I have a couple times. The last time was a couple years ago with someone I met online who I was getting to know but didn’t like after the first date. They asked if I felt like watching some movie and I didn’t respond and they didn’t follow up. Tbh, I probably would’ve answered if they had sent a second text. I guess I avoided telling them the truth but it stuck with me like a pebble in my shoe and I feel bad thinking about it.
Only online. As soon as someone starts being pedantic in the comments and then argues about how they aren’t missing the point, I’m out. Not worth spending more time on.
I love engaging with pedants like that. It infuriates them as I agree with all their overly-narrow points but then show how they don’t support their conclusion. They don’t really know what to do so they just keep reiterating the same irrelevant points over and over in slightly different ways. Sometimes the back and forth would go on for days when I was on reddit.
It’s my way of having fun and paying penance for my past pedantry at the same time.
I am a ghost.
I’m extremely introverted and non-confrontational, so if a situation is too unpleasant or stressful, I vanish. It’s what I’ve pretty much always done. I have no idea how many times I’ve had someone say to me, " Hey - what happened to you? I just looked around and you were gone."
It’s sort of a trap. A lot of it is that, in addition to being introverted and generally non-confrontational, I’m hyper aware of people’s emotions, so if I expect that they’re going to be angry or hurt, I especially don’t want to deal with it. But of course, then I introduce the chance that they’re going to be angry or hurt because I “ghosted” them (or as it was most commonly known before the social media era, I “blew them off”). And yes - I feel bad about that.
All in all though, it’s still generally less unpleasant than the alternatives.
I try not to ghost people. I don’t like being ghosted myself, so I want to avoid feeling like a hypocrite. But I typically get ghosted anyway. It’s frustrating, and depressing. If I’m giving off the wrong vibe, I’d like to know so I can correct it. But instead I’m left wondering what it could be and I have a bad habit of overthinking everything to begin with.
The last time I was ghosted was a couple weeks ago. I thought things were going well, but then she just stopped responding. I broke character and reached out one more time, but still got nothing. It sucks. Thought we had a connection.
🤷♂️ I miss the old days of dating.
If I’m giving off the wrong vibe, I’d like to know so I can correct it.
Even if you’re not ghosted, you’re very unlikely to get this information. Usually it’s just that they’re not interested and not the why behind it. And begging for the why is typically not productive. The only thing not ghosting gets you is knowing it’s a deliberate choice and not that they, like, broke their phone for weeks or fell into a coma or something else unlikely that prevented them talking to you.
I usually do if the feeling is mutual. Like, if I am always the one reaching out, I’ll eventually stop, and usually they don’t even notice.
Yes. I’ve once ghosted a close friend of mine, because I had difficult health conditions and needed a break from school (that’s where we met). I didn’t want any human contact, so I just isolated myself and changed my phone number. It was unfair towards her, because she was a really likable person, but I just couldn’t handle any human contact at the time. I regret not telling her.
There’s a whole half of my family I don’t talk to anymore.
I’ve got a great story about this one, but I will have to write it up in a couple of hours.
I do too. Mine involves a Russian agent in the US. I plan to use real names and dox him. It will certainly take time to type up.
Yeah. I fell pretty shitty about it to be fair.
I’d been going out with this girl for a couple months. We’d been getting on great. I was really struggling with keeping a handle on my alcoholism at the time and did something embarrassing one evening. Also lost my phone that night. I woke up with the shames, got a new phone number and never spoke to her again.
In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have been dating if my anxiety was going to let me toss what could have been a good thing because I couldn’t have a conversation the next day.
I’m ADHD. I think I may have ghosted people. I wouldn’t know.
If you’re not a huge part of my life, and you don’t chase me a couple times, I may just forget you exist.
Yep AuDHD here with RSD. I just always assume people aren’t interested in connecting with me. Even though it’s not always true. But if someone doesn’t make any effort to keep in touch, I assume they aren’t interested and they are no longer at the front of my mind. Keeps me from being hurt when it happens for real. But it’s not intentional. I’ve just been rejected too many times due to my undiagnosed AuDHD.
Same, but for me a lot of it has to do with ADHD-induced anxiety. It’s not always that I forgot you exist; but simply that it’s been too long now, so it would be weird and awkward if I tried to re-enter your life again. So it’s best to just stay away.
I’ve ghosted every job I’ve held (except one) for the same reason: can’t deal with the anxiety of putting in my two weeks, so when I’m done with a job I just silently walk away without saying a thing to anyone and never come back.
The awkward time is very real. Is it strange if I say hello? Is it strange if I don’t? If I do nothing, then it’s future me’s problem.
Not intentionally and I don’t consider it ghosting if you just forgot. People get busy and either side can follow up later.
Took her on a first date, she couldn’t stop looking at her phone. Went back home, checked if she arrived safe, and never said a word after that.
👍
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After my divorce, I had a random friend tell me that they were bummed about my divorce because they (him and his wife) had wanted to swing with us. Gave me the ick. I was SAd when I was a kid, and so people expressing interest in me is like a train crossing signal at night, big red blinking light with loud bells, all I can foresee is what terrible things they’re capable of if given the opportunity.
Then him and his wife got divorced, and he started texting me, calling me, emailing me, like he couldn’t believe I didn’t want to hook up with him. ghosted him HARD. I felt bad about it initially, but after he kept texting/calling/emailing for weeks, I was moreso relieved that I never gave him any more of my time/effort.
I had an abusive family member. Whenever they wanted to start fights I would stay quiet. It got to the point of them insulting me every chance they got. I ghosted them for almost 3 years now. Just finally moved out of that house. My wife and I are living in our car, but we are free from abuse and that’s all that matters. That family member truly had a hold on us as slaves. So finding an escape was incredible.
Glad you escaped and i hope you two find a new home quick.
Abusive family members are hard to deal with.
Thanks! We will soon own land and live in an RV. Gotta start somewhere. We are excited for so many new things, new city, new history, new stores, new people.
Best of luck to you guys!
Thanks!
Kinda. I got ghosted for about 6mo from a friend, just out of the blue. Met back up with them through happenstance and we decided to talk about what happened. A bunch of no responsibility and excuse later, I acted like I was down to hang again, and just didn’t. Decided this shit wasn’t worth my energy or effort.
