My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
You must log in or register to comment.
Why are chickens so cool?
B’caws
Knock knock
Owls
Owls whoo
Yes they do
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
Is your refrigerator running? Yes? Better go catch it!
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Do they not sell kids joke books in the check out line at the grocery store anymore? Used to be tons of those.
There’s no room at the ubiquitous self checkouts, and smartphones have made printed media more novelty than EDC.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
What is blue but doesn’t weigh very much? Light blue
So good
One joke that both my kids loved at that age goes as follows:
There’s this farmer who sits with his dog on a horse-drawn cart. Suddenly, the horse turns its head and says “Beautiful weather, boss!”. Obviously, the farmer is stunned. Then the dog nudges him and says: “Huh that’s funny. That horse just talked.”.
I’ll definitely be teaching this one to her. Even if only to see how badly she garbles telling it back!
I would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Be careful you’re not getting something written by AI that is not just terrible, but completely inappropriate. A human author could also do that, but…
Funny thing about this on is that my wife actually ghost wrote it. A few of the jokes in it are my creation.
We don’t get money from the sales. We just think it’s cool that it’s out in the world.
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
It helped me out
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
shouldn’t that be a fly with no wings ?
Love the deer ones lol
Yes!! I said it wrong _’
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I’m lookin for the man who shot my paw
While I like this one. Unfortunately, I suspect it will get a blank, confused look. We’ve managed to almost completely avoid guns etc.
Where does the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aww don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s There?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could Yodel!
What has five toes and is not your foot?
My foot!
That one should definitely get a groan out of her teacher!
From: plutopiaworld
