Ya know when someone rounds a corner, they lose traction, run in place for a moment, and then fall?

Yeah. While in a factory. One of the trailers the next section was working on caught fire, so I bolted over there to assist, and no one in my section thought to hit our E-Stop. I bolted around the corner, hit the red button, turned, was booking it back, hit that corner, and was just in place until my ass hit concrete.

After all was said and done, we had a good laugh. Got called out at the next safety meeting for being a bit too enthusiastic on making my way back.

So a light rail train is a surface ground public transport system similar to a tram, it moves around on street level and can be quite fast but is usually plastic on the exterior and lighter and slower than a typical train.

So anyways, one time as I am walking down the sidewalk in college my hat blows right off my head, without thinking much of it I sprint off after it hoping to catch it before it ends up in the street.
I manage to catch right before I’m in the actual road, but apparently still right on the tracks for the light rail that had right of way through the intersection.

I am still bent over grabbing my hat as I look over my shoulder to see the train hitting me.
I bounced off the front of that train probably a good 10 feet, skid across the ground for the last bit but immediately jump up slap the hat back on my head and stare at the driver of the light rail just long enough for us both to realize I am still on the tracks. I don’t know what they were ever going to say as I just held my hand down on my hat to stop it blowing away and sprinted as fast as I could away.

I have been hit by nearly every mode of transportation but that one always makes me giggle compared to the trains, buses, cars or boats.

Someone handed me a rake and in perfect cartoon fashion, I stepped on it and wacked myself in the face.

Went to my car at Lidl. When entering I hit my head against the roof. Bumped to the other way, door began closing, hit my other side of my head against the door, then roof again, again door and smashing into the interior in a sitting position. Door closed.

After made myself think again I thought about how my father would be disappointed over my grave that he raised my for so long and I killed myself in such a stupid way.

Every moment, Existence is some cruel joke.

when i was running to take the bus and slipped in a puddle in the sidewalk, throwing my legs upwards as if i were daniel stern in home alone, and landing on my back.

Rushing on a snowy day, walked into an open manhole. To this day I have no idea what I landed on, I was shoulders-deep and when I came back the next day the snow was gone all I saw was the manhole cover.

Slipped on a banana peel in kidnergarten.

Was putting together a flat pack wardrobe with my sister and mother. Mother just had to stand and support it whilst my sister did up some screws (at this point it was just a rectangle with no internal support so gravity wants to turn it into a rhombus). She starts getting bored and checks her phone leading to it tilting and the top section falls out and brains my sister on the head. After some choice words we put it back together and then she manages to do the exact same thing the second time, right on top of the bump made by the first incident. It was like a laurel and hardy sketch. My sister was very much not amused.

I was practicing my front kicks on a heavy bag in my kung fu school when I decided to try to work on their height. I kicked as high as I could which made me lean back (bad form). Well heavy bags fight back and between that and my unstable position I fell backwards like a log. Yes, I was defeated by a bag.

I once had a group drive by in a van, and harass me and my friends as they passed, then, maybe 30 minutes later, come around again, slow down as they were driving past, open the sliding door, and started throwing fish at us. Like whole dead fish.

I went dirt bike riding with my dad and my brother. My brother hadn’t ridden in a while, so dad started to go over the basics with him. He had other ideas however.

“I know what I’m doing”, my brother complained, interrupting the explanation. He then proceeded to start the bike, rev the handle all the way, and dump the clutch. He popped a wheelie and got maybe five feet before he fell over. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

I fell down concrete steps and rolled into it and came back on my feet relatively unscathed. That reminds me also about a car accident I was in. Was in the left lane of a multi lane highway and a guy made a left lane change into my rear bumper (really closer to my center but I noticed and tried to speed up and honky but still got clipped). My cars back slipped left such that my care pointed forward. Another car slammed into my right side front flipping me onto the left side of the car and pointing me forward again but my momentum mainly stayed going to the right hand ditch which I eventually got to and then my vehicle flipped back upright do to the ditch decline. I was injured but again relative to what just happened and Im throwing this in but just to be clear it was a really aweful experience for not just me but many other people and other people got seriously injured. I just lucked the fuck out.

Working at Dairy Queen when I was a teen. I was cleaning the soft serve machine and forgot to depressurize and drain the machine before i opened the front up. As soon as I loosened the last bolt it exploded gallons of chocolate and vanilla soft serve ice cream. In an instant, the entire mall food court was sprayed in a fine mist of soft serve. Once I wiped the ice cream from my eyes and realized what just happened, I looked around and there was a perfect outline of my silhouette on the wall behind me.