Rose Thorne

Linguine. You’re expecting some strong, has-it-together fettuccine, but instead I’m a plateful that can barely hold it together and is trying to play pretend at being one of the better pastas.

“No, I’m annoyed. But the guy eating my arm? He’s pissed. Meet the Flaming Asshole of Azzazoth.”

I remember my first time finding the ceiling path in the Pyramids in SML1. I just decided to try to see if I could jump up to the ceiling tiles, skip passed the enemies.

It blew my little mind when it worked. I could do that. Where else could I do that‽ The entire game just changed! I lost hours trying to make the stupidest jumps, just to see if I had found another one.

I get fuzzy on anything after Black/White. Hisuian and Alolan regionals would probably be my saving grace after that, I never found the will to finish Sword and have had 0 interest in Scarlet/Violet.

See, you’re looking at it logically.

What you need is a frontal lobe lobotomy so you can happily ignore whatever you please, just like they do.

Millennial, I guess? Dead on early '90, so I think that about fits.

What about Second Death Star?

All those innocent contractors. People just trying to feed their families. You think a Stormtrooper knows the first thing about trying to plumb a toilet?

NYKO were a decent third party, back in the day. Not great, but a step above the competition. Downside, I don’t think they ever really changed their plans that much. I swear I saw PS3 controllers with the “air cool” marketing still on it, just now with RGB through the controller!

Someone else like me!

I’ve always had long fingers, and The Duke was perfect. I remember getting one of the revamped controller models down the line, and it just never felt quite as good.

Still prefer X-Box style controllers on the overall, these days. Still not quite up there yet, but still better than PlayStations style, and while I think the JoyCons are absolutely adorable and clever, actually using them is just uncomfortable after awhile.

Both games were pretty damn brutal, but memorable, experiences. I wish someone would come up with something like it, because that was the closest I’ve felt to my childhood dream.

You don’t have to tell me to get in the robot, you have to stop me from hijacking it just for a joyride.

I guess this is “weird” in the sense of “unique”.

The Steel Battalion Mech controls. The size of a table, it was an appropriate recreation of the control panel for a mech, requiring you to go through all the steps from firing it up to ejecting in case of danger. You had pedals, sticks, knobs, switches galore.

Still Pokemon Red. I’m beginning to regret my choices. The choice to include Blue-exclusives, and trade evolutions, because PKHex makes it so easy to do. The choice to try to keep a selection of various typings caught up in level, so I’d have some decent coverage versus brute forcing.

Having the trio of starters. I think I’ve grown to hate Bulbasaur, at this point. Every time I go to drop him into my party, all I can remember is “Not very effective”, over and over again. Well into the 20s, still taking 2-3 Vine Whips to take out a level 6 Kakuna.

Yeah, that’d be fair, and it’s how I normally treat using the shaft of a pole weapon as staff.

Unless it’s a Monk. Damn them, and their versatility!

I’d allow it, at my table.

Using the flat of your blade is a valid tactic for blunting blows, be it against undead or to incapacitate a target.

But I’d also give you a slight disadvantage, as you’re now going to be fighting your blade becoming a fan.

They’re Undead.

Blunt, not edged. They resist edged weapons.

Maybe it’s a Swordbreaker axe, turn the triangle on its head.

Mans been holding onto it since back in the Prologue, probably has some Durability left.

That explains why “Cry of the Black Birds” was on the official soundtrack.

That’s when you turn it into a running gag, and see if anyone notices before they’re clearing out whole camps simply named “Phil”.

Warm up some garlic naan, then plop your pasta on top. I think it turns out better than a tortilla.

Hell, I’m an oldass, I remember seeing people talk about Linkshells with certain interests on the forums and in-game. FFXIVs sense of community has been awesome for a long time, and they’ve only improved it from what I’ve seen.