I have a couple times. The last time was a couple years ago with someone I met online who I was getting to know but didn’t like after the first date. They asked if I felt like watching some movie and I didn’t respond and they didn’t follow up. Tbh, I probably would’ve answered if they had sent a second text. I guess I avoided telling them the truth but it stuck with me like a pebble in my shoe and I feel bad thinking about it.

  • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    Only online. As soon as someone starts being pedantic in the comments and then argues about how they aren’t missing the point, I’m out. Not worth spending more time on.

    • zagaberoo@sopuli.xyz
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      13 hours ago

      I love engaging with pedants like that. It infuriates them as I agree with all their overly-narrow points but then show how they don’t support their conclusion. They don’t really know what to do so they just keep reiterating the same irrelevant points over and over in slightly different ways. Sometimes the back and forth would go on for days when I was on reddit.

      It’s my way of having fun and paying penance for my past pedantry at the same time.

  • WatDabney@fedia.io
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    13 hours ago

    I am a ghost.

    I’m extremely introverted and non-confrontational, so if a situation is too unpleasant or stressful, I vanish. It’s what I’ve pretty much always done. I have no idea how many times I’ve had someone say to me, " Hey - what happened to you? I just looked around and you were gone."

    It’s sort of a trap. A lot of it is that, in addition to being introverted and generally non-confrontational, I’m hyper aware of people’s emotions, so if I expect that they’re going to be angry or hurt, I especially don’t want to deal with it. But of course, then I introduce the chance that they’re going to be angry or hurt because I “ghosted” them (or as it was most commonly known before the social media era, I “blew them off”). And yes - I feel bad about that.

    All in all though, it’s still generally less unpleasant than the alternatives.

  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    I try not to ghost people. I don’t like being ghosted myself, so I want to avoid feeling like a hypocrite. But I typically get ghosted anyway. It’s frustrating, and depressing. If I’m giving off the wrong vibe, I’d like to know so I can correct it. But instead I’m left wondering what it could be and I have a bad habit of overthinking everything to begin with.

    The last time I was ghosted was a couple weeks ago. I thought things were going well, but then she just stopped responding. I broke character and reached out one more time, but still got nothing. It sucks. Thought we had a connection.

    🤷‍♂️ I miss the old days of dating.

    • candybrie@lemmy.world
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      1 hour ago

      If I’m giving off the wrong vibe, I’d like to know so I can correct it.

      Even if you’re not ghosted, you’re very unlikely to get this information. Usually it’s just that they’re not interested and not the why behind it. And begging for the why is typically not productive. The only thing not ghosting gets you is knowing it’s a deliberate choice and not that they, like, broke their phone for weeks or fell into a coma or something else unlikely that prevented them talking to you.

  • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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    14 hours ago

    I’ve got a great story about this one, but I will have to write it up in a couple of hours.

    • Xaphanos@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      I do too. Mine involves a Russian agent in the US. I plan to use real names and dox him. It will certainly take time to type up.

  • JesusSon@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    I dated a woman for a couple of years. She was cool and I was fond of her but idk we just never really went further than dinner/drinks hook up. We would go through this routine 2-5 nights a week.

    One day I got an 18-month job in another state. I told her I would be home the 2nd weekend of every month to tend to my house and she said she would miss me but at least we would see each other.

    When I left we had an emotional goodbye and she promised to call every day. We stayed in touch and saw each other the 2nd weekend of the month and things were okay. In my 5th month out there, the boss gave me a full week off. It was short notice so I didn’t have a chance to tell the ladyfriend. I just hopped on a flight home.

    I rented a car and drove over to her place. When I got there I had this feeling shit was off, so I walked over to the payphone by the mailboxes and called her. I told her what was up and that I was headed over. As I walked back to the car I watched a dude walk out of her apartment as she followed. He turned and kissed her like he had been at sea for a year.

    I got in the car and drove home. I dropped off my shit and hit the bar. I got tight as fuck and ended up going home with a waitress. The next day hung over like a mother fucker I rented my place to another friend and hopped back on a flight and spent my time off exploring my new city.

    Never talked to her again. I don’t have Facebook or any of that shit and I have changed phone numbers a couple of times since then. A mutual friend said she told everyone she broke up with me because we could do the LDR thing lol oh well.

  • Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    I had an abusive family member. Whenever they wanted to start fights I would stay quiet. It got to the point of them insulting me every chance they got. I ghosted them for almost 3 years now. Just finally moved out of that house. My wife and I are living in our car, but we are free from abuse and that’s all that matters. That family member truly had a hold on us as slaves. So finding an escape was incredible.

  • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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    10 hours ago

    Kinda. I got ghosted for about 6mo from a friend, just out of the blue. Met back up with them through happenstance and we decided to talk about what happened. A bunch of no responsibility and excuse later, I acted like I was down to hang again, and just didn’t. Decided this shit wasn’t worth my energy or effort.

  • LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net
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    13 hours ago

    No. I think it’s a pretty shitty thing to do unless you had a reason to feel unsafe, which I personally never have.

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
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    10 hours ago

    Yeah. After a mediocre first date where he showed signs of a quick temper. We had no friends in common, no overlap in any social circles. I really did not want to deal with his likely negative response to me telling him I didn’t want to continue talking to him, so I didn’t. His second text after I didn’t respond to his first within ten minutes told me I was correct.

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    15 hours ago

    Tbh, I probably would’ve answered if they had sent a second text

    why would you think that you would have changed your stance when the first date already set off rejection in you?

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 hours ago

      It wouldn’t have changed my stance. A follow-up message would’ve pressured me to let them down easy seeing they were still interested, but their silence felt indifferent.

    • Tiptopit@feddit.org
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      15 hours ago

      I read that more as answering and communicating the disinterest instead of ghosting them.

  • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com
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    15 hours ago

    Just did my former friends earlier this year.

    Life is life. Gets crazy and we don’t work together anymore so we don’t get much time to hang out.

    He blew up on me about me never reaching out but like when? And I apologized and said I would try to make a better effort to reach out.

    After about an hour, he never texted me back and I realized that the last message sent before he blew up on me was me reaching out to him a few weeks prior and he never responded! So like wtf dude.

    So then he or his wife said something and I never responded and they texted me a few times for a few days after but I never replied, let alone read the messages.

    I was already on the edge about them anyway. They had a problem with everyone. Everyone eventually had a problem with them and it makes me feel like they’re likely the problem people in their various situations. They were very strict about things and it just never felt right with me.

    I gave them my car that I was no longer using and they were super appreciative which is how we became friends, but I honestly was just trying to be nice. I wasn’t really looking for friends.

    Idk. I feel bad about it sometimes but I also feel like it was long overdue for us to no longer be friends anymore.

  • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
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    14 hours ago

    Plenty people. For stuff like

    • insisting on a subject after I clearly said “I don’t want to talk about this”
    • throwing a tantrum against me for something that is clearly not my fault
    • sending me multiple messages sequentially, containing nothing of value
    • trying to proselytise their stupid superstition, whichever it may be
    • bossing me around with uncalled advice, after I said to drop it

    And I don’t feel bad for ghosting any of those. At all.

    • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
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      12 hours ago

      Sometimes ghosting is for people who value their own peace of mind, who predict that saying “sorry, I don’t want to be contacted further” will either cause drama or be ignored.