being mean to animals, not washing hands habitually, littering, leaving the shopping cart out, buzz cut / crew cut and variations thereof (for dudes, some chicks can rock it), having no weird behaviors at all. refusal to be emotionally honest (oh no, its me i’m sorry)
Buzz cut for me screams “I’m an NPC and I have no personality.” At least that’s the first impression it passes to me.
Buzz cut to me screams “I have so much social anxiety, have been bullied so badly, that I don’t trust a barber to give me a good haircut”
Eh, some of us are just balding and it’s the least bad option.
I guess. Though if I ever start balding I plan on going full on egg bald, it looks better to me.
If you’ve got the head shape to pull it off, go for it. You don’t really know until you try it. I tried…
I’m gonna find out soon enough, and I’m worried. I already know I have a couple small bumps on my head (they feel like pimples/ingrown hairs, but I’ve tried squeezing them to no avail), and I’m almost positive my head is shaped differently than normal.
To me, it looks more like social camoflauge. “I’m just a normal guy, i have normal opinions, trust me bro” is the vibe I get. I get putting it on for things like work, but if you decide to blend in as your preferred look, ehh, i dunno, maybe I’d rather hang out with the bear, you know?
i’m probably in the minority w this, but blending in is comfortable as hell, as someone who doesn’t really enjoy being social.
Long after the pandemic was under control I was still using a mask, partly due to health concerns back home, but mostly because with a mask, cap, and glasses, I could walk by people I know but would rather not strike up conversation.
It’s a fucking haircut. You sure are reading a lot into a person based on their haircut.
I just like my hair short and not in my face. :(
right? i mean, i’m balding and i find the alternative of growing the little hair i have left far more unpleasant than just having a buzz cut. but hey, that’s just preferences.
I’m glad you think so, honestly, but most people don’t give a shit about being mean to animals. That’s a hard one to find a like-minded person on.
Fr? Maybe it is just the people I hang out with but I dont know anyone who is outwardly mean to animals. Atleast I haven’t seen it
It depends on whether you think the existence of livestock is ‘mean to animals.’
Ah, in that case everyone I know is cruel. I suppose what I meant was that no one I know is cruel beyond the societal standards.
I would use the same definition as you, but that’s the only definition I can think of that would leave one thinking many people engage in animal cruelty. Unless your entire circle of friends is an illegal dogfighting ring.
Hairy private parts
Being back 70s bush.
Suit yourself, more soft and fluffy for the rest of us.
changing and expecting people to accept that change unconditionally.
diametrically disagreeing with your partner on some important issue of your relationship and only mentioning it way after things got serious.
bad hygiene (for olodumarè’s sake, bathe daily, and if possible brush your teeth at least twice a day).
as mentioned before, being a jerk towards service providers and elderly without reason, and towards kids in general.
bad hygiene (for olodumarè’s sake, bathe daily, and if possible brush your teeth at least twice a day).
I know this is popular in this thread, but how to achieve that? I shower 0-3 a day, with 0 being in days waiting for the washing machine for I have showered too much, and have no clothes remaining.
It seems no matter what I do, someone thinks I accidentally opened a shower on myself by how sweaty wet my underwear is, then proceeds to tell me I smell awful and banishes me from society back to my computer, which is what I would be doing anyway, also that person is the only one that complains and they (singular) can’t handle heat at all.
I just checked and the temperature goes up to 42*, I don’t know how hot that is, since I never look at weather, if it’s hot I bear with it, if it’s cold I
get sick for 3 daysbear with it.Also I only wear winter-y jackets for some reason (A joke that went too far that’s been lasting for 3 years?), people underestimate how good they are at shading, and they come with a built-in hat, and protect your body better than any T-shirt ever could.
Wait did I just answer my own question?
in a sense you did, but some people do sweat too much, beyond what would be reasonable given environmental factors. it’s called hyperhidrosis and can be treated, and you could even find another underlying condition that may cause it, instead of simply bad regulation of the sweat glands or nerves that control them. go check a doctor, don’t suffer for no reason.
I think it’s just because I can’t resist running at full speed whenever I get the chance.
Republican
Having a shitty attitude about anything.
It just seems like you’re not able to enjoy things because you’re just a sour person.
I must be misunderstanding this one. That sounds like you want a person that buries their feelings and pretends to be joyful all the time. It’s perfectly human to have a bad day and on occasion be a little shitty.
If you’re speaking of them being shitty most of the time about most things then I can see your point.
Edit: Grammer is important when trying to communicate without misunderstanding.
Why would I be talking about the first one? Toxic positivity is complete and utter bullshit, and I’m tired of people telling me I can’t complain about other people for whatever reason.
Soundsike someone hurt you bro. This is the Internet, you don’t have to listen to anything randos say. That’s a choice you’re making.
Ya, this dude seems to have a fairly shitty attitude… 🤭
Someone that takes abstract statements personally and responds in anger. It shows a lack of self awareness and depth. It also implies that they have a limited binary view of the world around them; a bipolar me versus others perspective outlook.
Talking over the top of me. If what you have to say is so much more interesting that what I was already saying, maybe you should be saying it to a paying audience somewhere else.
Unaware status-seeking behavior. Almost everyone does it.
Explain?
Humans are all about resources (look at how everyone wants to make more money). Status effectively means access to (human) resources. When you have status, you can tell someone what to do or think and they’ll do it or believe you. When someone does something for you or believes what you tell them, you don’t only have access to your own resources, you effectively have access to their resources as well, so in the end, status is more important than having resources yourself.
The managers/bosses in a company have status. The musicians in a band playing at a pub have status. The pastor at the church has status. The millionaire has status. The politician has status. The teacher at a dance class has status.
These are easy examples. But there are a myriad more, especially more “sneaky” ones. Status doesn’t have to be obvious/institutionalized like the examples above, status is part of every single human interaction.
The “popular friend” has status. For example, they might organize gatherings that people actually come to. If another one of the friend group, that has less status, tried that, less or no people might come. I’m sure you noticed something similar.
Or some gossipy/overly friendly person in the office has status. They make little friends everywhere, give people small meaningless gifts, pay attention what’s happening and offer people information (also a resource) for free. If they suddenly start badmouthing someone (even if that person has not deserved it and only angered them for some trivial reason), they might cause the badmouthed person lots of trouble through reducing their status.
Of course, status-seeking behavior is not necessarily bad. A philanthropic, intelligent, always (actually) being nice person also gathers status. People like them, they say true things that help people, which gives them status. They give people favors, like inviting them for food, which also gives them status. And so on.
As you can see, status-seeking behavior is literally everywhere. Our psyche is built to seek more status and it’s one of our main drivers in life. For example, if you want to get good at playing an instrument, your driving force behind that desire is seeking the status that comes with it. You might say it “is just fun”, but what is fun but a motivational force of your psyche to make you do something? Fun things are fun because doing those things gave an advantage in an evolutionary context. The status that comes with getting good at an instrument and being able to make other people feel good through music is the ultimate “goal” of your evolved behavior.
So yeah, once you understand this, you actually see status-seeking behavior everywhere. And almost everyone is completely unaware of it. I myself am essentially looking for status right now by explaining this to you, I give you a “smart” explanation demonstrating my knowledge that thus makes me look intelligent. There is no direct advantage to me explaining anything to you. It makes me feel good to share my knowledge, which is why I do it. It feels good because demonstrating knowledge/intelligence raises my status.
That’s an unnervingly cold, reductionist, cynical take.
What’s your alternative?
“My” alternative is to not treat every human interaction as transactional maneuvering to curry favor. It’s an incredibly strange commodification of immaterial concepts that rejects or ignores the complexity and nuance of human emotions and motivations. It’s simply an inadequate theory.
Well can you at least please tell me some examples of alternate motivations that governs our behavior?
It’s hard to answer your request because, you see, your statement is like saying: “Everything is just atoms, so everything is basically the same”, it is “reductionist” of higher values, which even atheists have, but the statement itself cannot be denied, nor replaced with an alternative.
Edit: I read your other replies, and you seem to not need this one, to ignore it.
Good response. Though it was a bit wordy.
I know what status means, but I didn’t realise what status-seeking behaviour could be referring to, since it was vague. I know you tried to reduce your response to a level that everyone could understand, but that was unnecessary. People have the internet now.
For future reference you could try defining status in a single sentence, which allows people to look it up in a search engine or dictionary without room for confusion/vagueness.
I myself am essentially looking for status right now by explaining this to you
That’s not true. You’re taking one thought and extending it to try to interpret all of human society with. I’ve made the same mistake before. Of course, your original thought isn’t completely wrong, but you stretched it to almost irrelevant (but not unrelated) levels.
So yeah, once you understand this, you actually see status-seeking behavior everywhere.
No, I’m afraid I don’t. What you call status seeking can be called survival in some cases, enjoyment in some, and a waste of resources in some. Calling it status seeking is a misuse of the term and gross reduction of the behaviour’s quirks.
Perhaps a better term would be power-hungry person. But maybe that’s not the intent of your thought.
It makes me feel good to share my knowledge, which is why I do it. It feels good because demonstrating knowledge/intelligence raises my status.
That all may fall apart when you realise your knowledge is biased too much towards a single concept. Or too narrow minded.
Note: No insult intended, no sarcasm inserted.
- an imperfect human
Would materialism or consumerism, then, be the turn-off? Making more of “possessing” than “being” or “doing” is a real turn-off for me.
And, materialism/consumerism is — truly — promoted everywhere.
True.
You’re taking one thought and extending it to try to interpret all of human society with.
That’s absolutely not true. I’m saying that status-seeking is a part of almost all of our unconscious decision-making processes, not that it’s the sole part of our decision-making process. A part != Interpret all with it. Of course there’s other parts, like you say, survival.
I can not convey all my knowledge and thoughts in a single comment. Even though I tried to shorten it, you still find too long. The “it’s only a part” I found obvious, thus I didn’t stretch it, but you would have needed it to be included. You personally didn’t need the other parts that you found too long. It’s basically impossible to know what you need to talk about when explaining something without a conversation, because we don’t know each other’s knowledge base. It’s even more impossible in a forum-style format, where one comment is read by potentially every human on Earth, each of which have vastly different knowledge bases. What is obvious/superfluous for one is not for someone else.
What you call status seeking can be called survival in some cases, enjoyment in some, and a waste of resources in some.
Do all these things not play together? Isn’t having status a way to survive better? Aren’t the activities that are enjoyable also the ones that allows us to survive (in a non-modern, ancestral world context in which we evolved)? Isn’t having status enjoyable for most?
I feel that you’re 70% on the mark but then why is it a turn-off for you, as you said in your original message?
Part of the 30%:
Status seeking behaviour has many justifications i.e. that it helps smoothen human interaction, to say the least. So why is it a turn-off for you?
I don’t think it helps “smoothen” interaction at all. Of course it depends on the exact situation, like I already described, if it’s about helping other people or not affecting anyone negatively, it’s completely fine.
But for one example, an unaware status-seeking behavior I see very often is having an Instagram account and posting pictures of their life, in an attempt to gain followers. This could not affect anyone negatively… but 99% of the time, it is, because they interrupt moments that should be enjoyed by being present within the moment with trying to get the perfect picture to show to other people what amazing moments they are experiencing.
The “unaware” was as much of a part of the turn-off as the “status-seeking”, maybe even more so. I think if you’re aware of your status-seeking behavior, you’re able to find much better ways to apply it than if you’re unaware of it.
It’s basically impossible to know what you need to talk about when explaining something without a conversation, because we don’t know each other’s knowledge base.
Okay, but in this case “status” was a basic word while the “it’s only a part” was something deeply specific to this conversation. It’s not fair to compare the two.
The abused want freedom from abusers. The enslaved want freedom from the slavers. The poor want sustenance from the rich. The not-poor want greater quality in their life.
None of that is status seeking, unless you twist the meaning. It’s hurtful to call it that.
More common in urban and younger environments
Yes! It’s crazy how noticeable it is when I’m in the city, rather than out here in the boonies with all the geezers. Why do you do that, fellow youngs?
I’ve half a theory it’s a new boomer generation and these things are cyclical, you get a boomer one every third. 70 years back from 20 years old today you find the Boomers. 70 years back from Millennials you find the dirty 30s. 70 back from the eighties you find the flappers.
… Doesn’t that include every generation, calculated that way?
I’m skeptical it’s generational. People just chill out in that way as they age. And not to say the geezers are totally nice either, they just don’t do active dick measuring anymore. They know who’s in the club, and that I’m not, and will throw me a bone out of good manners anyway.
Idk man. The young ones today are self centered and narcissistic as hell.
Absolutely false. It’s a universal truth of our species to seek status, everyone does it.
Your statement itself is essentially an attempt to gain more status. You’re likely not part of “urban” and “younger” environments, thus “badmouthing” them raises your status comparatively.
My telling you this is an attempt to sound intelligent, which raises my own status.
Well you failed.
+1 to being rude to service staff Also MAGA apparel or citing Jesus/God constantly
Can I interest you in this Chick Tract?
/s
It depends. I run a bar and also frequent bars. I see a lot of behavior from wait staff I’d fire them for. Wait staff endlessly bitch about customers but its a two way street, staff develops a blind spot to their own behavior due to spending so much time in a bar.
Bro they are working in a high intensity environment. You are there to have fun. They are talking behind your back. (So how does that affect you?) Versus actively being a jerk to someone just doing their job (which is, unfortunately, to engage with you). It’s not the same.
Are you really trying to explain running a bar to me? Anyways your answer is horseshit. I work in that high intensity environment and see the blinders go on. Innocuous requests by customers turn into staff acting like it’s a massive imposition. They openly talk to me because they’ve been at my bar, served by me, and I know who’s I’d hire and I wouldn’t from the free talk.
Cool story bro.
- Right-wing
- Cluster-B traits
- *-ist, *-phobe
- Prescriptive gender roles
- Smokes
wait, shit, I’m a feminist, guess I’m out
What is cluster B?
What about Claustro-, Arachno-, Haemo-, etc.phobes? Or Cyclists or Scientists?
Cluster B personality disorders - most commonly known for borderline and narcissistic PDs.
Also schizoid IIRC, although that one is not really nasty or dangerous so much as just sad.
Impossible to work with or fix. Just run. Fast.
^^ end of thread here
Cluster-B traits are the bane of my existence.
OK what about vapes though.
Still discusting.
Even worse.
Might be picky but if they don’t return their shopping carts or just leaves it in a parking spot
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Probably. That would be wrong, though. If you’re really sure you want to leave the cart right there just ignore them.
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Ah, and then you go to jail, where you can put your epic tacticool alpha-wolf skills to the ultimate test! Shit fury on them! They’re dead kiddo! /s
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What an excellent understanding of stand your ground laws. /s
Unfortunately no amount of bait will allow you to shoot me through the keyboard.
That already happened to him in Texas hahaha
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Being conservative, being rude and impatient, not understanding that people are human and sometimes just make errors.
Smoking cigarettes
Does this apply to vape and weed?
Yes, but not to the same degree.
Status quo defender
Whimsical, fame-seeking change maker.
fame-seeking
I agree there, lol. I’m not into people who are doing what they do for the fame.
I do all my activism on the sly. Publicly, I’m a status quo defender.
More this for me. I deal with activist drama enough just doing activist stuff.
I’ll have you know, Rockin’ All Over the World is a fine song.
I like it…
Whatever you want…
Being rude to service staff. Immediate indicator on who they are as a person. There is zero reason to ever be mad at someone making near minimum wage whose job it is to grab you a drink or check you out or something. It also shows that they’ve themselves never worked service, which is a rite of passage
“Why should I tip?! I’m already paying for the service!”
Immediately leave without even telling them to take a cab.
Edit: 1, I am in the US, yes.
2: the wording sounded like it implied a behavior of a date while out dining. I was answering based on how I’d respond if a prospective mate treated underpaid US staff shitty.
That is specifically a US problem.
Not necessarily. I’m not in the US, but we’ve imported a lot of their less savoury customs, and tipping culture is one of them. It is costumary to tip 18% where I’m from.
If I am ordering and picking up at a counter fuck tipping. If I’m actually being waited on then I’ll always tip if the service wasn’t dogshit.
I tip in those situations because the $5 won’t make a difference to me, but might to them.
Like, if you’re broke, whatever. But some people are pulling in seven figures annually and still whine about a $5 tip.
Happens to be true in all modern western countries though, only the US seems unable to force companies to pay a livable minimum wage.
