I know the most common advice is to join local groups/clubs, but my town seems to only have religious, DnD, and MtG groups publicly posted, and as much as I’ve tried I just can’t get into playing DnD/MtG
Does anyone have any app recomendations they’ve had luck with, or other advice?
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Social sport is good. No pressure to be skilled, people can be really encouraging and the ones that aren’t move on pretty quickly. You don’t need to be good, you just need a good attitude.
Host a platform. Print out flyers and stick it around in your area.
Your local area would be the best place to start
Start your own group.
I would recommend looking for volunteer opportunities. Be open, what exists around you may not be exactly what you want to do, but it you’re doing something positive, the journey will make it worth it.
Are there any climbing gyms or bicycle rides?
^ chill folks that will likely be into a variety of things you might also be. will be helpful and nurture the stoke
They really are! I’ve brushed against these climbing communities before and long been drawn to go (for many reasons haven’t). Why is this? Why does it seem like this attracts chill people?
Lately I’ve realized I need to get back into some sport again, whether that’s pick-up soccer, racquetball, climbing or something… Good for the soul. Too old for hockey now, I think lol.
my experience with climbers is they are anti-chill, and they have like nothing else going on in their life other than climbing and treat it like a religious cult. so i avoid them now.
I first thought it may be some of the common reasons or qualities possessed by the people that seek or find climbing, but it might also be what is learned through climbing… you build strength, practice trust, patience, safety, care, curiosity, likely an adventurous spirit. Usually attracts people that are generally interested in the outdoors or earth, which apparently are often just kind, open-minded individuals. Many people trying to find themselves or just better themselves. May just be going for stoke.
this is precisely why i avoid climbers. they have this holier than thou mentality.
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I recently went to a pottery shop for a christmas event. I bought a piece from a woman there, and as she excitedly told me about some of her projects, I shared some of mine. It seemed like we had a lot in common, so I said “I think we should be friends” and gave her my number. She texted and tomorrow we’re going out for karaoke.
I made friends with my dog’s groomer the same way. If you vibe with someone you meet in the course of life, you can act like a child and just straight up invite them to be friends.
Is there a physical community notice board somewhere? Failing that, a local library? (The librarians would probably know where to find some sort of community notice board.) Those things often have group activities posted.
Unsure how common it is in smaller towns but in my city moat bars have event nights whether they’re trivia, karaoke etc. Or, sounds weird but even going, sitting at the bar and watching a game has, in my experience, often led to conversation.
If there’s an activity or skill you’ve been wanting to get into, you could try taking a class in that. You’ll meet some other people at your approximate skill level, and it’s an opportunity to socialize.
I’ve personally met a lot of people through climbing gyms and dance classes, both activities where you’re often paired up with one other person. Bouldering is great for smalltalk as well, because people are often eager to discuss approaches to the problem.
Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve also met some friends through work colleagues. A colleague of mine was going hiking with friends and invited me along, and since the friends didn’t work in the same company as us it felt disconnected enough from work for me at least.
Sometimes the DnD/Magic crowd will crossover with boardgames, of that interests you?
I guess I would start by checking social media for and even semi local groups fucked on something you are interested in. Might be a long shot because most social media is so enshittified, though…
Got any stuff that’s just collecting dust in a corner, but could be useful to the right person? Look for a free cycle group maybe?
And …uh, that’s about all I can come up with. That does sound frustrating, but don’t let it get you down! Human connection is what it’s all about, I believe. Hope something works out for you soon!
Walk around your neighborhood and open your eyes to what organizations and institutions exist.
Try sports, gardening, making art, music, and look for shared workshops used for woodworking, car or bicycle enthusiasts, and such.
There’s also always the option to announce your own event, meetup, or activity.
More adventurous route: get addicted to drugs or gambling and then go to self help groups.
I giggled a little too hard since I actually ended up in a psych ward while moving cross country and made some friends there. Unfortunately my stay was 2 states away from the one I live in now so not even that worked out lol
But thank you for the advice and I think I’ll check out joining sometype of sport, most likely rock climbing(always had an intrest but never the motivation) since that seems to be widely recommended and just seems like a fun time even if I don’t end up meeting anyone
If you do something you enjoy, you will attract other people who enjoy the same things.
There are plenty of local, secular, community service groups. I know it’s associated with old people, but my local Rotary club has a lot of good people and we do a lot of good in the community. This isn’t the only option, there are lots of community service organizations and it’s a great place to meet people.
Local Discords are hit or miss, but at least where I live (mid sized city) there are several for various hobbies and activities. There’s also one for the city itself that’s active. People on the city channel mostly bitch about local news/politics, but will try to help folks looking for social groups.
Nextdoor has a shitty reputation (for good reason) but sometimes you can find a few sane / helpful people on there, too. They might be able to at least suggest some local groups and events in meatspace.
I find it helpful to start by looking for hobbies you enjoy for the hell of it and then seeing if there’s a community around that. Making friends seems to be a bit easier when there’s a shared activity to chat about. For example, I took up acoustic guitar and met a lot of people who like to jam together. Also started learning a type of dance and got involved in the community by attending classes and socials. My buddy met his main friend group at a rock climbing gym when he took up bouldering.
For apps/websites, I had luck attending a few Meetups, e.g. like for people learning a foreign language who want to practice with each other. Some people join rec leagues or attend tabletop game nights.
I personally don’t use social media much but it can be useful to see if there are any local events to checkout nearby.
It really depends what you’re interests are. If you like art, start checking out artsy spaces and public events. If you like games try hanging out in game or card shops. It took me 3-4 months of showing up to art/music festivals before I started running into people I recognized and felt comfortable chatting up. My experience isn’t universal, but as a socially anxious person it required a lot of discomfort and patience.
