You don’t have to.
Anything really. No matter what your friends say, what your family says, you’re not obligated to live your life in a way which is not comfortable for you. Or put yourself into situations you dislike just to please other’s expectations.
Do it your way. Do your best to be a good person of course (according to whichever moral standard you hold). But do it your way.
Apathy is also my old guy super power. Not about everything, just all the shit that doesn’t matter.
Nice perspective man. It really gives you time to breath.
Buying a GOOD computer chair. You don’t know the pain you’re causing yourself until you wake up with a sore lower back.
Adding to this, beware of progressive lenses. Get dedicated readers if you need them for the distance of your screen so you don’t have to tilt your head even a little.
I managed to get a Steelcase chair off Craigslist for a great price and it has changed my home office life. I could sit in that chair 24/7 and still be comfortable. And they replaced a broken part for free even though I wasn’t the original buyer.
That is an important one and I’ll expand on it slightly…I spend probably 80% of my time either sleeping, sitting in front of the computer, or out walking around. Consequentially, the most comfortable and expensive things I own are my mattress, my office chair, and my shoes. Spend your money where it matters.
Drink water. Move every day. Floss. Seriously floss mother fucker.
a long hot bath is worth the time spent on it.
Bottom sheets are much comfier than a bare mattress
Drink water.
So many odd physical conditions ended up being the result of dehydration and went away once I started drinking water throughout my day. I was in my 30s when I learned that one.
And for other people reading this threat - always have a water bottle standing next to you! For me it was a bit game changer to have water quickly accessible. I’ve also implemented a tradition of drinking a bottle every morning - that immensely helps in getting your body active.
Only downside is that you’ll go to the toilet often.
What kinda symptoms?
Seemingly everything:
• Muscle aches
• Joint pain
• Brain fog
• Depression & anxiety
• Increased heart rate
• Energy level
• MoodSooo… safe to say, a lot of things! And this isn’t including other things like organ heath, skin, teeth, sleep quality….
c/HydroHomies
It took me 30 years to learn I’ve CPTSD.
But what concrete self-care tips have you derived from that?
Fake it till you make it is a sucessfull postponement to existential questions.
Isnt that problematic for your authenticity tho?
That’s a later problem
No one is genuinely authentic. Maybe a few people who are incapable of doing otherwise due to issues.
Sometimes I’m not even authentic to myself. I can be different people from one day to the next. Generally it’s an attempt to be better followed by reversion to mean, but sometimes not.
What self-care have you learned thar you can briefly share?
What you think is characteristics of a personality, might be symptoms of abuse.
Same.
I guess the ‘lesson’ would be:
If you can do a thought exercise about a or multiple personal relationships you have with adults, and you conclude that a blatant, repeated and normalized double standard exists where if you treated these persons they way they treat you, for just one day or one week, and you know they would become enraged, furious and indignant, that their world would collapse around them without you bearing emotional / physical / mental / financial / planning responsibilities or tasks for them…
Run. Leave. Block. Cut off all contact.
Such people cannot be changed, and your life will be better without them.
Did you learn how you got that?
Yes
Sometimes you just need a day or two where you don’t do a damned thing and there should be no shame in it. Self-care is often described as things one can do, active things, verbs. Sometimes the compulsion to always be doing something is the crux of the problem
That drinking a lot in your early 20s needs to stop after college-ish or it quickly becomes too much. Easy to get addicted and also your body pretty much sucks at handling it after 24/5.
Also, if you have zero energy you’re probably depressed
I hope there’s no implication in there that it is ok to drink before your early twenties. But just in case: it’s a really bad choice in life! https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/alcohol-harms-the-brain-in-teen-years-before-and-after-that-too-2021011521758
I mean it’s not good for you period but it feels so much worse later on if you can’t control yourself. A drink here and there with family in high school is fine. Many countries outside the conservative US treat it that way and it often produces more mature and less mystified perceptions of alcohol :)
Spend time outdoors … go camping or sleep outside for a night or two … just unplug and be alone for a few hours or a few days. It does wonders to your mental health if you just remove yourself from everything and everyone once in a while.
Spend time in water if you can as well. Float a river or go to a beach or lake. I always joked about drying out but its true. Natural bodies of water are special/significant for me/my well being.
Take care of hand skin.
Learned it in the lab, after some sodium hydroxide got into a minor wound on my hand and started burning.
Dental floss, man. Dental floss.
I was amazed at how little time it took me to develop this habit as an adult. Honestly, just commit to flossing every single day for like 2 weeks straight. It’s just 14 times you’re signing up for. Don’t skip a day.
By the end of the two weeks I bet you’ll feel gross if you skip it and be wondering why you haven’t been flossing your whole life.
Just this one habit change will save you tons of grief and thousands of dollars in dental work over your life. Your gum health affects your overall health in countless ways.
I like those little plastic floss pick things instead of bare floss. Lowers the hassle a lot.
Twice a day and don’t go at it like an animal or too harshly … it’s a pain and I don’t particularly enjoy it but at the same time, I have many, many friends who never took care of their teeth and now in their 40s and 50s either have several missing teeth or are dealing with cavities or gum disease so bad that they will lose their perfectly healthy teeth in a few years.
Seeing what happens to your teeth and mouth if you don’t take care of them is what motivates me every day to take care of mine.
I also think of it this way … would you rather have the small inconvenience every morning and night of flossing … or would you rather not do that every day and just have one terrible and painful dental visit every two / three years to remove another tooth and have your dentist tell you that you’re going to lose more in a few years.
Make sure your routine includes exercise (ideally strength and conditioning), the change in your quality of life cannot be overstated. Also you are much more useful to others
And stretch!
The idea of being a loser or winner in life, and that there is an objective consensus that could accurately rank your value as a person, is fake. People as a whole don’t take the time to come to agreement on what matters, they don’t understand each other, and you don’t have a ranking, even theoretically. It’s only in your imagination, so make an effort to cut some slack and imagine yourself in a kinder way.
this is a concept i’ve been trying to put into concrete terms for myself and you just, like, fuckin nailed it right down. thank you so much.
That it’s okay to stop what I’m doing and take care of myself even if everyone else is doing fine. And that running yourself into the ground because you’re “supposed to” is going to fuck you up in the long run.
That last bit especially applies to running, my knee clicks an unreasonable amount now.
