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I imagine everyone made a deal that if you die in the game, everyone must pretend you don’t exist.
Let the games begin!
The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.
This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That’s seriously fucked up …
Jack chick was an insane evangelical Christian who genuinely didn’t understand stuff like how he came off to non Christians
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
My kids got one instead of candy for trick-or-treating one year.
I find that one really funny because yeah as a pagan it is my most solemn holiday of the year, I light a candle for my dead loved ones and have a nice little chat with them hoping they can hear it somehow. You know, normal stuff people do to honor the dead.
ETA: It also marks the beginning of the season of death, where the days keep getting shorter, it keeps getting colder, and life rapidly winds down for the winter. It’s a good time to reflect on endings and to remember that endings lead to new beginnings.
That ritual is not on the pre-approved list. You must go through the proper channels. Your deviance has beed noted.
But in all seriousness, this is exactly how these reactionary evangelicals want to control people: take things that are perfectly normal human activities and put them exclusively under the purview of their own structures and hierarchies.
…wow…my whole country is full of satanists, cuz we mourn the dead - admittedly day after halloween, which are only recently slowly adding - instead of being festive.
And it’s christian holiday soooo…lol
My parents unironically believe this. I’m fairly pissed, I love Halloween, and it is on my bday.
The after church crowd used to leave them instead of tips at my first restaurant
Oof. At least it’s not the fake $20 bills, I guess? Real asshole move either way.
I had one left on my door once, and in the most amazing time my gyno office had a huge random stack someone left and I took every single one.
Handed them all to friends to see the batshitness.
Guy use to go to conventions and hand them out.
Definitely still do.
It’s not actual propaganda per se, evangelicals in particular are trying to provoke a reaction they can try to litigate. It’s a grift.
Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play
“Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What’d you bring?” “Fish sandwiches.” “I… Um… Thanks, Jesus… Anything to drink?” “My blood.”
Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine
Sounds like a good dinner to me
Related XKCD What If - “Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person’s blood?”
Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.
Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood
That one VTM player: “Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God’s son and childe?”
Jesus is a lich
The cleric version of a lich is a Mummy Lord.
Jesus is Mumm-Ra?
*terms and conditions may apply
Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.
But you need the sourcebooks to learn the spell…
Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!
So, theoretically, it’s not worth it.
All I get from that is that D&D gives you super powers, and the author of that comic is envious because they never got invited to play.
Especially on a table with 3 women
$200? What, she got like two books and shitty generic plastic figures? Big deal.
The inflation calculator that I found online says that’s the equivalent today of about $600 compared to the mid 80s when this was written.
But yeah, that is underwhelming for having literal magic powers.
She was just a lowly 8th level cleric
Whenever I see any of this guy’s work I always think of the one that was so absolutely vile even he stopped selling it. Guy’s molesting his daughter, a neighbor finds out, and instead of reporting or anything, wants in. Daughter comes up positive on an STD test at a checkup, and the doctor confronts the guy. Instead of reporting, doctor’s a Jack Chick brand Christian, so just prays with him. Guy goes home and tells his wife about what he’d been doing, and how it’s all okay, because a dead Jewish guy forgives him, so no need to suffer any actual consequences. Wife admits she knew and had been abusing the daughter for having the audacity to be molested. They call the daughter in, and she’s not a teenager or anything as might have been assumed which would be bad enough, but a straight up toddler. So she’s got a possibly lifetime illness, a lifetime of trauma, but it’s all okay, because Jesus.
Lisa, with commentary:
https://boolean-union.com/dissections/boolunion/BU.CHICK.LISA.DISCT.html
Holy shit.
I can’t help but think that Chick was initially going to make it about Henry being gay and getting AIDS from fucking Charlie, but before coming up with the last 2 panels, he realized an even better way to convert people to Jesus is to show how he’ll forgive pedophiles after a single prayer. That or pedophiles have a chance at salvation while gays don’t. I dunno, Chick’s mind is a clusterfuck.
Look at Josh Duggar, that’s the actual ideology of some Christians in America
deleted by creator
What the fuck did you just make me read
Fucking hell, I went to find it and none of this is an exaggeration. Even Chick’s website doesn’t publish it, and there are some deeply repulsive offerings on there. It’s called Lisa, if anyone else wants to make themselves sad
Just roll up a new character with all the same stats and a slightly different name, like everyone else.
Blackleaf’s identical twin whiteleaf is here to avenge her!
Black Leaf is dead!
LONG LIVE GREY LEAF!
Ahh, your brother Black told us about you Mr. Leaf, mind if we call you Grey?
Possible. Though I like thinking about other possibilities. My Tabaxi cleric has led me to produce so many backup characters - a Warlock, a Monk, a Barbarian and a Wizard, though that last one is still WIP, and I’m thinking a Paladin as the Cleric’s old mentor - I could solo run an entire spin-off.
P.S. the cleric is still around and kicking ass, I just did the backup characters for the lulz and for building up his background.
KhajitTabaxi has family, if DM has perilsFamily, friends,
people he’s bonedpossibly former lovers, mentors, acquaintances, y’know, the whole shebang.
Nope, I’m pretty sure RAW says you have to leave the rumpus room forever.
“My name is Bringler Bunderpatch, and you killed my fifth cousin twice removed, Gringle Jimblesnaps. Prepare to die.”
According to the story, if your character dies in-game, by that point you’re so addicted to the black magic that you ultimately can’t go on living without it.
A friend at our table struggles to roll over a 4 on a d20.
Sometimes I think Dark Leaf had it too good.
Me at the table: fuck the challenge rating, let’s do this shit!
… I’m not dead? Well that was boring.
