Being able to hear from afar
But only bad music.
True Omnipotence
(Also read/listen to Worm
You have no choice but to see everything, wether you want to or not.
But only over dial-up.
But of an unrelated universe…so schizophrenia with delusions of grandure lol
Can communicate with any animal
But they can’t communicate with you
Haha imagine trying to explain that to people.
“I have a superpower, I can speak to animals they just can’t speak back”
“But everyone has that superpower, I can do that too”
“Yeh but I’m actually really talking to them, like in their language that they can understand”
“How do you know?”
“…”
I mean, you can ask an animal to do some arbitrary action specified by the other person, and then the animal (hopefully) does it. This side effect isn’t great, but it definitely still leaves some real usefulness.
Telling my dog as I go to the garage, “I’ll be back in literally one minute.” and being understood would rock.
But the thing is, if they do the thing you asked in a way where it’s noticeable that they only did it because you asked, then they are signalling to you that they understood, which is a form of communication and the word used was “communicate” with animals.
First, the use of “communicate” in the original superpower description is presumably referring to communication that couldn’t happen without the power - and the side effect uses the same term. As it stands, my dog can tell me she understands I intend to walk her by jumping off the back of the couch and being excited at the door.
So if the superpower only refers to novel communication, I’d interpret that to mean anything more than I could reasonably communicate to my dog, and more than she could communicate to me (confirmation of understanding).
If the side effect, despite using the same verb, actually renders animals LESS able to communicate with me than they already can, that seems an especially uncharitable interpretation.
Alternatively, I can ask the animal to wait until I was out of the room before performing the action for the third party. At that point, only that third party would end up communicating having seen the comprehension/performance.
Well thought out lol. You should get a genie, I think you’ll be prepared.
I appreciate the sentiment, but probably not. The genie would just scoff af my argument and say nothing was guaranteed to be “fair” about the situation. My only saving grace in talking about it here is that fellow humans are more likely to share a similar base point for reasoning.
I can teleport instantly to any location I have previously visited.
But each location has a specific song you must play on an Ocarina…
Do I know the song automatically? Or like, do I have to defeat someone in single combat to get to learn the song?
“Oh, and a chocolate croissant, please, thanks! … and uh, I’m so incredibly sorry about last time,”
Thankfully my people know how big a nerd I am, so I actually have been gifted an ocarina. I’m ready. Now, what’s the song for my doctor’s office, again?
You don’t get to choose the location, it’s just a random place you’ve been before.
The United States of America after the Cold War.
But you live in Afghanistan
Ability to control every atom in the surrounding area of approx 1 km.
You can control only 1 at a time.
Nuclear bombs, or a really good scientist.
1 at a time wouldn’t get you a noticeable amount of energy for a bomb (stuff is radioactively decaying around you already right now). A scientist might make some use of it, but with control of only 1 atom at a time they’ll struggle to build really any molecule as I imagine most intermediate molecules would break apart as soon as you “let go” to grab the next atom.
Depends on what “time” is in case of one at a time. Is it plank time, or is it as fast as I can think the command.
Even if nothing can be achieved by controlling it, just being able to feel/see the atoms means I can figure things out as a scientist. Finding how atoms are arranged into molecules, proteins etc are super helpful
I assumed as fast as you can think the command for each one.
I agree with feeling being useful for feeling around; I’m happy with the power having some value.
Immunity from all replies to this post.
But you are incredibly smart. BOOM GOTEM.
You end up with no superpowers at all
Hmm, but are they immune to this restriction?
Teleportation
But you lose one of your socks every time you teleport and they’re like really cool unique ones that only work as a pair. Heartbreaking.
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Really depends on the butt
Switch sexes any time I prefer
… provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Depending on the person, this might be a bonus.
Seems like a small payment honestly
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules
Reading minds
But you have to start at the beginning.
You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Terribly loud non-stop belching
So no new drawbacks, then? Sweet!
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
Just make sure you pee first!
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
You wake up with a severe headache.
This is apparently my superpower and side effect combo.
The ability to change my own superpower.
This one doesn’t really need a monkey’s paw curse since, as written, I’d argue you could only change it once anyway, then you’d be stuck with that power.
Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.
crab claw
Only when jorkin it
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
