I’ve pretty much hit rock bottom and come to the conclusion that I can’t stay on my current trajectory. It’s already cost me one, if not two, relationships, and I’m tired of dating on hard mode. I’m worried I might be too far gone, so it would be immensely helpful to hear from someone who’s been in the same place and managed to turn things around.
I can manage a week or two with the power of self loathing but once the urges come back I’m really, and I mean really good at coming up with excuses.
I think it may be easier to do if you mentally frame it as something you’re putting away until you’re in a place to be responsible with it. When you feel you may be ready for it again imagine what responsible use would look like, maybe only when you want sex but its infeasable (partner or you are tired, date went poorly, etc).
You may want to do similarly with weed.
Giving up something you like permanently sucks, its why so often people keep drinking until they absolutely have to quit, when if a few years earlier they’d taken a few months off and set some rules for themselves before starting again they may be able to keep doing it.
Also as you’re learning to deal with boredom and emotions look up some dbt or cbt resources they help control your emotions by being aware of them and by learning distress tolerance