Thinking about a conversation I was having with an acquaintance years ago. He was a friend of a friend and we were talking about food. I forget the exact phrasing but I brought up loving avocados. He said “what’s that?” I was a bit surprised and explained. He responded “OH thats crazy I thought that was one of those made up words”. The statement was like a flashbang I had to contemplate for a few minutes. PERSONAL STORIES ONLY, DO NOT INCLUDE A STATEMENT FROM A CELEBRITY OR POLITICIAN.
I have 2 from the same person.
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“Why is it when hockey players stop on the blue and red line. The lines dont disappear”.
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“The reason why there are train conductors is because they turn the wheel at the front of the train so they dont fly off the tracks on corners”.
Maybe not as crazy as some but it definitely made me think twice about other things she knew.
Thats two fantastic ones
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I’m traveling through Portugal at the moment, and an Australian guy struck up a conversation with me on the train yesterday. He and I start talking politics, and he starts talking about how illegal immigration is a massive problem. He’s supportive of mass deportation, and generally likes how Trump is handling things. We debate this back and forth, and then move on to other subjects.
Later in the conversation he reveals, without a hint of irony, that his visa in Portugal has expired while waiting on residence paperwork. I just stare at him for a moment, and then ask him if he realized he was an illegal immigrant. He doesn’t really see the irony. Absolutely stunned.
I was helping a co-worker with their broken phone. Just saving the pictures from their phone to the computer.
Me: ‘OK, I’m just going to make a folder on the desktop for now. You can move it from there to wherever you want to keep them’
Co-worker: ‘I don’t think I have a desktop’
Maybe unrealated, but they are also the most pro-AI of my coworkers. Open to just asking chat gpt for worksheets for thier students…
“I am very sure my husband has no heart attack. I am a homeopathic and this is clearly not a heart attack. You don’t know what you are doing.”
I am a paramedic for 24 years, a critical care paramedic for 16. The husband had such a “myocardial infarction out of the book”-ECG it almost looked twice. He literally almost coded on us twice. And this lady walzes in (funny enough: They were in the process of separating) and after 60 sec. decides she knows what’s up.
Homeopathy therapists here have no formal training. Just a state exam that makes sure they don’t kill someone too often.
The husband barely made it,personally I think mostly out of spite for her. Had a cardiac arrest twice while in the cathlab,but survived without neurological issues.
It’s really really rare that I am out of words and don’t have a comeback. But that woman in that moment?
(For the medical folks: Massive STEMI accross 3 leads, massive contractility issue visible on POCUS, later on become pressure dependended, had VF arrest during PCI, needed an impella for two weeks)
I need to start by stating the fact that I have a perfectly normal nose in a perfectly normal face. At 18 I was a pretty young woman.
Ages ago, first day in university, first lecture. 400 students listening to the professor. A random girl is staring at me for most of the lecture. Afterwards she runs through the crowd in the hallway, catches up to me and says: “Just had to tell you that you rock. You’re an inspiration to me. Looking so happy and carefree, with that nose of yours! I don’t know how you manage.”
What the fuck. What a bitch. Do you think she was being mean/manipulative/evil?
30 years later and I have absolutely no idea. As I rubbed shoulders with her (small department) for the next 3 years I could tell she was self-centered, vain, and sure of her own wonderfullness, but it still doesn’t compute. Well. My nose and I only remember her when somebody ask a question like OP’s.
10 years ago I gave my ex a shaving kit. It came with a dry shaving foam, one of those that work like soap. After a couple of weeks without using I asked him if it was bad to shave, he said “the guy scamed you, this don’t make foam” I was intrigued got the shaving brush WET IT And used the SOAP like dry foam. Worked fine
His answer “I didn’t know I need water to make foam”
Mind you I’m not talking about any dumb person, this man got his bachelors in economics and business at the same time. He had 3 masters and a doctorate. He was very inteligente and was a great person to talk.
I think we god divorced because of how much I made fun of him for that, but for god sake, WATER AND SOAP = FOAM is elementary school shit
Well, to be fair, you are writing about “dry foam”. Shaving foam is wet. What you are referring to as “dry foam” is soap.
This form of shaving is called “Wet shaving” BTW.
I have a question.
Did he know how to use bar soap?
“I had my whole life planed out.” “And then I had you.” Great thing to hear a mother say.
Had a neighbor who thought bunnies laid eggs. I guess because of the whole Easter Bunny thing.
I’ve been trying to convince my kids that bunnies lay eggs for years now, they don’t believe me.
Oooof thats a rough one
“I liked you better when you wanted to kill yourself” Abusive ex to me
Damn that’s a fucking WILD one
He said a lot of uh… memorable stuff😮💨
Well glad he’s an ex then, good luck with future love lmao.
WOAH what a thing to come out of one’s mouth. Like…abusers always have mountains of justifications but something like this…it seems like it’s gotta cut through all the delusion…that’s not a thing a good person can feel, let alone say! Like…realizing you feel that way about someone should be a huge wakeup call that you’re a monster and need to do some serious work on yourself. Saying it out loud…wowee
I can’t remember the context, but a coworker said “I shouldn’t have to care whether the moon gives off light or reflects it.”
I remember being stunned…
TBF there’s a logic to this one. It’s basically a science fact that is unlikely to ever be important in someone’s personal endeavors.
That’s maybe not a Lemmy-friendly kind of person, though.
True, I was mostly stunned someone wouldn’t know that? If the moon emits light, then how would you explain phases?
The lamp that gives off the light is moving around the moon.
Moon’s haunted
Wait, is there someone out there forcing people to care about whether the moon is reflective or emissive?
the moon is actually a mini sun, that’s why gives off light.
(/j if it wasn’t obvious)
Technically all things give off blackbody radiation, of which almost none of which is in visible light at normal temperatures.
Thats pretty funny
Many years ago I worked tech support for a software company. I had one caller who could not conceive that our software couldn’t print to two printers at once. She didn’t want to print to one then the other. She just kept repeating “this is the 21st century” whenever I tried to explain.
Eventually I told her it was a question for her IT and she went away.
Like the same job to multiple printers? I mean technically probably possible, but why?
Two printers will print it faster, of course.
I kinda get where shes coming from, but arguing with the support company like that is crazy.
My fault for being helpful before I suppose.
A colleague saying “I don’t believe in facts”
Are they sure, or is that just their opinion?
Did they mean “I don’t need to believe in facts for them to be true” or “there is no such thing as facts/truth”?
Sounds like a cool guy
My bank does that regularly…
Baddum-tsh.
Appreciated
“You’re an atheist because you want to rebel against God!” - My mother 😭
She read Dom Juan ?
I’m sorry if that was upsetting to you to hear, but that’s actually sick as fuck and a way cooler reason to be atheist than just cuz religion is implausible
New bandname unlocked: Rage against the creator
Oh, no worries, I was more incredulous than upset. We had talked about religion at length over the years and even managed to nudge her away from organized religion at this point (thank god). I thought she understood where I was coming from, and then out of the blue, she tells me this on the rare occasion we argued, and I’m speechless.
Was she wrong 😉
Okay fine personal one’s first:
- I once overheard someone saying it was hard to go left on a round about because the entrance slopes right…. As in they were not using a round about like a round about. (Tbf the round about in question was originally an intersection that was poorly modified into a roundabout)
- I had a psychopathic roommate who, when I called him on it, flat out admitted that given a choice between killing himself or thousands of others he’d choose the mass murder option. I also once asked him if he thought slavery was morally acceptable and his response was “if it would benefit me then yeah.”
Famous Quote I originally put because I didn’t read the whole post before commenting lol
“Darwin realized that animals are far less likely to reproduce when they’re dead” -Philomena Cunk
Stunned because I was expecting nonsense, but ended up hearing what is now my favorite description of evolution ever. It just makes evolution seem entirely obvious, like it’s stupid we took so long to make that realization.
given a choice between killing himself or thousands of others he’d choose the mass murder option
First of all, that wouldn’t be murder. If the only other option was your own death, it would be self defense.
Not saying it would be the moral choice, but it wouldn’t be murder.Secondly, most people would choose that option, when given those choices.
I’m sure about this, because people are put in that situation in war, and I’m not aware of any known cases where a soldier simply refused to fire their machine gun for moral reasons, when thousands of enemy soldiers stormed towards their position.I love you. I’m off to google this Philomena Cunk person but I love you for her quote. It’s absolutely brilliant.
Watch the series as well!
The evolution one is stunning precisely because it’s so good. Evolution finally clicked for me when I asked why reproduction mutations (like colored feathers) mattered instead of only survival ones, my teacher just said “The ones who reproduce, reproduce, the ones who don’t, don’t.”
. I also once asked him if he thought slavery was morally acceptable and his response was “if it would benefit me then yeah.”
he has that in common with John Patrick Henry
Would any one believe that I am master of slaves by my own purchase? I am drawn along by the general inconvenience of living without them. I will not — I cannot justify it, however culpable my conduct. - John Patrick Henry US Founding father
I love philomena and can’t believe I haven’t heard that one, do you know offhand where it’s from so I can fix that?
Unfortunately not for certain, but I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the “Cunk on Earth” documentary series
