I’m the person who got married after finding her spouse on OK Cupid, I’m half of all the people that got a marriage cause of that site!

Honestly, if you set your standards really high, and your distance to global, it should work out.

I apologize that I didn’t meat your heretofore unknown posting requests. I’ll do better going forward.

I did it elsewhere twice. More than that seems a bit overkill, considering the account is on the front page twice, suddenly.

“Only through the breakening of one’s legs, can an orangutan ever be cooked well.”

—Benito Mussolini

That’s loser talk, get more livers. You can do it, all you need is a scalpel, a ladder, and a cooler!

You know GWAR would buy JD Vance for fifty bucks.

First, these jabronies need adderall.

Second, I need adderall.

I think we’re the same sort of jabroni.

…what the fuck?

Hi, I have attention-deprived homosexual disaster disorder, and I medicate with extreme amounts of caffeine.

Really? You want to post slop on Lemmy? That’s what went through your brain? That’s what you considered a good enough idea that you’d execute it?

Today on Horde Kitchen I’m gonna teach you how to make hot moldy cheese while being attacked on all sides relentlessly. Now, you’re gonna need to find a microwave, and once you do, slap that rotten cheese on in there and set it to high. Don’t mind the smell, it’s killing the audience around you as fast as it’s choking you out. Now when your cheese is cooked, cook it again. You can make cheese out of anything: sunglasses, keys, bracelets, if it’s food or spelled with the same alphabet food is spelled with, you can make cheese out of it. Oops, I just got touched by a random goblin who fell off the cliff I was standing next to. Until next time, on Horde Kitchen!

A former friend of mine voice acted in Borderlands 3. The moment I heard their voice I shut the game off and sold the disc back to the store, a long time ago.

In a way, they spared me a lot of boredom. I like to think I put those abruptly-refunded hours into Clair Obscur.

No, Tanis, you put them into a ton of failed Megabonk runs that you got slightly ticked off at, so the net effect emotionally was basically the same.

Turtles are so much better than he ever was.

Rest in piss.

🐢

We can learn things more than once. God forbid we forgot what happened when we elected Trump the first time.

Cool, yes, but if there’s only one thing we learned in the last year, the courts have no enforcement against the feds.

Newspapers can’t warn Trump cause he can’t read.

God, I hate that game,

she says, on her thirty-fifth consecutive pacifist attempt on Forest 1, as Sir Oofie, desperately aching for that thorns tome to come up

We will outlive this desiccated ham sandwich.

You know, the reason my name won’t ever surface in the Epstein Files is cause I didn’t go there and fuck children. I can’t help but wonder if Musk tried that strategy. Maybe him skill issue?

Yeah, you’re right, even when people have hit rock bottom, they’ll just get a more powerful subterranean speed-tunneller.