this is what scares me the most, because I need the money.
I was not scared at all, because it was the very normal thing for me to find a new and better paying job first.
But I was lucky because that asshole boss did rarely actually show up and make my life miserable. He was too busy with making so many others miserable, too.
It seems that everyone already answered, but I will give my perspective as well.
It’s definitely very different for each person. Some people need the money more or less. Some people suffer more in their job or less. Some people have more options or less.
I like to imagine a scale where on one side you have the reasons to leave and on another side you have the reasons to stay. And reasons to leave are multiplied by how many options you have outside.
So if your job is terrible and you’re pretty financially stable and you have a lot of options for finding other jobs then the scale would lean towards leaving. Or if your job is pretty terrible, but you’re not financially stable and you don’t have a lot of options, then the scale would be pretty equal and you’ll have to take a risk.
I call it “the fear”. Being unemployed or underemployed or having the risk of no income fills me with it.
This is why I have two jobs. The second one fills with work until every 5 years it seems I abandon the day job and bulk up on the second job to make ends meet and burn its queue down.
It’s not intentional but it works out that way.
No. I haven’t doubled my salary, but I’m on the wrong side of 40 where I’m happy to be employed in this toxically ageist field.
My wife has done super well and sometimes beats my day job pay cheque, so we finally have that buffer too. And she doesn’t quit her jobs as she’s a super team player and instead gets promoted to fix problems. (Kinda got a crush on her for being so awesome)
Currently at a job where I haven’t slept in 4 days because I am stressed out about quitting. There are too many safety violations and I keep getting in trouble for things completely out of my control. Maybe OSHA will supplement my income for a few months
Break a leg!
Toxic jobs drain your life, even when you leave work you’re worried about work, worried about getting fired from the toxic job…unless you can scrape together a small amount of money saved. If you’re sitting at home spending what little extra you have trying to distract yourself from thinking about work recognize that that cycle will NEVER END. Make it your mission to save every damn penny you can until you have a small amount of savings.
When you have that money, you’ll notice that you’re not quite as worried about being fired because you know you’ll be able to pay your rent/mortgage next money, you’ll have food on the table, and you’ll be able to cover the bare minimum of costs to live. The situation has now changed dramatically because you could quit tomorrow if you needed to, and you’ll be okay next month.
Working the toxic job has now stopped being a necessity, and now its a choice you make. You choose to be there. You have the power now. You can choose to quit and be gone if you absolutely need to and you’re not going to be homeless. Now you work the toxic job not for them, but for yourself. You use that job, as toxic as it is, to get what you need out of it to raise yourself to the next level of what you need to go elsewhere. You’re also not trying to avoid thinking about work because you’re not scared of it. You have some mental capacity back and can start asking yourself what you want to do next, what you need to do that, and how to get those things accomplished. Is it more school? A certification of some kind? A tool needed for your trade? Experience? Maybe you can get that experience at your toxic employer. Volunteer for what the work is that would give you the experience. You’re going to make mistakes in this new work. Make your mistakes there at the toxic employer. Gain the knowledge you need, then start looking elsewhere all.
Find your new/better employer, and make your escape.
Agree with everything else but maybe not this:
You can choose to quit and be gone if you absolutely need to and you’re not going to be homeless. Now you work the toxic job not for them, but for yourself. You use that job, as toxic as it is, to get what you need out of it to raise yourself to the next level of what you need to go elsewhere.
The stress of losing the job is gone from having the money, but the stress of having that job has not gone away. If it is ruining all your free time it’s often good to just GTFO as soon as is reasonable.
I’ve left two jobs because they were toxic. I always had something else lined up beforehand though.
I left a few toxic jobs before. At one I left with my middle fingers in the air, throwing chicken nuggets from a bucket at employees I didn’t like on my way out. And then when I saw my fat manager I just went MOOOOOOO on my way out.
20 years later, still worth it. I still laugh.
I feel like everyone deserves at least one job related “fuck you” style moral victory in their lives and that qualifies for sure.
For me it was when the WORST manager I have ever had called me back a year after I quit to ask me to come work for her again and got to laugh in her face and tell her I’d have happily accepted half the pay at her place to scrub toilets as long as it wasn’t working with her, but instead I was making double what she paid me to do my dream job.
I’ve never done cocaine, BUT I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like.
It scared the shit out of me, but was one of the best decisions I took, on my next job I learned to impose limits from the start.
I managed to find something very soon, but if I were in a similar position nowadays I would first find something new.
I’ve been fired before. It honestly isn’t that bad unless you have absolutely shit financial practices.
Yes but you can get money in many different ways so that’s nice.
Like what? Uber?
Nah Uber is a piece of shit. I meant like selling drugs or hookin’
I am a homeless man in San Francisco because I quit a public sector job that I was not allowed to fix with my good-ass coding skills. I have no regrets.
I’m more afraid of needing the money than not having the money.
Yes, I was terrified, but I was also having a mental breakdown. I called my mom sobbing and she was actually the one who told me to quit. I was lucky that she was around because I leaned on her for about two months.
If you can, look for a job, even if it’s gig work, before quitting. I know it sucks, but finding a job will be your new activity. In the mean time, switch to the bare minimum. Take longer breaks, use sick time, etc. Don’t burn any bridges. Spend time making a really nice resume/cover letter. Maybe even see if you can use some work resources before you tell them you’re out.
If you can’t stand it a second longer, I would sit down and see what you have and how long you can last. Finding a job without a residence (in the US anyway) is difficult, so I would not do anything that would leave you homeless. Let people around you know if you have such people. Tell your friends, parents, etc., so they know that you may be needing support. Do not tell anyone from work until you’re ready to go. Make a budget. Make one for if you have literally no money coming in so you can see the worse case scenario and have that be your starting point. You may even want to look around for food banks and so forth, especially churches during this time of year. It may not be everyday, but they do dinners more often in the winter. Write them down or save them somewhere that odes not require internet/service.
Good luck. I wish you you happiness.
Good advice on leaning on food banks. Yes rice and beans suck every meal. Every bowl you eat just think about how temporary this is. You will one day be able to eat aldis toquitos, pizza and chicken nuggies like the good old days.
I think this really depends on how you quit. If you do it on an impulse, that’s gonna really roll the dice, but if you already have another job lined up and you know the financial hit can be dampened by savings or another way, you might feel a bit safer.
I just heard that my contract can’t be renewed and it runs out in March, so I’ll have too look for something. I have enough time and I already took care of everything else so I don’t have to panic anymore, but the anxiety will be there until I secured another job I’m happy with, and I just gotta deal with that.
My current job is not toxic but it does keep me on my toes and one of my bosses I can’t get along with; he is always suspicious of me and I can’t really deal with that. I just wanna do my job and not appeal to people lol.
This might be a blessing in disguise then. Hopefully you find something you like better!
Toxic jobs really take a toll on your health, especially if you feel trapped in them. Looking for a new job is really a full time job on itself, it can be hard to do so while already working a full time job. If you feel your job is toxic you should start looking for something new right away - whether you’ve given notice or not. I’ve ended up in the hospital twice from the toll toxic jobs that I felt trapped in took on me. Another thing you can consider is diversifying your income. Ie, a “side hustle”. If you have more than one income stream you won’t be quite as trapped. You also will have something to help buffer the transition between your real jobs.
Nope. Because I practice healthy financial habits.
