Instead of “et cetera”, the speaker says something akin to “dut da da”. Drives me crazy!

“Boys will be boys.”

Fuck you Tom! That’s how you react to your brat violating the bodily autonomy of another human beeing!? Hearing you say that means he feels it’s normal, he’s got permission and that it’s good masculine behavior. You’re teaching your son to be an asshole instead of a functioning human being. Boys will behave better if we teach them to, so you better pick up the slack and join the rest of us in raising your fucking child!

“I call it as I see it.”

“I’m just very straightforward and honest.”

No, you’re a prick. That’s what you are.

Eh…

“It is what it is.”

If you don’t have anything valuable to add, say nothing. Like, silence is okay.

Oh there’s one I hate to no end.

To make a superlative, in Spain there’s this sentence that it has become popular:

[whatever adjective]? not, the next thing
Tall? Not, the next thing
Difficult? Not, the next thing
Expensive? Not, the next thing
Blue? Not, the next thing

What the fuck is the next thing?

It was uninspired 15 years ago, now is just infuriating when you hear it five times in the same conversation.

I’ll be honest, I’ll be honest

“No offence, but …” followed by an insult.

Or starting off with an insult, then ending it with “Just saying …”

As if these phrases nullify being a dick. If you’re going to be an asshole, own it. Don’t make excuses up.

People who add periods to their acronyms (which is unnecessary to begin with), and then omit the last period.

When talking politics:

“It’s plain as day” “Common sense” “I don’t know about that” “We all know” “It’s just natural” “Normal” “Everybody (verbs) (x)”

Like that kind of stuff irks me in normal conversations but when we are talking about something that is part of common debate, obviously it’s fucking not already known “common sense”, and dismissing evidence that clearly contradicted it by saying “I don’t about that” or similar just sends me.

It’s a problem with trolls, strangers, and even loved ones for me. It’s just wild

“Look, all I’m saying is…”

Yeah I get it. You’re not going to acknowledge what I just finished saying, you’re not going to respond to the facts that contradict you, and you’re just going to reiterate your oversimplified and shitty opinion, hoping to slip away from this argument that you’re losing.

“Most people think ___.” No, unless you’re citing a statistic or roughly quantifying how many anecdotes you’ve heard agreeing with you to support that statement (both of which rarely happen), that’s just your opinion wrapped up in language to avoid actually justifying it.

Additionally, even if most people think something, I don’t care what most people think. In my experience what most people think vs what the best thing to think is are often not aligned.

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In writing: “A Masterclass in X” to describe some sort of exemplary behavior. Hate hate hate seeing it.

I’m more forgiving with spoken language, but agree with the use of “literally” to mean “figuratively”, it bothers me.

And in niche hairstyling lingo I hate when people use the word “micro-plopping” to describe scrunching or blotting with a cloth, because that technique precedes the word by at least 25 years, it wasn’t invented recently and didn’t need a new word. Plopping is tying your wet hair up in a cloth in a accordioned arrangement for awhile, and scrunching is just scrunching. What they are describing is better explained by saying they blotted with a cloth and/or scrunched with a cloth.

“Ding ding ding!”

I think it’s condescending as fuck.