This question popped up in my mind. Also, my boyfriend’s last relationship was with a girl who did this.

  • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    Not pretended, but when I was dating, I’d say yes to a first date with anyone who seemed vaguely compatible. I’d try to make some chemistry happen. It didn’t.

      • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Nope. I thought maybe I could find chemistry with people if I got to know them better, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. At least for me.

        • dingus@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Wow are you me??? Do you identify as asexual? How have you navigated things this way? It’s for me…humans are social animals, right? So I have a very deep need for connection and intimacy…just not of the sexual or romantic kind. So it’s a struggle to be in such a fringe group of seemingly contrasting needs that aren’t compatible with 99% of the world.

          • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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            10 hours ago

            Sorry - I don’t think I worded that well. I’d try dates with folks who I didn’t feel chemistry. When I say chemistry, I mean social - not sexual. There are a handful of people that I click with socially, and then the vast majority that I don’t.

            I ended up marrying one of the few people I do click with socially.

            I’ve never really considered sexual chemistry before. In my experience, sex is an activity like many others: you need to practice to make it work; when you’re doing it with someone else, there’s a learning curve to get it right for both of you; and sometimes one or both of you don’t get it right, so it kinda sucks.

            Asexual is a tag that came around long after I’d left the dating pool. I’m not really familiar with what it means.