For me having an official diagnosis first gave me words to research what was wrong with me since I had no clue.
Second, after thorough research it made me give myself permission to work with me and not against me - I wasn’t lazy or anything, I just genuinely was disabled. Having a diagnosis was my shield when someone called me that, and it was so fucking necessary as a late-diagnosef woman. Especially when it came to family to get them off my back.
In my case no medication, but the internal permission to cut myself some slack and figure out in what weird ways my brain works.
I’m curious, why is it so important for some people to get a diagnosis? Does it unlock access to medication or treatment that they want? Or is it just the knowing?
I’m fairly certain I’m Autistic, and I’ve had two unrelated doctors (not qualified to make the assessment) accidentally assume that I knew and had already been diagnosed, but I’ve never had a formal diagnosis. I’m not really too fussed about getting one, because it wouldn’t really change the way I live my life.
In the case of ADHD at least, it comes with a lifetime of being told that you’re not trying hard enough, that you could do so much more if you just applied yourself, that it’s your fault that you’re distracted etc. And after a lifetime of internalising those sorts of comments, many folk find relief in knowing that actually, there’s a reason for all of it, and it’s not just that they’re lazy.
I lost count of how many times I was told I “wasn’t trying hard enough” or was “lazy” or was a “SpAcE cAdEt”.
When you’re repeatedly told things like that as a kid, you start to believe them. Getting a diagnoses was vindicating because it meant all those people were dead wrong.
Broadly speaking, ADHD steals your ability to choose what you want to do, how you want to feel, etc. by taking away your ability to execute on those desires. Getting medicated didn’t magically fix everything but for the most part, it gave me back the power of choice.
It felt that way for me, and you start to live with a lot less stress after that.
Ironically, it was pretty much the opposite of my experience. My diagnosis was the first time I’ve ever felt fundamentally broken in a way that can’t be fixed, because I’d spent my life believing that if I got serious about it, I could do the things. It made me realise that it doesn’t matter how serious I get, it’s not going away.
But with time, even though that’s still true, the scale to which I was catastrophying it was over blown.
Sorry to hear that, for me accepting the fact that those expectations are not real has helped a lot. But still it feels awful!
I had a similar experience when I got diagnosed, wound up drinking quite heavily for a while immediately after it.
For me or was definitely about the medication.
The diagnosis did give me some vindication, but I wish so dearly that I was diagnosed and treated a long time ago.
It sounds so dumb and fake when I say it, but I now have the ability to actually do what I know I need to do.
It is not perfect, and there are some side effects, but if I had this ability 30 years ago, I would have avoided so many problems.
That being said, they don’t let you take Adderall in the Navy and I loved so much about my time there.
But to give you context. I am 50 years old now. I am a pretty smart guy. It still took me 9 years to finish my EE degree. I landed a fantastic job at an engineering firm but was flailing, trying to make my deliverables. I was almost fired.
Then I was diagnosed, got meds, and suddenly I can actually work through the day without issues. I still struggle here and there, but it is nothing like it was before. I am doing well at my job now and don’t have nearly as much negative stress in my life.
The main drawback I have is the increased heart rate and BP. Its not great at my age. Not dangerous, but not great. So I don’t take it on the weekends and sometimes not during the week either.
Access to meds. Without it, there’s no legal way to get it
I think for some it’s access to medication, but my husband is also undiagnosed but everyone assumes he is.
When he was young he went to go see a psychiatrist because he always felt different, and the guy said look, you might have something, you might not, but you are successful and doing all the things you need and want to do, so what does a diagnosis give you? Husband thought about it and decided not to go for a full diagnosis, but he is almost certainly autistic.
