Just to watch confused looks on customers faces.
“Our soup of the day is Chunky chicken noodle. Be careful. It’s very hot, and also very wet. You won’t be able to use a fork and knife on this soup. You’ll need a spoon for sure! Did you bring your favorite spoon? No? I’ll get you a spoon. It is a very basic spoon. Just made of metal. No gps navigation on this one though I’m afraid. You will have to navigate to your mouth manually.”
And just watch as their faces try to hold a poker face of normality. They don’t want to be rude, but also, this waiter is insane.
I was a grumpy waitress for a year. I was bluntly honest when particularly grumpy.
Customer: What do you recommend?
Grumpy waitress: I dunno, I don’t eat any of this shit. Do you think I’d look this good if I ate shit like this? But everyone who eats here loves everything we serve. It’s all good for those who like this type of food.
Dude worked at McDonald’s Steak House.