“This isn’t Mars? You’re not martians? Ah fuck you, you’re martians.”
“West Martians”.
Probably not Alienia
Are the aliens going to rape and enslave?
Very likely
If we’re going by Columbus logic, probably “Jupiter”
Can we get to Jupiter through Earth? No, but at least there’s beaver.
A fixer-upper.
Water planet with cancerous hairless simian population.
Open season on the tasty meat creatures
The Wet Ball of Trash
their new colony
Translated to English, probably “Name-of-Star” 3, as in 3rd planet from our star, same system as Star Trek. The key difference is Columbus had no idea where he was going, and aliens have to know exactly where they’re going. Can’t shoot into space and find a planet by accident.
Chances are you can find a planet by accident, it’s just going to take a very long time
Meat Packing Facility #173
Salty Water Ball With Some Dirt Patches
“Planet of the money-crazy hairless apes that can’t relax”
Or “Klaus”…
Class 13 Death World
