I find it interesting that some people are strictly monogamous while others are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum and prefer exclusively non-monogamous arrangements. I respect all variations; I’m just curious about the influences behind them. Personally, I’m monogamous myself, but I’m okay with my husband being with other women as long as I don’t feel neglected and he’s discreet about it. I think this perspective has been influenced by my parents’ marriage.
I was in a monogamous relationship and had feelings for someone else. I didn’t want to cheat, but it felt wrong I couldn’t do anything with this other person that I felt chemistry with. I knew I wouldn’t be upset if my partner had other people so long as she also spent time with me. After that relationship ended (for other reasons) I decided not to put myself in the same situation.
Ironically, pursuing non monogamy means there are far fewer people to date. I was getting a viable match like once a month or so, maybe less. When I switched back to monogamy as an option, it was like 1d4-1 a week.