I’m 20F, he’s 25M. We met in January and have been dating since last month. He’s already met my parents - they love him, and he hangs out at our house all the time. Literally no one has any issues with him, he’s super welcome here. I invited him to sleep over for a few days this week just for fun, but he said he’s not comfortable with it - apparently it feels too “intimate” for him? Like, he’s got this thing about doing private stuff with other people around. I just want him to relax a bit. We’re all adults here, and everyone knows people have private lives. How can I help him feel more okay with it?
I am not sure why everyone here isn’t seeing the obvious. You’re 20 and live at home. He’s 25 and is a guy. You’ve been together for 4 weeks. 30 days.
Your parents don’t “love” him. They are just tolerant and probably happy he’s not an awful goober.
You are a love-struck 20 year old and may potentially not be picking up on cues or grasp the nuances of parenting and having an adult offspring in the house.
He’s a guy, 25, and has likely heard his share of mischaracterizations from parents, or possibly been in a situation where he got caught sleeping over as a teenager… Or any other number of things fresh in his head from also being young.
Neither of you have true license over this relationship while you’re not a fully autonomous person, paying your own rent and having your own place, sleeping over at your place is going to feel weird at 30 days or 3 years if you live with your parents.
Give the guy a break. It’s not a comfortable situation. It won’t change with another person if you two break up and try again with someone else.
Unless they come from a culture where living with your parents is absolutely normal which is surprisingly still very common.
In that case it wouldn’t be that common to have a “casual” boyfriend coming to sleep over after a month though
Oh man this ^
Perfect response
Love-struck. As in being hit by something.
Typo: as in, I was slapping keys at 6:45am and couldn’t see.
Thanks or whatever.
They’re being helpful and assuming you may genuinely not know the word, and are giving you the correct version for the context.
Getting defensive isn’t necessary.
Explaining your typo is not being defensive.
The “I’m doing the thing you’re doing but throwing it back at you” and “thanks or whatever” definitely is.
Sometimes context will inform the reader whether or not the writer genuinely made a mistake or was ignorant or uninformed. I’m just being helpful here, so don’t get defensive.
It wasn’t meant in a negative way - I’ve just seen “Love Stuck” a couple times on lemmy and wanted to make sure you knew the correct version. You’re not the first I’ve seen call it that for whatever reason (typo or otherwise) so it was just kind of a general correction so others didn’t bone-apple-tea the phrase themselves.
Sorry, it wasn’t meant to throw shade or anything. Usually after I make a mistake like that I go back and edit my post to fix it.
No sweat. No offense taken.
no offense taken, but given. really, what was that, man?
Now kiss.
This is probably the best response. Just chill and he’ll be fine.
I’d argue comfort could come after more time together in the right circumstances. Many couples choose to live with one sides parents to save money given the housing shortage many countries are facing. The catch is, this typically only works when both the parents and the couple are respectful of each others privacy and boundaries. This often equates to turning a basement into an apartment with sperate bathroom and kitchen/kitchenette.
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slightly off topic, but this is a contradiction. if you are paying rent, that is not your own place.
Can you just not.
It is in the ways that matter here. “Own” here refers to being independent from your parents specifically, not property ownership.