Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/
And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.
🤣
Great idea. Who didn’t like the Colbert Report? Could turn out like a right-wing populist Repor!
But he’s got a serious side. You know what those globalists are doing…
This just made my day
For me, the cherry on top is how the “InfoWars” name is still completely apt, for completely different reasons.
Reformatting InfoWars as a serious, unironic branch of the Onion that deals with misinformation would just be great.
I gotta find out what the Knowledge Fight folks have to say about this.
I am waiting for the next episode to drop. Biggest episode ever.
Where is Alex Jones on now?
Hasn’t Trump appointed him head of media relations, or something equally as stupid?
If Alex Jones becomes press secretary, I’ll be convinced that this is all a simulation.
I would love that. The only person on earth less coherent than Trump. Imagine the memes we would get out of that.
Oh my god what a power move. More power to them, seriously. Best outcome we could have gotten
I wonder what they paid 🤣
To quote the Onion themselves:
No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.
Their adherence to the technically correct is awe-inspiring.
Will anyone visiting know the difference?
Does this mean they’re Alex Jones’s boss now?
Makes sense. They keep him contained somewhere to ramble, while appropriately inducted and vetted comedians interpret, neutralize and transmit his bullshit and make it funny.
An oracle of comedy situation.
Aside from the official licensing, you essentially just described Knowledge Fight.
That pushed me over the edge to subscribe to the print edition
Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!
Either way, this may be the best news I’ve heard all year, thank you!
I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars’ library of footage. Maybe they could “keep” Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef’s last episode.
Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.
I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.
The “shitter’s full” third I hope.
One of the few good uses for generative AI I’ve seen.
I hope they own Jones’ likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.
Train an AI model to produce new shows with him as the host
This just in! I’m turning my frickin’ self gay! I’m selling the supplements that will get you there too! The deep state wants to control us! NO MORE! You’re not gonna get my frickin’ dna to fight in your wars! You’re not gonna push us around!
eats handful of supplements
These Pro-homoerotics are literally the best on the market. I just now took them and I already want to tear my clothes off and throw the cameraman on this table!
Help support InfoWars and fight the deep state! I can’t do this without you guys and now I want to do you guys!
Like this? https://youtu.be/9JRLCBb7qK8?si=sDYZT5z_FlyiMan-
https://youtu.be/9kAEoCHANYY?si=LHq8QiiufT73XKqM
Or my personal favorite
This is fucking hilarious, best news I’ve heard in forever.
Best news I’ve seen in weeks
They should run it like it was. Then in about a year, just subtly start changing the context. Then before you know it, they are going to start supporting progressive topics.
Listen, I keep saying that reality is better satire than satire, BUT COME ON!
“Tim onion” got an irl lol out of me
ben also replied saying he’d hold it for knowledge fight, so there’s an incredible chance we might see knowledge fight use it at some point.
This is so weird, I just read a comment on Lemmy where someone said they should do exactly this.
