing back in. It just tickles my brain.

      And more similar to yours, I really love spreadsheets! They can do so many things!

    • srestegosaurio@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      I don’t have the energy right now to try and express myself in English but some of what you have said has resonated with me.

      I think I experience something similar to the toy building feeling. Dunno if it’s related to ADHD but still.

  • N3Cr0@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    That sounds so much like me! I would still add this on top: The constant rejection from my surroundings made me mask to the point where I refused any identity and tried being faceless. So that nobody could judge me anymore. In retrospective, this way of life has always been a failure.

    • yum_burnt_toast@reddthat.com
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      1 month ago

      damn, hearing it from someone else hits different. sometimes i yearn for the closeness of intimate friendships but the anxiety at the vulnerability of expressing a genuinely held opinion wont let me do anything else

  • FreshLight@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I don’t hook my sense of self to what I want to be. What works for me is having some fix points on my moral compass and I go from there. Just about everything else kinda falls into place. (And I also plan everything ahead, so I know how I want to act…)

  • Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    Straight up me right there

    I want to do so much more and be so much more but here I am

    Though it’s gotten a lot easier to be me and be happy with the progress I make towards my goals, there’s still things I wish I could improve on easier

  • neidu2@feddit.nl
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    1 month ago

    “With your abilities and interest you have so much potential. Why are you sabotaging yourself like this?”

  • fossphi@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Constantly. And then when I’m not good at something (even if I might enjoy it), I dread doing it again

    • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      It’s the lack of flow.

      When I’m good at something, I can switch my brain off (even for mental tasks like programming; it’s weird how ADHD works) and happily do it for hours.

      When I’m working on something I’m not good at or am new to, I need to stop every few minutes to think or research and that gives my ADHD brain an opportunity to attack.

      When I’m medicated, I can maintain that flow state with nearly any task - just with zero control over which task gets priority.

      • fossphi@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        Yeah, I really should look into getting medication. Even if it does work, I still wanna try it. But there’s always a reason not to make efforts for it

    • srestegosaurio@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      I don’t know if it might be due to ADHD (or something related) since I’m still waiting to get tested but I feel the same.

      The moment I notice I’m not good/best among my peers at something I don’t want to touch it even again.

      On the other hand this might be just me acting like a five year old I don’t known. I just related hard.

      • F04118F@feddit.nl
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        1 month ago

        I feel you. What helped me was learning about growth mindset and fixed mindset. It doesn’t magically cure it, but it does help to know why you feel that way and how untrue that reason is.

        I didn’t read the whole book of course, but there’s tons of exec summaries and short talks on it that can help to understand it.

      • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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        1 month ago

        im like the opposite. super sameness man. Im pretty sure people who knew me at any time since high school would likely recognize me. Sure I go down rabbit holes like anyone on the internet nowadays but my likes and dislikes have been pretty steady.

  • kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com
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    1 month ago

    People without ADHD apparently only have a “few” interests, like for example are just into politics and rugby, as opposed to the rest of us who are into politics, rugby, needlepointing, jet skiing, bread baking, Formula 1 racing, ska, tubas, and Sailor Moon until we pick up learning Thai next week and discover modular synths. tbh I found this quite shocking. I cannot even imagine what that is like. No wonder they have so much time to do their laundry.

    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      What

      How do they live like that

      Oh my god is this why so many immortality plots in fiction have the absolutely nonsense moral of “be glad you’re mortal because you’d otherwise run out of things to do” like try me

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Seriously. My video game backlog is already several eternities long, not to mention all the other shit I do. Surfing is an all day activity.

  • lemmyng@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    Opposite for me - I do so many things that I don’t strongly identify with any single one. Get a tattoo?? Nah, I’ll probably be bored of the subject in a few months!

  • PixelProf@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    I’ll say, one thing that helped me here was starting to see the “depth in the breadth”, so to speak, and recognizing this jumping around for what it was. A lot of novelty seeking and bouncing between hobbies to avoid conscious regulating, which was tiring.

    Now, in things that I consider important, I try to find the novelty and breadth that comes with sticking to it for a long time - stare at a hobby / occupation long enough to see the big world inside of it and realize it’s more than you can take in and take time to put up some blinders so you can hone in there and see it as lots of cool novel things within a smaller space.

    Also, realizing that bouncing around to all kinds of things… well, that’s my form of relaxing. If I’m totally depleted, chances are what I need isn’t to sit in one place and “rest”, or to focus on one thing, it’s to schedule time to completely not focus on one thing and allow myself to bounce all over the place and do whatever feels good (within responsible limits). It’s usually a chaotic mess that amounts to no long-term benefit, but it’s much more resting that trying to relax. Trying was the problem, after all.