E: Da Rules
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The teleportation can only be used to move you.
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Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.
Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.
Wish fulfilled and you get teleported between two floors and your just stuck like Robin Williams in Jumanji
Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D
If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you’d be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.
As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).
Username checks out
Just teleport inside him then. Telefrag his ass.
If that works i guess. I’d hate there to be anti-clipping or something.
Oh my God I fucking miss Unreal Tournament. Modern epic games sucks so so much.
To the fridge. For a beer.
I send Elon Musk to Mars.
That’s 2 teleportations:(
I’m not bringing him back and I’m sure as shit not going with him…
The Martians deserve him
Rule 1
Well that wasn’t there when I posted. Who’s coming up with these rules to save Phoney Stark?
OP I would presume.
You’re right that would rule.
Ha
Telefrag Elon Musk, then. His exact position. Assuming this turns him into a fine red mist and we don’t just have the real-world version of “clipping errors” whereby we are both annihilated or merged in some horrible way.
I think the latter would work too.
For you, maybe, not for me.
:3
Jesus Christ it’s a lion, get in the car!
Lol this is the first time i thought of telefragging outside of a game and the rare time outside of Unreal Tournament
I’d say a collapsing star would be a better option
So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I’d open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.
Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I’m going to materialize naked live in air screaming “the end is nigh unless we repent” and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.
Announce you’re a time traveler sent back…
“The rapture started and I was sent back here, God really wants us to stop using fossil fuels”
Planet saved for now but at the cost of giving rise to believes of christian fundamentalists.
I’d rather have the planet slowly cooked still, tyvm.
I’d do the opposite. Crash the biggest event I can find with ample media coverage, grab a mic, explain that I’m projecting myself backward through time from 200 years from now, and that I don’t have much time, and now is when it all goes wrong. To save everyone we need to
[Teleport to my living room]
I’m kidding, of course. I’d probably just waste it on something dumb(er).
I can already hear “The mainstream media is playing tricks on us to keep us from enjoying ourselves by [insert any dumb shit like rolling coal or something]“
Odd train of thought: what would the rolling coal equivalent be for an EV? Just wasting fuel for something that looks cool… So high voltage discharge under the car shooting lightning bolts? That actually sounds kinda cool, now that I think about it, but it is wasteful.
Hell
Aren’t we already there?
Teleport myself into Putin to do the world a favour
Imagine being the one who has to explain that Putin died when another person burst forth from his body like an alien.
Would it be like a chest burster alien, or more like what Neo did to Agent Smith?
Asking the important questions!
The Fly.
Telefrag from Unreal Tournament
People would assume you used some sort of weird explosive
“Look, nobody’s going to believe I just materialized here as opposed to evading your security check. How about we work together on getting out of here by blaming Gerasimov or Shoigu?”
Through what mechanism am I being teleported?
Can I be teleported to the origin of it?
Do I have to use it on myself, or even a living being? Any constraints on size, weight, accessories?
updated the body!
Teleport to Vatican the moment a mass happen right in front of the pope. Then claim to be the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Into the core of the Sun. With the pressure and temperature I guess it will kill me before I can notice. A quick, painless, and rather unique way to die.
Cause of death: “Crushed and burned by Sun’s core”What?
Who’d know?
The guy running this simulation
I should probably use it to telefrag one of the active, living war criminals or one of their influential lackeys, but it’s kind of hard to choose.
I can think of a couple of good candidates for a telefrag, or a very unexpected high speed kick to the nuts.
Home from DnD tomorrow because I don’t have a car and it’s COLD OUT
telefrag.
Select target
Peter Thiel
Based
The sun.
