Summary
DOGE staffers Tyler Hassen and Bryton Shang tried pressuring the Bureau of Reclamation to open a California water pump to aid Los Angeles during January’s wildfires, though the system couldn’t reach the city.
When denied, they flew there to do it themselves but failed due to maintenance and access restrictions.
Critics called DOGE a “slapstick operation of 20-somethings they’re seeing as whiz kids but have zero knowledge.”
Trump later ordered dam releases, flooding farmland. Critics called DOGE’s actions reckless and uninformed.
A full department staffed by people who haven’t heard of unknown unknowns.
The problem is the effects of their actions are absolutely known, and quite predictable, as long as you can think more than 1 layer deep.
Too much fire? Easy, release all the water now!.. Except we were clearly holding that water for a reason, otherwise the fucking dam wouldn’t be there in the first place…
When you’re young a lot of the world is unknown unknowns. It’s just a consequence of not having experience in the world.
That and being taught that over-confidence helps overcoming the shortcomings of lacking knowledge. That’s how they got into their positions in the first place.
Well, that and connections.
Summer is coming… Too much fire? Thanks DODGE, Elon, Trump, Republicans… Just murdering Americans away to make way for beautiful resorts and perfect republican white people.
They don’t care. They’re just out to wreck things.
They should have been arrested.
They should have
been arrestedhad the absolute shit beat out of them.Our boys in blue are fully capable of doing both.
The Sheriff has had to issue a memo in my county because the deputies are openly fantasizing about murdering Musk and his fuck boys. So yeah… Something to look forward to.
this whole organization runs exactly like a Seth Rogen / Michael Cera / Jonah Hill movie, except no one is likeable.
failed PR attempt
A couple of terms that need to be resurrected and put into common use during this MAGA Occupation:
These Doggy stooges are sooooo freaking annoying.
Smart people thinking they know everything. I know plenty of preteens that are the same way. They don’t seem to understand there’s a difference between knowledge and wisdom.
I wish someone would put me in a room with these losers
No shit. Little boys would be crying for their mamas.
There needs to be more articles like this that calls them out by name. It’s easy to name Trump and Musk, but call out the cronies too!
Too much credit is given to Trump, which means that if Trump leaves office people will think everything is fixed despite all the other people who steer Trump towards his worst impulses will still be around wreaking havoc.
Trump is 90% a figurehead for the shitty conservatives who wrote Project 2025. He didn’t come up with most of this stuff, he is just going along with it. The 10% of the time things are his idea are fucking terrible too, but he definitely doesn’t deserve most of the credit.
Yeah but it’s MAGA’s weird adoration of Trump that makes this all possible. Also Trump did say he wasn’t going to do Project 2025 during the campaign. People either believed this (despite him being convicted of 34 counts of fraud) or actually wanted Project 2025.
There will always be ghouls that will want to do these kinds of things. But what needs to happen is for voters to learn that bad things happen when you vote for someone like Trump who enables this kind of thing.
Also Trump did say he wasn’t going to do Project 2025 during the campaign. P
Add it to the over 30,000 lies he’s already documented to have told.
Also Trump did say he wasn’t going to do Project 2025 during the campaign.
Nobody has any intention of building a wall.
- said Walter Ulbricht, head of state of the GDR in 1961, two months before he ordered to build the Berlin Wall.
F*cking idiots.
Most of us, raised by Hollywood, imagine critical infrastructure has guards and ID checks. Keys. Guys with machine guns. The last 10 years, it’s pretty clear the major controls are just that no one tries. “I’m from DOGE” is going to be the penetration tester’s go-to social engineering hack for the next four years. Just walk in, press the Big Red Button, and leave.
This instance shows that it is, in fact, how that works, at least in part:
Shang wasn’t an official federal employee yet, meaning he couldn’t access the pump.
No credentials, no access. Most infrastructure like this has physical security like fencing, padlocks, steel doors, and so on. I don’t know if there’s a break-in alarm, but even if not, they’d still have to figure out how to access the pumps and turn them on. They’re probably computer-controlled, so you’d have to get access to the computer system. I’m sure you could override it on the PLC, or just plain hotwire it, but that takes a whole new set of skills.
I’ve got some bad news for you…
If it is locked, the key is usually nearby, and it’s usually the cheapest, least secure, possible lock to buy.
While probably true, morons like these two would be unlikely to get past even those measures.
“oh no. I’m a princeton grad. I’m rich. I work for Elon and Trump. I have authority over everyone here” kind of mentality.
I would not be the least surprised if the sum total of the “l33t h4x0r skills” of these teenagers boils down to knowing the least bit about whatever the latest Javascript frontend framework is, combined with some LLM to help them with it…this is what happens when a whole lot of idiots think that being young == being tech-savvy.
People hand the tech decisions over to complete morons with no understanding and so much Dunning-Kruger that they not only don’t know shit about something like PLCs, and may not have even heard of them, they’ll be too fucking arrogant to ask people that DO know, because, gosh, they might be OLD (i.e., > 30 years old) or something.
“Move Fast and Break Things” for government translates to…
Move fast to give billionaires gigantic tax cuts and break Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.
Move (money to cronies and debtors) fast, break things (people).
So to protect critical infrastructure, when someone says “I’m from DOGE,” the correct reply is “Off you fuck.”
“And I’m from SchruteBuckCoin, we are currently outperforming you in multiple metrics.”
Fucking idiots.
Fucking dumbasses.
Fucking dipshits.
Fucking fucks.
Fuckity fuck-fuck
Dicking dicks.
I’m telling mom
Uncensor your fucking shit for the love of fuck
Fucking idiots
Fixed it for you
Imagine Bryton and Tyler showing up at your workplace in the middle of a crisis to take selfies and tweet about how they fixed your problems.
It feels like the plot of an episode of Parks and Rec, but like, stupider, and not funny at all
If DOGE was a movie, it would be Sausage Party.
Tyler Hassen and Bryton Shang are fascist toadies.
They look like my dad after he finds a new jacket at Costco.
Elon Musk needs to be tried and sentenced to death given the level of his crimes committed in and to the US.
