There has to be a better system than this.

  • misterundercoat@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Don’t wait until retirement. Balance your life now. It’s going to be a long slog.

    You don’t need to find an amazing career that you’ll love doing until you die. People who get that are extremely lucky, and it’s not the norm. You just need a job that will support you while still giving you time to do the things you enjoy.

    Follow this: https://youtu.be/YHxwY3Fz2gU?feature=shared

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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      10 months ago

      As I tell my kids repeatedly. I am the exception not the rule!

      It’s so bloody annoying a 13 year old is supposed to know what they want to do with their life. I fell into my career in IT at 25 after dropping out of college twice, running my own business unsuccessfully and generally doing my best to survive. Now I make 150k which is both too much and not enough money.

      Point being, do what’s right for you and only you.

  • MelodiousFunk@startrek.website
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    10 months ago

    Live with underlying existential dread for decades. Watch as “doing what you love” becomes “hating what you used to love because you’re forced to do it so that there’s enough numbers in the computer to prove that you’re worthy of continued existence.” Contemplate the pointlessness of it all on a daily basis. Be reminded that your feelings are invalid because “other people have it worse” every time the topic comes up. Nod listlessly as “successful” people tout their own hard work while ignoring any factor luck and privilege played, then tune out when they shift into the dissonant duet of “I succeeded because I am exceptional” and “anyone can do the same if they just work harder.”

    Wake up the next morning and realize there’s roughly 30 more years of this, barring a massive coronary or aneurism or something.

  • hollyberries@programming.dev
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    10 months ago

    I dealt with it by choosing to not have kids years ago. I didn’t ask to be born, and I refuse to force that on anyone else.

    Once things become too difficult, I’m pulling my own plug.

    • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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      10 months ago

      How are you going to pull your own plug if the country you are in suddenly makes a law to prevent you from doing that?

      • JoBo@feddit.uk
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        10 months ago

        Laws against suicide are notoriously difficult to enforce, for obvious reasons.

      • hollyberries@programming.dev
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        10 months ago

        It already is illegal, and euthanasia while “tolerated” is also illegal to perform by a medical professional.

        What are they going to do, arrest a corpse? Fine by me.

        • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
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          10 months ago

          I’m not suicidal, but I have considered how nice it would be to diary in a date where I think “yep, i’ve had a titsful of life now, time to fuck off to sto’vo’kor” or whatever.

          The only thing that stops me taking it seriously is the prospect that it may be subjecting others to criminal investigation or court process.

        • aksdb@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Lock you up with suicide watch. So essentially sleep deprivation by keeping the lights on and checking up on you every 15 minutes.

      • amio@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        A lot of places have those laws already. They aren’t stopping anyone. What, someone suicidal is supposed to go “oh, guess that’s not allowed” and regain their will to live?

  • HorseChandelier@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Don’t hold on to things you haven’t done before you retire… It is a waste of time and regretting not doing stuff, which lasts for moments, is the folly of youth.

    Also what/who you want to do changes as you get older…

    /sauce greybeard who is 10 years off retirement.

  • Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Here’s a hot take. Do what you want when you are young. Find a way. I spent my 20’s moving around, having shitty but fun jobs. I travelled. Saw all kinds of places and met all sorts of people. It wasn’t easy and sometimes it wasn’t fun. I found myself homeless even several times. I still wouldn’t change any of it. I found a wonderful partner and we moved together for a while before settling and having kids.

    In my early 40s I was diagnosed with a really rare cancer that paralyzed me from the chest down for a year prior to surgery and left lasting disabilities following. Now in my 50’s with declining health I am so glad I lived. It means I don’t have a lot of things others have but I’ve never cared much for the Jones’ anyway. If Cancer taught me anything it’s fuck society and their expectations. Do you. Find a way. Be happy.

    • ____@infosec.pub
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      10 months ago

      Would love to talk further with you. Mid 40s, narcolepsy, and some doubt that I’ll make it to retirement age in a way that makes SSA pay meaningfully.

      Struggling thru the next twenty or so years seems like hell. Love my job, but doesn’t make up for the mess that is life for me.

      On top of that, I made promises to my wife of fifteeen years, back when, and I’m bent on keeping them.

      My disease is hardly akin to cancer, but I think you have some collected wisdom that would make a meaningful differentlce in our lives.

  • hightrix@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    The alternative is much worse. I don’t want to be poor and/or homeless. I want to be able to take vacations and not worry about surprise expenses. I want to actually be able to retire someday.

    The alternative is a much harder life to live, in my opinion. For me, giving up 40ish hours a week for the peace of mind it worth it. Yes, work is not how I’d prefer to spend my time, but it allows me to spend the rest of my time doing as I’d please.

  • Pofski@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    A pivotal piece of advice once shifted my perspective on work. It was put simply: ‘If the thought of retirement is your main motivation, you might be in the wrong job.’ This implies that if you’re constantly counting down the years to retirement, you’re essentially wishing for time to fly by quicker. But those years are valuable, and letting them slip away in anticipation of something else isn’t worth it. The key is to find a career that reduces your stress and enhances your life now, not just in the future. While financial security is undeniably important, it’s also crucial to recognize when you have enough and to prioritize your well-being and happiness in the present.

    • Lonnie123@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Its an interesting sentiment… but ultimately it just rings a bit hollow yeah? As if nearly anyone would work 40 hours a week if they didnt have to. You think if 100 people were given enough money to cover their housing/food/leisure/travel they would go to a factory job 40 hours a week? Or even a job they enjoyed or had fun at? Or would they spend their time with loved ones, doing things they enjoy, filling their lives with interesting experiences they can enjoy in the moment and reflect back on?

      I enjoy my job quite a bit, It even has value to me in that it contributes to society in a fulfilling way, but 100% I am looking forward to not being obligated to do it

  • soli@infosec.pub
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    10 months ago

    I’ve pretty consistently chosen less hours and better working conditions over pay since I started to have that choice. It’s made it a lot more tolerable. I’m currently on a four day week, with a minimal commute, good perks and a relatively stress free job that I took a pay cut for. My retirement savings look pretty slim, but due to my health the chance of a long one isn’t much higher anyway.

    Not without it’s issues. Pay is pretty significantly below the median. Fortunately I’m not interested in having kids and I’m content living cheaply, even if it sounds boring. But I’m in a weird dead zone for government support; for instance - if I earned more, there are programs for “middle income” housing and the like that I earn too little to qualify for. Low income housing programs are a joke - with wait times being as much as a decade -but even if it wasn’t I’m not high priority anyway. Also no way on earth I’m ever getting a home loan, even though mortgage repayments would be less than rent and I could conceivably make the deposit.

  • letsgo@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    Plan the things you want to do into your life. Drop the notion “when I retire I will…” If you can fit the stuff you want to do into your Annual Leave then that’s a big win. If not then you’ll need unpaid leave. One good time is between jobs.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    Maybe this isn’t the answer you’re looking for: my job is my passion and the idea of retiring sounds horrible. I image it will only happen when I’m too senile to keep doing what I love, and that’s clearly not something to look forward to. But who knows… I know old people who are tired and just want to rest.

    (I got lucky, since I happened to be passionate about computer programming. I know most other people don’t have the same option.)

    • kratoz29@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      (I got lucky, since I happened to be passionate about computer programming. I know most other people don’t have the same option.)

      When I was in high school I was very passionate about PC stuff (I mainly used Linux) and while there were not many careers about this where I live the few related ones I stayed away from them because I felt like turning your hobby into your job would get rid of the fun of it (I still think it to a degree, I see it in many hobby type sectors, like gaming).

      I kinda regret my decision nowadays though, but still I feel I wouldn’t enjoy my hobbies with timelines and crappy bosses, oh and making them rich in the process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
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        10 months ago

        I love computing in general, it’s just fascinating that we put electric into a bit of sand and people can be as creative as making immersive worlds, or be as positive as making lifesaving machinery, or just make Fortnite porn.

        I started my post-secondary school study at college, fucking about on a particular study topic with Visual C++ as it was at the time on a winter evening. The kind of evening where it got dark early, you got up in darkness and went home in darkness.

        It was towards the end of a particular day, sat at a terminal on such an evening, and the lights were so bright that you couldn’t see out of the window but only your own reflection. I saw myself in the window, and honestly thought “fuck, do I really want to be doing this for another fifty years?”

        …so I wrapped it that term, banked whatever qualifications I could, and fucked off into a different field where I’m out of the office at different locations most days. I get the benefit of both having a varied career and meeting people from vastly different backgrounds, while getting to go home and enjoy the nerdy tech life.

        Admittedly, I have gone back to distance learning to tie off that loose end of working towards a degree in the field.

    • marx2k@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      This is exactly where I’m at in the same type of gig. I do get a bit burnt by the end of the day but by 8pm I’m just counting hours until the next day because I want to dive back into the problems I’m working on.

      I feel very lucky I’ve found a vocation that I love and pays handsomely. It’s also working for fed gov so the benefits and work life balance are insanely great. Also, work from home.

      If I went into the private sector I could probably make 50k more but I’m very comfortable now and the chance of me hating my life and job working to try and make someone else rich is not appealing at all. And that’s all if the company doesn’t fold or get acquired.

      Fuck that noise

  • cheeseburger@lemmy.ca
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    10 months ago

    Was just talking about how difficult work is going to make the next three days, so that I can’t wait until they’re over, but that’s another week of my life where I’m wishing for days to pass so I can try to be happy again. Lame. Lame as fuck.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      10 months ago

      If you don’t enjoy your job, try to change it. I don’t love my job, but I like it; and the people are so great that it’s a good fit. We still have to work, so make it something you don’t loathe.

      • cybersandwich@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Yep, and there are definitely ways to reframe work in your head so you can make the super shitty stuff either neutral or even fun in a way. Years ago I used to hate a specific meeting with a horrendous manager and I realized I was getting so sour and jaded leading up to and for a few hours after that meeting. Then one day I made a buzzword bingo card and handed it to my peers. It turned that meeting into an hour of fun.

        I had an epiphany: we could control what we got out of that meeting. My peers and I decided to do random shit like try to leave the meeting with the least action items. Which lead to some pretty hilarious dodging and weaving and (good natured) 'backstabbing"–“I think Sam should do that task since he already has so much experience and you need it so quickly. I’ll shadow him.”

  • FeloniousPunk@lemmy.today
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    10 months ago

    Eventually you get to the point where you age-out of joy. I mean, sure, you try to throw yourself into your work, try to squeeze some semblance of satisfaction out of that dried raisin of a career. But it’s never the same as it used to be. It’s hollow, just like you, and you hate all of it. But what else are you gonna do? So you do your time and go home and stare at the wall; you have no desire to watch tv because it’s all the same bullshit you’ve seen for years. When you do watch tv, usually with your spouse who is little more than a grumpy roommate now. The tv screen is transparent, and you see nothing but the studs in the wall. The family mills about, completely clueless to the misery you are living. Sure you laugh, but it’s without the twinkle in your eye that you once had. You tend to spend a lot more time in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself you want to blow your brains out, but never do. Sometimes you cry in isolation. Most of the time you are numb and you sit there in silence. Otherwise, you pretend to do stuff until nightfall. Finally. You down some sleeping pills, go to bed early, doom-scroll for a few hours until the meds kick in. Lights out. You wake a few hours later, before the rest of the fucking world it seems, muttering the word “fuck”. Not with the frolicking fun connotation of youth, but in utter despair that you awoke at all. Again. So you drag yourself to that mirror, brushing your teeth, put on that hollow smile and start the day over. repeat. And again. And again.

    I’m sorry, what was the question?