I see a lot of people saying it’s “okay” to be a virgin at 22, or if you’re 22 and have never been in a relationship, it’s “okay.” But it really isn’t. Most people lose their virginity when they’re teens, and most people get into their first relationships in high school. So if there’s a 22-year-old out there who’s still single, never been in a relationship, and is a virgin, they’re an outlier. They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about. It’s like never getting your driver’s license until you’re 21 or something. But it’s okay to feel bad and shameful—this can motivate you to make better decisions in life.
Life isn’t a race, my guy. How quickly you reach external milestones (like a driver’s license or losing your virginity) is way less important than acquiring emotional intelligence and maturity. Those are the qualities that are actually valued in healthy adult relationships. Feeling ashamed for not having a relationship by a certain age is self defeating and can lead you into unhealthy thoughts patterns which can easily turn into becoming a victim of bad actors.
My question for you is how did you come to this conclusion? 22 is a pretty specific (and honestly young) age to throw out there randomly; are you 22 and angsting about not having a relationship? If so that’s valid, but you need cut yourself some slack and also not try to transfer your own shame onto others. You just have some growing up to do, start by loving yourself (not like that), and accepting yourself for who you are. If you can’t love you why would you expect anyone else to?