People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life
Doesn’t matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.
Work on diagnosing and fixing the problem first, worry about appointing blame later (if at all).
This one is very important. This is one of those helpful rules I’ve actually learned in business environment first before I started applying it in personal life.
There exists a problem. Problem requires a solution. Solution requires diagnosing problem and using reasoning to solve craft solution.
Assigning blame (root cause analysis) can wait. First, fix problem. Then analyze how/why problem happened and implement corrective and preventative actions.
A company I used to work for actually had a policy of never to assign root cause as “Human error”. Individuals actually never got blamed. Instead, it was perhaps that there wasn’t enough training, or certain procedures were lacking which could’ve prevented the problem, etc.
One time someone had accidentally broke an $8 million dollar piece of equipment. They were never fired, or reprimanded at all. Instead, the investigation assigned root cause to lack of adequate safety procedures, or something like that. Therefore actions are taken to help prevent recurrence instead of just saying “They did it! Fire them!!”
They were a great company to work for because of this.