I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes
As a guy at least in my experience, whenever I leave home I am faced with constant criticism and I have come to the realization that I simply do not have the capacity for it at home as well
As a stone-age person on Lemmy (47) allow me a response please.
First of all, I agree with you. Spent my 20s going through the motions thinking “maybe I just won’t meet someone I can bear to be with in the long term”.
And then I met her.
But in some respects she also met me at the right time. My assumptions about what I needed to help fix changed. My way of talking to women about their day, their challenges, their ambitions slowly morphed. So I don’t know if “she was perfect for me” or I had finally learnt how the differences between biological males and biological females drove how we communicated, what we needed and expected from each other, allowed me to finally commit to a long term relationship. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 15. She drives me mad at times, and most days she wants to strangle me slowly, but despite all those small details, we also make each other laugh till we can’t breathe, we agree on almost everything (probably why the small disagreements become so “important”), we manage to parent four kids relatively well and when we finally find the time to have a day by ourselves, I am reminded why I fell in love with her.
I guess I’m trying to tell you that it might still happen to you too.
I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.
We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.
Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).
If you don’t understand how to do something, type the problem into YouTube, also its never too late to put money into a savings account
You realize 31 year olds were only 10 when YouTube came out? They have lived nearly their whole lives with it. Why do so many people under 30 think anyone over 30 is 50 years old?
When someone is having a computer problem I ask them to restart first. Not because I think they don’t know to do it, but just in case. Some people don’t know. Sometimes people forget. Obvious advice is useful sometimes.
Dude my mom is 60 and uses youtube all the time, why do people also think 60 is 89?
Now my (now dead) 89yo relatives? Yeah they didn’t use youtube, one of them had a rotary phone until the phone company stopped supporting them in like 2009 and then he had no phone and no internet until the day he died. Had to drive to his house or send him a letter.
Lmao i bet he was like “fuck those phone companies”
He was indeed lol. We bought him a tracphone too, and he refused to hook it up (or let us do so.) He was great lol.
You were in grade school when this was made.
I may be 32, but I can throw in my own thoughts here. Stop paying attention to “societal norms”. Societal norms are just there to control people. Do what you love. Watch cartoons and listen to whatever music you want to. You don’t have to be an adult at all times. Take a break once in a while.
Why would we know this less than you?
Definitely a broad average but I don’t feel like its unfair to say each generation up is a bit more reserved that the younger
I never said I knew better than anyone. I just threw my piece in.
Hmm. So it’s cool to buy the $900 Lego kits?
Yes it is, if you have the means to do so. Embrace that inner child
I mean it’s your money. Why should I have any say in what you buy with it?
If you can afford it, sure. If it’s money that should be spent elsewhere, you might want to rethink it.
Considering the vast majority of people that walk around naked in the public locker room without an ounce of shame are people over 50 or over 60, I find this comment has got it backwards. There seems to be a universal constant that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think. I know I have experienced this myself, and most older people I ask tend to agree vehemently. It also explains why so many young people are embarrassed by their parents.
My advice to teens and people in their early twenties: don’t worry what other people think of you. No one else is thinking about you much at all.
I’ve never seen someone come out of the closet at 50 and remark that they’re glad they took their time
Find a hobby that will allow you to keep your sanity during difficult times (unemployment and such) and after you retire.
There’s no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don’t love.
You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.
That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.
You can even love the parts you are saying goodbye to. Not improving, but eliminating. You never have to turn off the love at all ever for anything.
That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they’re related.
The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.
Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.
This is a real problem with changing your mind.
I can’t believe how many times I’ve been told I’ve changed when I no longer found something funny or said something that I wouldn’t have in my teen years.
One of the longest-running opinions of mine that hasn’t been disproved yet is that many people just don’t really mature or age mentally, it seems; they just grow older, without accumulating much if any wisdom.
Some grow wiser, but one of the lessons of my 20s has been you have to do it on purpose. I’m not wiser than I was 5 years ago on accident.
Children (be they your own or unrelated children you have responsibility for) are people, not property or pets or whatever. Treat them as such. They’re just people with less experience and more vulnerability.
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Don’t be afraid of healthy change and always admit fault.
While some of the shit coming out in our current generation can be stupid or superfluous always take it in context and see how it could be used to better your life.
Ex. Increase in mental health awareness recontexualizes your childhood.
Also listening. Even if the shit coming out of your child’s/younger coworker mouth is some bonkers shit at least listen to them without judgement. Will make any criticism that much better received
I am 30 years old. Ask me anything.
What new body pains have you found?
I swear it was like a switch for me
Previous injuries I had when I was young. Like my knee from a baseball injury a long time ago. They just randomly flare up now. But brand new? Lower back. I swear some days it’s like a flip of a coin.
I’m in my late 20s and scared, now.
If it makes you feel any better, everyone goes through it. haha
To top it all off, I found my first grey today, too.
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Be younger.
Hahahaha me and my iced back hate you just a little rn
People older than 45, what advice would you give to people younger than 30?
This is interesting - not the advice itself, but for what it suggests under-30s think the over 30s are like, which is that they’re people who’ve not read nearly enough self-help books from the table at the front of the book store.
You don’t have to have children, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.
You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.
Go travel. See things, eat food, drink wine, enjoy yourself.
Yep, this is what I’m going to do. I’m in my 30s now and I’m going to start travelling. I was going to wait until I was in my 40s but I realized nothing is promised so I might as well go ahead and do it now.
You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.
How can i tell this to bills?
“William, you don’t need to be in a relationship,…”
Same way you’d tell it to steves I guess
this was an interesting thought, OP. a shame nobody seems to have understood the assignment
Just because you don’t understand something within the first 5 seconds doesn’t mean it’s stupid.
Also information changes on a daily basis. Just because someone gave you different information than what you were taught doesn’t mean they were taught wrong. Look it up.
As a 30+ person, this hits true. I heard my first friend say “the crap music these kids are listening to”. Like dude, have just some self awareness, remember our parents saying green day and blink -182 were crap.
I would add to this that we don’t need to understand something for there to be value to others. There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.
As a 40+ person, I strongly agree with my young colleague here.
Listen to what you want, kids. Enjoy it. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong about it.
As Common once put it, “If I don’t like it, I don’t like it, that don’t mean that I’m hatin’.”
The advice-for-kids thread is elsewhere. This is an advice for old people thread.
Indeed, but this particular sub-thread started with an OP giving advice to older people, and is now older people responding to that comment. These aren’t top level comments, so let the conversation go where it may.
Loving this chain. Also over 30. I get frustrated that what older generations used to spout about Millenials like me (lazy, don’t want to work, etc) gets spouted by my generation to gen z.
I’ve seen some Gen Z kids do some bad things, but I’ve also seen them do amazing things my generation would not have done.
As far as music, I love all the variety there is and all the mediums to listen to it now.
I am actively working on trying to be better than the older generation. I love how unique gen z is, how they truly believe everyone have value, their beliefs, their morals. I have hope they will be better than us
Well, less people are listening new releases each year, more are listening old songs…
There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.
It’s actually called tap dancing, and if you think of that as a youths thing you’re older than dirt.
Tbf some of the popular music has been shit since music began I’m sure, but there’s also always good stuff. For instance rap music, most of it these days is garbage like lil uzi and lil peep, but there’s still dudes like Aesop Rock (not ASAP Rocky, Aesop Rock), Run The Jewels, Meyhem Lauren, Lil Nas X, making good shit out there. Pop hasn’t been good since the 80s though. Oddly enough I think my favorite stuff from “now” is actually the fact that shoegaze is coming back but called zoomergaze and it’s fantastic! The band Julie is a good example, check out their EP Pushing Daisies. Also there’s been some really good recent country, namely Charley Crockett and Sturgil Simpson, and (ok it’s psychedelic bluegrass but) Billy Strings.
There is good stuff, we just have to dig through piles of shit for it.
Talking to the admin of a pop music instance there bud.
Then they already know the radio has been pumping out pure drivel and oldies since the advent of RoboDJs? My mistake, didn’t mean to musicsplain.
Edit: OH but I should qualify it: J-pop and K-pop are putting out some decent stuff, just not KISSFM™ and IHeartRadio™ which are equivalent to all American pop radio.
