I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.
My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.
I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can’t safely lift anything that’s heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.
I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.
We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.
My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say “Sure.”
My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.
My brother isn’t the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can’t be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.
My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.
I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don’t know for sure if they will, since we’re not close emotionally. I also don’t know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn’t have much trouble crossing state lines.
I don’t know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.
Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won’t miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.
The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.
I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.
Any advice would be helpful. I don’t want to wait, but I also can’t do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, so any input is appreciated.
Thank you.
Nothing to contribute to the conversation here, but fuck, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Please do let us know if you get out of this alive.
If you’re as disabled as you say and either you have documentation (such as state benefits) or it’s just obvious I would try APS (adult protective services) over the cops. Things will move faster and more effectively if you do some of the legwork (hypothetically speaking) for them ahead of time.
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Get in touch with the family that might take you in. Try to find three options who confirm they will take you. Write down or keep in a Google doc or whatever their: full names, phone numbers, email addresses, and physical addresses. The number one thing I see holding up cases like yours is housing, and if you have all those details worked out ahead of time a caseworker can do a lot more for you a lot faster. A lot of the time our psych social workers can get someone a uber / lyft or bus ticket easily enough, the problem is figuring out where they’re going. If you have the contact info of someone they can call right there and then who has already agreed to take you, you are a slam dunk open and shut case. Get three so you have backups.
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Arrange for a ride locally such as a friend or acquaintance or literally anyone else who has a car and is willing to help you for 24-48 hours. This should not be hard to talk someone into. Many people want to help a person like you but don’t have the resources to house someone for weeks or months. For this acquantaince you are an easy way to help and feel good about themselves. Use that. Tell them to wait for you to contact them. Again, try to get three options set up so you have two failsafes.
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AFTER you’ve done that, call your local APS (adult protective services) or file a report online. Do whatever you can to keep your family from knowing you called because it might take a few hours up to maybe even a day or two for them to get to you and you don’t want your family tipped off in the meantime. Tell them you’re being held by your family and kept from accessing your legal identifying documents like your birth certificate. If you get state benefits your documentation or papers regularly mailed to you may also have a compliance / abuse reporting hotline number somewhere on it. You could also try a crisis hotline through an organization that does community outreach. Tell them they have abused you in the past and you are in fear for your life. Tell them you HAVE A PLACE TO GO you just need help getting your documents. Again, you are easy to help in this situation, they don’t need to worry about setting you up with benefits or housing or anything, just transport maybe. This is what the numbers and addresses are for, they may want to confirm you have somewhere to go and even have options. Just play up the danger and that they’re keeping you from your documents. If you get an asshole worker wait six hours and try again (change of shift) or try calling a different agency or the next town over. You may also be able to find other places to call or worst case scenario call 911.
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The SECOND they show up and if they’re able to get you those documents, get the hell out to that person who’s helping you locally and block your family and do not tell or hint or give them any other indication of where you’re going. Don’t even tell the person giving you a ride if you think it will get back to them. If necessary tell them an entirely different final destination and just get them to get you to the airport / bus terminal and get out.
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while you’re waiting, get all your medications, medical equipment / supplies, any valuables or sentimental items, and 3-5 changes of clothes all in the same area of the house. Make sure to pack sentimental clothing but especially pack accessible clothing that’s easy for you to dress yourself with. Get them into a bag if you think you can do so discreetly, but a box or even just a pile in an out of the way corner is fine. If you have any special skin safe shampoo or other non-medicine but important toiletries stash them too or just make sure they’re all in the same place in the bathroom. Get everything into 1-3 discreet / hidden piles so you just need to throw them in a trash bag and go. If there’s any valuables you think your family will try to dispute ownership of, try to get any receipts or photos of you wearing or using them or texts from someone who bought them for you or whatever else you can find and put them in a Google drive folder or email to yourself. Worst case scenario though, be willing to leave some things behind if you have to.
Good luck and godspeed. :)
This is the best advice, in the best order, which I have seen laid out so far.
To which I will add:
Assuming you do have at least a valid Drivers License… it should be possible for you to attain your own copy of your Social Security card (which is not actually a card, its just paper) and Birth Certificate.
For the former, you can make an account on ssa.gov , and it is not too hard to get a Social Security card mailed to wherever you end up. Just say your old card was stolen.
As far as your Birth Certificate… theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I’m not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Finally, when you are settled in a new safe place, if you have not already tried, apply for SSI and/or SSDI from Social Security.
Its a mountain of paperwork, takes up to a year or more, but if you can get any form of guaranteed income, that’s better than 0.
As far as your Birth Certificate… theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I’m not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Vital Statistics
Here’s the info from Ohio:
https://odh.ohio.gov/know-our-programs/vital-statistics/how-to-order-certificates
Hero.
You really need to break those paragraphs up. If you want to give people advice to help them out, the very first thing you need to do is care about how you’re presenting that information. OP even said they have issues with cognitive function sometimes, so help them out by not giving them sold blocks of texts.
And I can tell you as someone who is intimately familiar with the workings of the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, the assistance available to OP will depend heavily on how their local country office is run. It could be as easy as you say, it could also be an absolute cluster fuck that takes weeks for no resolution because the county office has been butchered by local conservative leadership.
If you’d like to edit the thing I wrote for free at 2am to include your edits for clarity and more localized bureaucratic knowledge, I’m happy to link right to you at the beginning. Other than that, you’re welcome.
Actually, none of this advice is actionable for OP because Ohio doesn’t have exceptions for disability for APS. You must be 60 years or older.
“Adult” means any person sixty years of age or older within this state who is disabled by the infirmities of aging or who has a physical or mental impairment which prevents the person from providing for the person’s own care or protection, and who resides in an independent living arrangement.
It looks like certain countries may extend those benefits to 18-60 year olds with disabilities, but only if they have funds, and only specific a handful of counties. It’s absolutely no guarantee because the law does not require the DOJFS to respond if the person is under 60.
Honestly, if they follow your advice, the DOJFS is likely to just call the cops anyway.
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I think the best advice has been given by others.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Feel free to DM me if you need to vent, or if I can do anything to help.
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That depends a great deal on what the local police are like. They may help. They may just let the family know about the complaint. Generations of abused women provide an unfortunate history of these issues.
And even if the police do help, they will not be able to provide protection. Their job is to arrest and prosecute the brother after he commits the murder. It’s sad and wrong, but that is the way the system works.
Do you have any disability income?
With conditions that severe, do you have access to a medical transport service or an understanding friend? One way or another, have them get you to a bus depot, buy a ticket to the nearest sane state and tap their social services to help you get established with basic care - Ohio is likely beyond broken intentionally, and it might not feel like it, but you will find social systems that function (not perfectly, but function for those truly in need) in other states.
If you’re in active danger, focus on moving (or being moved) away, as fast and far as you can afford.
Assuming this is real, and that you have a cell phone, I think your best resource is your not crazy relatives. Ask to visit. I find it more likely your brother is just boasting and full of shit, but if you are physically delicate, it could still end badly.
So call them and tell them what you told us, that you are worried. If they invite you, that will be an excuse to get your stuff from your mom. You need allies.
As others have said, you really should contact the police and let them know your brother is planning to murder people.
Maybe the FBI would be a better contact in this case? I may be wrong, but to me the brothers explicit words of intention and access to guns seems very much like a threat of premeditated domestic terrorism. If that’s indeed the case, here’s the FBI’s page with contact options near the bottom.
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal/live with this OP. You deserve much better. This internet stranger is proud of you for doing all that’s within your power in such a shitty situation!
Both of these are good suggestions, but only after OP gets out.
100% agree. OP’s safety comes first and foremost!
Department of Children and Families
This reads as a shitpost, but I’ll advise on the chance it isn’t and you’re in a crazy deadly situation.
Make a show of applying for remote Jobs ASAP, do it tomorrow. Dress up nice for the “E-meetings”, and then hop in discord or something with a friend and have an “Interview” that goes well.
Then, explain to your family that you need to submit documents to HR to complete onboarding. Get ALL your personal documents in hand, and then ride off into the sunset away from them.
Here is my advice. When someone tells you who they are believe them. Get out. DO NOT contact police or any kind of law enforcement until you are gone and safe. People like this will escalate if they feel threatened.
You can get new documents, clothes and items. Even if you only escape with the clothes on your back, wallet and phone. Make sure your family cannot track your phone. Make sure any communication you have with your helpers is locked down. Use an app your family doesn’t use or understand, like Snapchat or Discord. Have your helpers or uber pick you up a few houses down in the middle of the night if you have to.
You would be surpised who still cares for you. Reach out to family, to old friends, to anyone you think could help, either by giving you a ride or taking you in for awhile. I haven’t talked to my best friend from collage for over a decade, but if she called me needing help I would drop everything and head her way.
Also, I live east coast and hell, maybe I could give you a ride to somewhere depending on where you are going.
Lastly, please take this seriously. You are not overreacting. Your life may very well be in danger, and just like with any other abusive relationship, leaving is the most dangerous part. Nothing you own outside of your ID and medications are worth dying for.
Use an app your family doesn’t use or understand, like Snapchat or Discord.
Nah, use Signal, they definitely won’t use it, cause it’s “woke leftist crap”
Signal posted this on Twitter a few years ago:
And this is what the Trump cultists had to say about it:
So you can definitely be sure that they don’t use it
It’s also much more private and secure than Snapchat or Discord. I would avoid Discord, since it’s not encrypted and your chats are saved to your account. If someone gets your password, they can read all your chats. Signal only saves them on your device, so you’re safe.
@sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world
How can they say that when Truth Social is a fork of Mastodon lol
Your comment feels like it’s replying to the title of the thread and not to the context of the post.
OP is disabled, literally struggles to move on their own, and is financially dependent on their mother. Most of your advice is boilerplate and unactionable for them.
I really curious how they found out that you voted for Harris. Was the party dumb enough to send you a thank you letter with blue stickers or something?
I would wager an average US mail carrier could correctly assume who a household has voted for just from the correspondences delivered during any given election season.
For people who are worried about what their family members would think, probably they’re not donating or signing up for newsletters, so their postal mail is not going to give you much information.
The entire scenario sounds completely fabricated. Voting in the US is completely private unless the person asks for assistance. Also the amount of detail the OP provided reads like fan fiction.
It’s absolutely fake
Do you really not know who your family likely voted for, or your roommates? People like this don’t need a registered ballot result to make an inference that lets them act violently; unless he’d had the foresight to play at being a Trump convert months ago, I think this story is extremely credible.
Some states will tell you just about everything about a voter with only their name and birthdate. Not that far feteched
Cards against humanity/Super PAC’s disagree.
Its actually stupid easy to get information about who you voted for.
A lot can be inferred. OP probably has talked about his political beliefs before with their family present (or eavesdropped). Either that, or OP had some arguments with his dad and his brother and they’re now taking leaps of faith thinking he must be a democrat.
It’s the latter.
Arguably a stupid mistake in retrospect, but all I said was that genocide against LGBTQ+ people is evil because genocide is evil, period.
I believed that opposing genocide was still in the Overton window and they hadn’t gone full fash yet.
But then they told me who they really were.
That’s when they began to constantly accuse me of voting for Harris. Because I opposed the mass killing of innocent people. I was already the oddball in my family for not spewing hateful rhetoric every day, so it was a believable narrative to them.
Maybe my brother doesn’t believe for sure that I voted for Harris and just included me in his hit list because I oppose the killing that he wants to do. Either way, the end result is the same.
That’s my question too, do they not have a secret ballot in the US? If they do (and I’m pretty sure they do) my advice to OP is to deny who they voted for until they can get to safety, “was just joking about voting Harris” is a perfectly reasonable lie if your safety is threatened, the family would have no proof or way of finding out.
In the US our actual vote is secret and anonymous, so it is possible to hide who you “pull the lever” for. When you vote in the primary however, (in most states) it is recorded which party’s primary you choose to vote in (but again your actual vote is secret) . This is a matter of public record (don’t ask me why) and campaigns use that info to target people based on their likelihood to vote for them. So if OP chose to vote in the Dem primary, their name would be on record as having participated in that Dem primary, and the local/state/national Democratic Party probably would have sent campaign materials to their address (not like thank you notes, but more like ads for Dem candidates and causes), and their family may have deduced that they had an “outsider” amongst them. Another scenario is that OP may have just been honest with them when they asked.
Our vote is not secret. You should probably go read up on just how “private” our voting information js.
This is a matter of public record (don’t ask me why)
At least in some states it’s because it’s illegal to vote in more than one party’s primary. Can’t enforce that if you don’t know who voted in which.
You would think they could store that information privately, and have it be accessible privately, without it needing to be entirely public.
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How did they find out who you voted for?
Whenever I watch movies, sometimes I need to remind myself not to get caught up and to just allow the story to tell itself.
“Family” and “relation” aren’t mutually exclusive; call the cops on your brother. You can’t un-radicalize him, but you can at least keep him away from you.
