Sure! I mean, we’re doing it right now, right? ;)

Or do you mean exclusively in person?

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t get out much (health issues) but when I do, I don’t LIKE talking to people, but I do, because it takes so little effort to make someone feel better about their day.

It also helps that pretty much everyone here has a tattoo and that’s a good icebreaker.

“Wow, nice ink! How long have you had it?”

Yes I can. No I don’t do it often.

I have ADHD, and struggle to remember small details or infer the same things other people do from dialogue. This means that outside of structured discussions, I struggle to maintain a conversation that interests others most of the time. My friends are the ones who don’t make an issue of my shift between a lack of engagement or intense engagement and my completely forgetting things that other people things are extremely important like remembering names. I have had the same few friends for a couple decades because making new friends is fucking hard.

So when it comes to strangers, I tend to only have conversations a few times a year and almost always when traveling. Basically, if there is no chance of seeing them again and I have an easy out from the conversation I am comfortable starting one. Random people on public transport, in lines at restaurants, people at conferences, etc. Stick to whatever they bring up and try to keep up, consciously avoid dominating the conversation, etc. This all took a lot of practice over decades to become comfortable with and it takes a ton of work so I don’t do it often. The only reason I need to work at it is that most people think the things my brain doesn’t retain are important and that is generally what makes them think I’m not listening or participating. If I never see them again, then it isn’t important if I screw that up!

I am also an excellent presenter, and get tasked with that frequently. I don’t feel stressed in front of crowds because I practiced at it a lot and slowly became comfortable with it. For a lot of people social interaction takes practice and making ‘mistakes’ and learning that they need to adapt and not worry too much about whether the other person is enjoying the conversation, only if they give obvious signs they want to leave the conversation.

Ive heard this kind of stuff happens in my city more than other big cities. Line at the grocery store or such. It is less than it was when I was a kid and young adult though.

I’ll be frank, if you don’t have friends or a partner and you aren’t willing to leave your comfort zone to talk to people then to me it indicates a lack of willingness on your side. Why don’t you want those enough to overcome your faults and just keep at it?

Get a friend to walk you through it.

I really, really dislike social situations that don’t have formal structure to them. Professionally I can talk to strangers no problem, because roles and expectations are set, similarly I can go to a tabletop gaming convention and play games with people and it’s fine.

I struggle in situations where the rules are more nebulous, but I still manage it. It just takes practice. I definitely lean on my husband for that type of thing when I can though.

I used to chat up Uber drivers before the pan. I did it mainly to be friendly and because sometimes there’d be a cool story to learn. Now I’m back to ignoring them and being on my phone.

Very well. The other night was at a fall festival and they had some carnys pushing carts filled with toys and balloons, you know, plastic swords, plastic guns, snaps, stink bombs, and blow up guitars, etc., and they all had a bunch of flags for sale, including, at the very top, a bunch of made in China trump shit.

I saw one carney, who was black, and he did not have trump shit. So when it was time to let the kiddo pick a toy or something, I said he could buy from that carney. And I struck up a convo by offering that it was his lack of Trump shit that got him this sale; an important thing, I think, to tell retailers of this sort. We dapped it up for a second and he was looked at me like, “come the fuck on, obviously there’s no trump shit on my cart.” He said one of the other Carneys told him how much more money he could make, and how he asked the other guy back, “man, are you fucking stupid?” Nice guy.

I’m not good at it, but I’m capable of holding a conversation with say a store clerk or random people in line.

I’ve always been highly introverted. And I struggled with talking to strangers. So, I set myself a goal of getting better at it and started forcing myself to talk with people more. I sucked at it and probably left a lot of people thinking I was some creepy weirdo. But, I got better the more I practiced. I’m still not fantastic at it, but I can generally initiate and maintain a conversation with a random stranger, without coming off too terribly. Like most skills in life, it takes practice and a lot of failure before you can rise to the level of not sucking at it.

gestures to the site we are all using rn

All the time. I don’t know any of you!

Every single day. I am someone who people just really open up to. I don’t know what it is but I have the craziest conversations.

I’m always sitting primed and ready for some random chit chat but I’m too shy to initiate. If you ever see a mid 20s male sitting alone, he more than likely would be more than happy to talk to you or anyone for that matter.

We don’t get alot of attention when not seeked out :/

Yes, lots. And not because I’m an extrovert. It’s a very commonly used life skill and I wouldn’t, for example, be able to do my job without it.

54m here who is neurodivergent.

Yes, I can have a conversation with a stranger, but that was not always the case. It took years of practice to get to the point where I could be in a group or one on one and actually contribute.

The issue is, it takes SO much out of me. Where the people I’m interacting with have nice processing centers in their brains doing the bulk of the work for them in carrying the conversation. The processing centers that deal with social interaction are inactive in my brain and I have to actually think about everything going on. Which is a lot of energy to spend on conversations that really have no actual merit, other than just being social.

Think of it this way, do you remember how much energy you had to expend thinking on the last difficult test you took at school? That’s how I feel after social interactions. Because I have to do virtually the same amount of thinking in that setting, that most people use on a Physics exam.

Even with my wife and kids, I have to take breaks from them. While the years have given me habits and known behaviors that I don’t have to think about with them and keep our relationships healthy. I still have to do a lot of active processing to interact with them.

It sucks, but it is the way I am and always will be.