Summary
The Trump administration faces a dilemma as skyrocketing egg prices due to bird flu have forced Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins to consider emergency imports.
With eggs now averaging $8 per dozen (up from $2.25 last fall), Trump may need to request imports from countries he’s recently antagonized—particularly Canada, the largest U.S. egg importer, which Trump has threatened with tariffs and annexation.
Other potential egg suppliers (Netherlands, UK, China) have also faced Trump’s recent hostility through tariffs or threats.
Meanwhile, Turkey plans to export 420 million eggs to the U.S., but this represents less than 5% of monthly U.S. production.
Trudeau should plan a meeting in Ottawa to sign the egg pact, then berate Trump’s ill-fitting suit and say that Canada will slap a 100% export tariff on eggs to the US unless Trump hands over Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.
He won’t, because not even Trudeau is that big of an asshole.
“Canada is holding the egg cards! You’ve never once thanked Canada for our eggs!”
I might just move to Canada if he does that.
Sure, we have a golden citizenship for 20 millions (CAD, makes it cheaper for you). You’ll still be an immigrant tho, so expect our conservatives to tell you your DEI if you work and a parasite if you dont.
Eggs.
Eggs.
Eggs.
If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?
I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:
The Eggsecution.
The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.
They do not jeer. They do not boo.
They simply chant.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.
The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.
Another egg. Then another.
Then dozens.
The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.
At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.
Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.
The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.
It cannot end.
Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.
Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
…spam spam spam egg substitute and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…
I hope Trudeau tells him to pound sand.
Trudeau would be within his rights to tell him to suck off
Or “suck an egg” if you will.
Psalm 69
Zelensky should have brought a carton of eggs to the oval office.
That would be such a power move.
What if we take our remaining eggs and force feed them to trump until he explodes. I would be willing to sacrifice my eggs for that
I’m thinking how he gets his protein has something to do with how putin controls him.
I dont think USA will be getting eggs because Doug Ford just threatened to cut power that we we supply to the US due to the tariffs going into effect tomorrow.
good. let those fuckers that insist on supporting this Russian asset eat in the cold dark silence.
I didn’t support him. I am almost having an aneurysm every day from the lies and deceit that happen. Its going to suck for me and my family when we get the shitty end of the stick from all of this. HOWEVER, not only do I not blame any people or reps who would stand up to the cheeto mussolini but I encourage it. The only way the people who voted him in will learn is from how much it hurts.
I fear our country has fallen and will not be able to come back from it but I still have hope from our true allies.
Checkmate America.
What an odd way to signify 36 eggs
It’s two cartons of eggs, each container is a dozen and a half. Eggs are normally in units of a dozen so keeping that as a consistent unit across multiple brands and styles makes sense. Costco normally indicates how many things are packaged together more than the overall total. It’s useful to know the format.
If it was on tray of 36 eggs the would have used 3 dozen and the indicator to keep it consistent with the standard unit of eggs.
Americans cant do math.
You’re telling me a 1/3lb burger is bigger than a 1/4lb??
/s
. “Twin cartons of two less a score m’lud” is what the egg valet relayed to me.
One of the oldest addages: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
The US is facing rising egg costs because their chicken farms are absolutely massive and susceptible to disease. Ironically a larget network of small farms results in stable prices.
This is a metaphor for all of capitalism.
Well said!
“JK, no eggs for Nazis!”
Does anyone know what’s happening to the tariffs ?
Literally no one. Not even the fuck-wit-in-chief has any idea at this moment.
The White House said they weren’t coming, then Trump got mad and said they definitely were, now the White House is saying they don’t konw it’s up to Trump.
they’re waiting on orders fron putin
Step down, and sure…
Stuff that. We should all say “No” and make him go to his handlers in Russia for eggs.
