Hear me out:
The only, absolutely only reason why people don’t generally marry on the first date is to figure out whether they DON’T fit together.
So if you manage to figure out that the relationship is not going to work out before you get into real commitments (kids, mortgage, …) you successfully avoided trouble.
I see it so often that people think that dating is already a strong commitment and that ending a dead-end relationship is a failure.
There is no shame in realizing the relationship is going nowhere and ending it.
Relationships taking work wasn’t my point.
My point was staying in a relationship that you really hate to be in because you feel committed even before commitment happened.
I’m specifically talking about the dating phase, not about having been together for 10 years.
I’ve seen it quite a few times that people were like “I really don’t want to marry that man/woman, but I said yes so now I have to.”
That’s why I labeled my addendum as a caveat. I wasn’t addressing your core argument. I was trying to help people who night read it with the wrong perspective get the right ramp to what I think you were saying.
I think it’s just as common right now that young folks get in a relationship and after like 6-18mibths feel bored and think that’s a red flag.