Reading the other thread you cross-posted from and being a nurse myself, I agree with the other comments and answers found in the original thread.

You don’t have to like the answer but people generally are asking not to be prying but to be social with you and involving you to be inclusive, whether or not you are neurotypical. That is nice of your peers and honestly, practicing these behaviors for your patients too would help with your job. You are encountering individuals at their lowest: when they are most vulnerable, in pain, in discomfort, stressed, anxious, alone, etc. Part of the patient healing process is support and connection with their healthcare team, which would include you. Patients may do the same thing, ask you questions similar to those of your peers to get to know you or form a connection.

For your peers, you can disclose you are not neurotypical to increase understanding and let them know you are having issues with socialization but there should be some efforts to work with your team as well as with your patients. Healthcare especially in an acute setting as your answers so far has implied is a super social job and if not being social is your thing, there are other positions in healthcare that are not as social in nursing: utilization review, MDS RN, transfer center nurse, picc line vs wound care nurse just for specific tasks, etc.

I’m friendly and charming, and read body language cues competently to help me navigate social interactions. You can usually tell when someone is shy, semi non-verbal and/or on the spectrum and I just limit my interactions with them not to overload them (they’re already feeling a lot just by being around people, making them feel like they “have to” interact with me would be cruel, I don’t want them to short circuit!).

You also have to change your expectations of “normal human socializing” with these people: basically, as long as they’re not overtly rude, they’re okay in my book. They’re not like regular folks who won’t talk because they have something against you personally, they just don’t do that in general (besides with their “favourite person” and online, as people here are just lines of text), and that’s something I’ve learned to keep in mind. So just give them space, nod and smile, and it’s all good in the world. 👍

Being para-social at workplace is part of the job. We are primates establishing group dynamics after all. Others monkeys need to know if you fit into their Dunbar’s number or if you’re a shit-tosser.

I tend to give short answers without elaboration. ”Where do you live?” Gets one word reply. ”Where did you grow up?” One word. The rest of the time, be silent and don’t engage. Silence works.

Being introverted is fine, but you might havewto accept that others are not. For them parasocial relationships are as important as being alone is for you.

You can, learn to drive different behaviour for a while. I am very introverted myself, but I don’t present myself as one at work, purely because my work requires me to be outward focused public speaker. This takes a LOT of energy so I also need to find recharge time and ”be myself”, but I do that outside work.

Of course it would be ideal if everyone else was just as introverted as I am, but over the years I’ve come to the conclusion it’s easier to adopt a ”work behaviour” than expect everyone to adapt to my level.

I don’t understand the question. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anyone asking me prying questions for 30 minutes, at least as an attempt to be social. What’s an example of such a question? If it’s at work, how can you even get away from your desk for 30 minutes? Just say you have to get back to what you were doing.

• help them when they have questions

• cover their section when they use the bathroom or take a break

• warn them that the manager is incoming if they’re on their phone

• tell them they’re pretty / compliment their outfit / notice if they change their hairstyle

• remember their preferred name / nickname / pronouns

This is on top of a base level of respectful behavior, such as:

• treating them as equals

• going to someone directly if there’s a problem with their behavior, and only elevating it to mgmt if they won’t change or compromise

• not stealing from them (shifts, customers, sections, cash)

• not interrupting when they are talking

As to your issue with prying questions, I’ve found a simple “I’m not comfortable talking about that at work” usually does the trick. Or if you want to have fun with it, an outrageous lie can also work, eg.

℣: “Where did you grow up?”
℟: “I’m actually a time-traveller from the distant future, but now that my mission was successful and Herman de la Rosa has been assassinated, my hometown will never exist.” Edit: … and then say “It’s a very painful subject,” and walk away quickly.

Up to you.

i think being generally rude and just kind of a removed will eventually make people learn not to interact with you in any way outside of work related stuff.

Im an old therapist and I always recommend the power of silence.

I’m not nice to my co-workers. I am courteous, professional and set boundaries.

If someone asks me a private question about my life, family, children or anything I consider personal. I just remain silent.

Silence is simple. It take no brain power, whereas trying to think of ways to deflect questions will be stressful.

It is not written in stone that I have to answer questions. Silence is a powerful tool.

I never get into justifying to anyone why I do not want to share my personal stuff. Its personal for a reason.

State that you don’t like prying questions. tell them you don’t like to talk about yourself. If they asked those types of questions for the second time remind them. if they asked those types of questions for the third time remind them with a stronger tone. and if they asked those questions for the forth time give them a cold look of silence. they may be offended in short term. but in the long you will have more respect.