Private Investigator results. Divine conception sounds sus.
I brought a nicely written certificate saying their Christmas present was that a donation had been made in their name. None of them could read. It didn’t go over well.
deleted by creator
A mother***king MERRY CHRYSLER
The means to properly document Jesus’ existence so that we had even one shred of actual evidence that any of this stuff happened.
Fentanyl.
Oh, thank god it wasn’t Tylenol.
Glock w a switch
A pack of disposable diapers. They understandably looked at me weird because they hadn’t been invented yet.
One of those string pull animal sound thingies where the cow goes “moo” and the lamb goes “baa” and Judas goes “he’s over there man”.
Diapers. I brought something that new parents actually need, but the story tellers thought it was boring.
I didn’t shit the whole journey, then crapped it all out in his crib. You won’t hear about it in the Bible, but the Bible carries on the spirit of the gift: a bunch of shit.
Wait Wait, so without you, it would have been worse?
Sometimes, in secret, the priests share a cup.
it’s not what i brought, it’s how badly i destroyed their toilet on his first birthday party.
One of those I support single moms stripper t-shirts
A paternity test
Congratulations turns out your half roman!
My half Roman what?
That’s more like 3/4 roman
The Bubba photos.
