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  • 101 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 27th, 2023

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  • I know you mean well, what you’re saying is just the escalation of “if we try to do [good thing] they’ll just do [thing they’re already going to do]”

    There are only two options, Americans go to war against the government, or America goes to war against everyone else. Either way democracy has failed. There will be no 2026 elections. When he illegally cancels the election by executive order and Congress does nothing, like has been happening for the entirety of 2025, who will stop him? No one.

    You can rise up now, you can wait for the elections to be cancelled to rise up, or you can never rise up… always postponing your personal red line. No matter what you do, stop impeding other leftists who have chosen to act from acting. We need at least this most basic level of solidarity where we don’t stop each other from fighting fascism.




  • If you’re looking for inclusive spiritual community you can look for Unitarian Universalist congregations. They’re all over Europe and North America. They’re based on progressive values instead of Scripture so you bring your own deity/pantheon/no deity. They’re basically a spiritual community for the left from Pagans to Christians/Jews/Muslims to atheists and agnostics and everyone else.

    In my area there are a lot of ageing hippies and a lot of millennials and Gen Z looking for community for their children which is a delightful mix. Lots of LGBTQ+ representation as well.

    Could be a useful place to look!


  • Fundamentally this gift is replacing something that has sentimental value to OP. That’s not usually a desirable gift. If someone got you a gift that replaced your favorite [thing] in a way that replaces it you wouldn’t want it either.

    Cheerfully accepting a gift you don’t like is dishonest. Other replies have great honest and tactful ways to accept or reject a gift you don’t like. Op’s approach was hurtful to their partner which isn’t great.

    Returning a gift is normal, that’s why stores issue gift receipts. However, it is a situation that requires tact since it’s easy to hurt someone if done poorly.

    In the long term, it should be easy for you and your partner to do something special for each other where no one has to fake enjoyment. In OP’s case, effort spent communicating now will bring a lot of enjoyment in the future and save a lot of pain.


  • Nobody is a bad person here and both of your feelings are valid.

    As others pointed out, your partner likely put significant effort into the gift and is hurt that the effort was in vain. Compounding that is the fact that you didn’t seem to acknowledge their effort or treat their hurt as valid.

    Your hurt is valid. You got given something you don’t want and now you feel pressured to accept it to appease your partner. It’s in certain ways worse than getting nothing.

    The situation sucks and you’ll both be hurt regardless of how you resolve it.

    It’s probably going to be very important for you two to work out gifts or gift giving occasions. What do you like to do, for yourself or with your partner. Maybe the answer to that question can be part of the solution.

    For the time being you have a few options. You can keep the gift like the others have said, maybe as a backup. Or you can return it. I suggest that if you return it you spend the money on something you both enjoy, maybe a nice date to sooth the hurt.

    Let your partner know that you appreciate the effort that went into this gift. Let them know that you know you’re a hard person to buy for, especially because you’re not very consumerist which means that the things typically for sale won’t appeal to you. Let them know that it’s important for you that you’re both able to express love towards each other and that you want to make sure that the next time your partner expends significant effort for you that they’re able to create a situation which is rewarding for the both of you.

    Then sort out what you’re going to do with this gift. Maybe explain your feelings about using the old device and how the new one can’t do that for you.

    Then make a plan to work out the line term goal of how you’ll give each other gifts/experiences in the future. And actually do it. It might be a lot of work, but it will probably create a lot of joy in your relationship in the long run where there might have been even more pain.






  • Good luck to those two. Unless a significant portion of the military and national guard reject orders they’re just going to get court martialed.

    https://youtu.be/TwPLqGkYnBA

    Basically if you’re in the army you HAVE TO obey orders. “I was just following orders” is enshrined as a legal defense for everything except overtly criminal acts like genocide, killing babies, etc… even if the order was otherwise illegal. On the other hand, disobeying an order you think might be illegal means you will be arrested and held until a judge decides if the order was legal or not.

    The only way this works is if their fellow military members and National guard all refuse to obey these illegal orders to hurt their fellow countrymen.






  • I don’t see how life at conception, or fetal personhood leads to this. If another person attached themselves to you and said “if you detach me I’ll die, I need to stay connected to you for months before I can detach from you in a traumatic way that damages your body” it’s not a crime to detach them. No one has a right to your body. But somehow when a baby does that they have a direct right to your body? When did you agree to this arrangement? When did you lose your right to change your mind?

    I’m very upset that leftists have to cede the scientific fact that life begins at conception to the right. Just because a fetus is alive doesn’t mean it owns your body.

    I’m not disagreeing with anything I’m just mad that we have to take such precarious positions to defend things that I don’t think should need defending.