I see a lot of people saying it’s “okay” to be a virgin at 22, or if you’re 22 and have never been in a relationship, it’s “okay.” But it really isn’t. Most people lose their virginity when they’re teens, and most people get into their first relationships in high school. So if there’s a 22-year-old out there who’s still single, never been in a relationship, and is a virgin, they’re an outlier. They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about. It’s like never getting your driver’s license until you’re 21 or something. But it’s okay to feel bad and shameful—this can motivate you to make better decisions in life.
I reject your notion that it’s shameful to be an outlier.
On a completely different topic, everyone is going nuts for the new Taylor Swift album. The Weather Channel even reviewed it. The fucking weather channel. Oh, you think I’m kidding? I would too. Here, look: https://weather.com/news/weather/news/2025-10-06-taylor-swift-life-of-a-showgirl-opalite
Anyway, while I do plan on listening to the Taylor Swift album (I subscribe to Apple Music, so it will cost me nothing extra but ~41 minutes of my time), I’m way more excited about the ReoNa album, “Heart,” dropping today. Or because Japan is like 12 hours ahead of us, it’s probably already out. She’s my second favourite singer right now, behind Enya, who is fairly popular, at least as far as New Age-adjacent performers go (it’s a label she does not agree with, but that’s how people know her), but still seems to be an outlier. She does not do concerts. She hasn’t done an album in 10 years. She literally lives in a castle with modern security systems with her cats. She doesn’t date (has before, doesn’t care for it) and has no children. She’s most likely aroace, though music is her romance, it’s kind of weird saying she may be aromantic. But toward people, definitely. She has a few close friends and some family but no romantic connections to speak of. And she makes music that makes you feel like it’s straight from Heaven. Even if you’re not religious. It sounds straight up otherworldly.
I have no shame in being an outlier, and it’s not just music. Maybe OP thinks everyone should be the same. I’ve never had much interest in that.
Life isn’t a race, my guy. How quickly you reach external milestones (like a driver’s license or losing your virginity) is way less important than acquiring emotional intelligence and maturity. Those are the qualities that are actually valued in healthy adult relationships. Feeling ashamed for not having a relationship by a certain age is self defeating and can lead you into unhealthy thoughts patterns which can easily turn into becoming a victim of bad actors.
My question for you is how did you come to this conclusion? 22 is a pretty specific (and honestly young) age to throw out there randomly; are you 22 and angsting about not having a relationship? If so that’s valid, but you need cut yourself some slack and also not try to transfer your own shame onto others. You just have some growing up to do, start by loving yourself (not like that), and accepting yourself for who you are. If you can’t love you why would you expect anyone else to?
They’re an anomaly, and it is something to feel bad and shameful about.
Do you have any evidence, at all, that links these two points?
I am a 35-year old virgin. And I am probably going to die lonely and virgin. I didn’t ask to be brought up as a mentally fucked up dude, who is so scared of rejection that it is much better to not try at all.
Your ‘shower thought’ lacks basic empathy and understanding about people. But, then again, most people do.
I began my first relationship around 21. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I also was happily married before turning 30. There’s no shame in being a little late, but it may be a sign of something you need to work on. Git gud as it were.
Do better
I’m blocking you.
You should’ve been moderated already, for spamming the comm with stuff that has to be against Rule 1 (All posts must be shower thoughts).
This post was just a negative, discriminatory opinion. This kid needs a temporary ban at least.
The reason I didn’t enjoy sex in my teens/20s as much as I do in my 30s was mainly because of the social pressure about it that made me anxious all the time.
So screw this mentality for spoiling my early experiences.No dude you are misinformed
It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude, but writing this sort of thing will 100% not getting you any fuck.
It’s okay to be virgin at 25 dude
No, it isn’t. Like I said, most people love their virginity before that age. If you are a 25-year-old man who’s a virgin, no woman who’s 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 or 31 years old will want to date you because they don’t want to date a virgin, and that goes for most adult men and women who have sexual experience.
It sounds like a projection but okay 🤷
I was too dysphoric as a teenager to even think about being naked around another person.
Didn’t get my DL until I was 18. Didn’t have sex until I was 22. Best friend was a virgin when he got married at 30. Everyone is different. Everyone’s experience is different. You shouldn’t feel bad. Just do you.
Why are you so concerned with who fucks whom? you’re saying that shame could be a good motivator for someone to fuck someone they otherwise wouldn’t. Touch grass.
You should watch less movies
I guess I should be very ashamed of myself then. I got my license at 21. I’m now 22 and still a virgin. I’ve known for a long time that I move slower than others and I really don’t care. Like genuinely why do some people think having sex at a young age is like the most important thing ever?? Like why do you even care?
At 31, would I be happy to learn a potential partner my age is a Virgin? No. Would I be put off with a “I took my time and wasn’t prioritizing it over other things that mattered”? Also no.
The real turn off is a virgin who’s pissed about it, bitter about it, or well into adulthood and very focused on it. I’m not even saying nobody wants those people but as someone who’s been around the block a few times, is happily married and practices casual nonmonogamy I see people like that the same as I see people feeling similar ways about their other reasons for not getting laid.
