This is fully sexual assault
But it is for their own good. Without measures like this, they might end up in bathrooms with perv… hey wait a minute. 💡
The craziest part to me is as a parent I’ve gone in the opposite gendered bathroom so many times because places won’t put changing tables in the mens rooms. I’ve never had anyone bat an eye at it either
A mom with a baby isn’t who they want to murder.
Soooo… A guy with a gun in front of every toilet
Good, just what every girl wants to hear! Makes them feel quite safe.
If you’re a minor being questioned like this, start screaming PEDO. Guaranteed they back down once they realize what she said and what they’re doing is quite disturbing
Guaranteed they back down once they realize what she said and what they’re doing is quite disturbing
Cruelty isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. MAGA has a massive cruelty hardon. The dumbth voted for this because they are seething with resentment at being made to feel stupid (by the “intellectual elites”) and backwards (by progressives) and ignorant (by the informed) and intolerant (by the woke). You can literally hear what they’re pissed about in the names that they call people. They WANT people hurt. They WANT revenge. THIS is what the dumbth want.
Well, I want THEM hurt too! I want them to get the peeeerfect caricature of what they believe in, and watch them suffer under.
I want them to be smarter and less hateful. They would be a lot happier if they worked to improve themselves instead of trying to tear everyone else down.
Nope, shout “Fire”. No one comes for rape, I doubt anymore come for pedo. But fire? They’ll come.
I feel like yelling fire will make people run away, not toward.
You would think. But no, apparently most human beings are kinda weird, and mostly stupid. Just look at how people behave behind the wheel of a car, when they are driving past an accident. It could be someone turned into a meat crayon, or looking like Anakin Skywalker after Obi Wan cuts his legs off. People not only break sharply to see whats going on, everyone behind them does as well. Usually creating very slowed down traffic for miles if there enough of them.
I think it has something to do with getting involved. Rape, you have to get involved. Pedo, you have to get involved, fire? You can just watch. I mean, dont quote me on that. Thats just a guess as to why it happens.
Don’t yell Rape, or every MAGA will come running to join in.
She’s not a minor.
You think the genital police can tell the difference between an adult and a child?
deleted by creator
I’ll remember this when I’m an 18 year old minor
Surely “fuck off you stupid cunt” is the only reasonable response to such a request?
Exactly. I would NEVER “prove” anything to anyone. The proper response is to collect their name, the manager’s name, and hire a lawyer to send a letter to corporate.
Isn’t that just called assault?
Yes.
no its called “Making America Great Again™”
In general, it is then appropriate to respond with a pepper (spray)
Someone pulls that shit on one of my kids and theyre getting sprayed alright. .45 acp is close enough to capsaicin right?
Telling someone to leave someplace isn’t assault. The person was clearly an asshole/bigot, but she didn’t ask the lady to show her boobs to prove she was a woman, she told her she had to leave because she can’t be in there.
forced to prove gender
That’s the words in the title but not what the article actually says what happened.
Says that she had to show her breasts or leave. Are you really going to argue the difference in this and “forced”?
Slaves weren’t forced to work! They clearly had a choice to not work and be harmed or killed, as well!
“Mudra said she felt she had to prove to the server that she is a woman, so she unzipped her hoodie to show she has breasts.” No one said “show them or leave”.
When she went to the restroom, a server followed her inside and banged on the stall door while saying: “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,”
Right after your quote:
The server didn’t say anything in response but left the restroom
Yes, I’m completely sure she wasn’t forced to prove her gender. To accuse others of not reading the article, while actively not reading the article is certainly a move.
Nope. They just said “leave” this woman felt that the only way to be able to stay and have a piss was to show her chest.
this woman felt that the only way to be able to stay and have a piss was so her chest.
And we’re defending this why?
Not OP but I am, dammit. “Leave” is not the same as “piss yourself” or anything like - there is no consequence of any kind tied to it, so what is exactly being forceful here? Shit, the girl could just verbally assault the idiot and then leave. No forcing here, stop it, situation is already awful, no reason to add fantasy to it.
Not being able to use the bathroom is being forced to leave the premises.
This is no different than having whites only restaraunt.
Being forced to leave the premises is not being forced to flash breasts. And as I said, situation is terrible, no need to add sexual predation fantasy to it
You failed history class didn’t you?
you’re either being a thick troll or are a fucking idiot.
“Mudra said she felt she had to prove to the server that she is a woman, so she unzipped her hoodie to show she has breasts.” No one said “show them or leave”.
“felt she had to prove” / the young woman was accosted in a private place and after TELLING THE PREDATOR TO LEAVE, the predator REPEATED the demands.
you’re a fucking monster if you can’t see through this. go fuck yourself.
What would you have done to make the server leave you alone? Short of proving your gender
Fling poop over the door. Handful of dookie solves a lot of problems.
It will also put you in trouble with law enforcement.
They can have fistfulls of dookie too.
Username checks out.
STOP ASKING PERFECTLY REASONABLE QUESTIONS!
START ANSWERING MY ABSURD ONES BUT ONLY WITH THE ANSWERS I WANT!
FREE SPEECH!
- The Right
They don’t want to know what happened, they want to be angry.
If the headline is more enraging than the article, they’ll believe that instead.
You don’t find the article enraging?
I do, I think this is more bigotry that has become commonplace because of Republican rhetoric against trans people. The law is dumb and the server trying to enforce it is probably a bigot and a terrible person.
That being said, people are reacting to the headline. The person I was responding to was correctly pointing out that the headline is misleading. It’s easy to point out how bigoted these laws are without completely fabricating information (like the headline is doing).
Pointing out misinformation does not automatically mean the person is defending the actions. Pointing out misinformation is how we keep from becoming like Republican voters, living in a world build out of lies and spin. Downvoting people who are pointing out that you’re being lied to is ignorant and actively makes the misinformation problem worse because it deranks the comments that would help people be better informed.
If you want to litigate the headline, here’s the snippets from the article.
From the article:
When she went to the restroom, a server followed her inside and banged on the stall door while saying: “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,” […] when she came out of the stall at Buffalo Wild Wings and told the server, “I am a lady,” she said, the server responded, “You have to get out now,”[…] Mudra said she felt she had to prove to the server that she is a woman, so she unzipped her hoodie to show she has breasts. The server didn’t say anything in response but left the restroom
The server didn’t ‘force her to prove her gender’, the server banged on the door and said that men couldn’t be in the restroom (which, again, is bigoted and enraging). The woman came out of the stall and unzipped her hoodie to show her breasts to the server who left without saying anything.
The headline is clearly incorrect and written to amplify outrage (in order to drive traffic for ad revenue)
So an adult confronted a child in the restroom, banging on the door and demanding she prove her sex. The implied threat was that if she didn’t, she would be thrown from the restroom or the restaurant entirely.
You are using a deliberately thick-headed definition of “force.” The word “force” does not literally mean physical force. It means coercion, manipulation, requiring someone to do something against their will for fear of consequences.
I’m taught courses before. I don’t "force " my students to take exams. I’m not going to go to their home and frog march them at gunpoint into my classroom to take my exam. But anyone in my class is forced to take any exam I give, if they wish to pass the class. It’s optional in a philosophical sense, but not in the practical sense.
You’re splitting hairs because this is a trans-related topic, nothing more.
So an adult confronted a child in the restroom,
We don’t know the age of the server and 18 is an adult in the US.
banging on the door and demanding she prove her sex.
These are the only recorded statements of the server based on the victim’s testimony.
“This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,” […] “You have to get out now,”
Which of these sentences is 'demanding she prove her sex?
The implied threat was that if she didn’t, she would be thrown from the restroom or the restaurant entirely.
There was no ‘if’ (see the two sentences above), she was told to get out of the restroom.
I’m taught courses before. I don’t "force " my students to take exams. I’m not going to go to their home and frog march them at gunpoint into my classroom to take my exam. But anyone in my class is forced to take any exam I give, if they wish to pass the class. It’s optional in a philosophical sense, but not in the practical sense.
They are required to take the test, you do not “force” them. If someone said ‘Teacher forces children to take test’, the implication is that they didn’t have a choice because you are forcing them.
Here too, the woman was not “forced” she chose to show her breasts. Forcing implies the inability to do otherwise. The people in the comment section are reacting to the headline as if the woman had no choice but to show her breasts to the server. This is not true.
You’re splitting hairs because this is a trans-related topic, nothing more.
🙄 In the courses you taught, did you force your students to learn the term ad homenim?
Would she have been left alone if she hadn’t proven her gender?
It’s gross that the victim of this scenario is now made public and yet the sexual abuser identity here is protected? Wtf.
It’s also worth mentioning Buffalo wild wings in the comments. Because they apparently don’t have enough policy to keep their servers from trying to gender check people.
It’s also worth mentioning there’s only one BWW in Owatonna, Minn.
I doubt there are two of anything in Owatanna. Except maybe Holiday (gas station owned by Couche-Tard)
The Republican way
This was by design. Anti-trans fear-mongering was always meant to punish men who don’t look manly enough and women who don’t look like 50s housewives. The cruelty is the point.
I’m pretty sure it was also meant to punish trans people, but yeah, those things you said as well. That’s a feature, not a bug.
And this is in a state with no anti-trans bathroom laws. This server has no excuse other than being a complete piece of shit. Wish they’d name and shame her.
Based on the article the server is a woman.
“She made me feel very uncomfortable,” Mudra said. “After that, I just don’t like going in public bathrooms. I just hold it in. … I want to be able to use the bathroom in peace.”
My point still stands, but thank you for the correction. Fixed.
can we switch to gender neutral bathrooms please?
But can you prove your gender is neutral? 🧐
All I know is that my genitals say “maybe”
Two magic 8 balls and one of those tubes that goes wuuueaugh when inverted
What makes genitals go neutral?
Lust for gold? Power?
It’s when your crotch is flat, obviously, like a playmobil
If you’re completely flat then there’s your proof
You can show them your flat pics
I’m as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.
Alternative version: you show them your intersex official member card™️
No, my gender is hostile.
Then you need to use the one with a picture of a goose on the door
Yes
In a society where women are often harassed, many women use bathrooms to escape men, even if just for a few moments of peace.
The problem is, with women like this server around, you can still get harassed in the bathroom even with no men present. So I’m not sure it has much value as a refuge at this point.
My wife has shared so many crazy stories of shit going down in women’s restrooms. Like, men just do their business and get out. It’s one of the few things you could argue isn’t toxic about masculinity
Everywhere needs at least one single occupancy gender neutral restroom.
But saying that, I’ve been harassed while trying to use a porta potty. Can’t win for losing.
There was a place in Japan I went to that had 2 bathrooms: one gender neutral and one women’s room. I don’t know if that solves everyone’s problems (or anyone’s) but I thought it was interesting.
If you’re being harassed, I feel like going is a closed space like a bathroom is probably the worst idea possible
She should press charges for harrassment.
I consider this a sexual act on a minor, so file a police report.
She’s 18. It’s the second word after the headline.
Yah but, like, she works in a coal mine.
mb
4096?
42 actually
But they didn’t know that. So file anyway 😈
Welcome to Republicans’ America. This comes right after Trump’s administration started forcing trans folks out of the military, yet denying them retirement benefits. People with 15-18 years of service to our country that had been previously approved for early retirement have now had that rescinded because they are “medically unfit”. The hatred is in full force…
having their retirement stolen from them is fucking vile
I’m actually surprised that I have not heard about people dying as a result of this
I’m surprised there haven’t been lawsuits around breach of contracts
Early retirement is a privilege not a right. At least that’s how it works in the Military.
It’s not like retiring is their choice, they’re being kicked out.
I know, which is why the packages are being denied. The packages won’t be approved because they don’t meet standards. It’s bullshit because the standards changed under them, I was in a similar boat when I was in. But that’s how the system works
That’s a weird passive-voice way to say “the system was weaponized against them.”
Younger people are generally easier to groom. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, The Hitler Youth movement
It’s worse… My understanding is that you didn’t really have much of a choice about joining the Hitler Youth
Indeed, in 1922 certainly more like heavily encouraged boy scouts / girl guides. Be there or be a bit excluded from the social club. Compulsory by 1936. Trump in 2025 is starting with the schools, “burning the books” and imprinting his way. It won’t be long. We already have the SA with ICE and expect the SS. History is repeating whether by plan or otherwise.
It seems like these news stories only get written when the victim is a cis person mistaken for being trans.
It’s because trans technology is so advanced that they all pass undetected. /s
In all seriousness, I think it reflects just how distorted the anti-trans bigot’s perception of reality is and how enabled they feel to act on those perceptions. These people believe that trans people are more common than they actually are and they are hyper-fixated on proving it.
I think your critique of the “not a problem until it affects me” nature of this is valid; however, this also signifies that transphobia is becoming less rhetorical and more actionable. That is terrifying for anyone who doesn’t meet the arbitrary socially acceptable expressions of gender.
My hope here is that more people will come to realize how stupid transphobia and gender/bathroom policing is when they start to realize that it affects them, too.
There are way more cis people.
That is the default settings.
The last one before this I read was an ftm guy, Luca Strobel, who had to use the woman’s bathroom since there were no stalls in the men’s.
https://lemmy.ca/post/45048725 https://lemmy.world/post/30614642
Though, those publications are considerably less mainstream, so you still have a point.
Everything about that is just fucking awful. And who even makes a toilet with no stalls?! Do men not need to shit? Wtf
One thing is that these are the stories that actually have some vague chance at swaying a person that thinks we should be policing trans use of bathrooms. If they see more trouble and harassment of the class of people they think they are protecting, maybe part of them has to see it’s doing even more against their cause than the alternative.
Another is that trans people are relatively more rare, so it just makes plain sense that this will usually happen to a cisgender person. If someone thinks that someone seems not to look like their gender, odds still are that they are cisgender just by the numbers.
The biggest group affected are most likely ciswomen, since people love to control how women look and act, and there’s just way, way less transwomen in the toilets. Meaning the most commonly happening effect of these crazy bathroom laws is basically punishing ciswomen for not looking feminine enough
Pretty sure you’re right that there’s more articles about cis people being “inconvenienced”. However I can think of at least 3 reasons off of the top of my head:
-
there are way more cis people than trans people. While I strongly suspect that a larger percentage of the trans community is affected compared to cis people, purely by numbers it’s still more likely to affect cis people more frequently just because there’s so much more of them. Depending on which statistics you listen to only 0.5% - 3% of people are trans.
-
trans people (and especially the ones who do not pass particularly well) are more likely to avoid public bathrooms now. Cis people are more likely to not expect any issues and not think twice.
-
Apparently a decently large part of the right wing voter base would agree with trans people being denied entry into bathrooms. It’s what people decided this “law” was for in the first place (not that that this law was even applicable here). However if you show those same people that someone they empathize with also is negatively affected that’s more likely to lead to change.
-
What an absolute fascist restraunt
you keep using that word… i do not think it means what you think it means
You’re right, BWW probably isn’t fit to be called a restaurant
arguing with absolutism vs expediency i see
It looks we’re one step away from someone having to physically “verify” someone’s gender.
“I only inserted my fingers into their vagina to make sure that it was real.”
“I touched their penis to confirm that it was indeed real.”
… and I feared for my life from the genitalia touchers, so I started blasting.
https://imgur.com/gallery/cats-dont-draw-BG6ex7S
Alt text - A comic of an androgynous person being asked “Hey are you MALE or FEMALE”. The person’s response is “Yes.” A follow up question being asked “Ok but which do you prefer”. Response “Cats” (with a little heart). Another follow up question is being asked “No I mean what’s in your pants?!!” The person raises their shirt to show a pistol underneath the waist band of their pants with their response “A gun”.
With a gun, right?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
